What etiquette rules should you follow at home? Norms and rules of decency for men and women - the basics of small talk and behavior in society

Should you be polite at home?

Anyone who believes that upon returning home it is possible to outerwear leaving your politeness in the corridor will never become a well-mannered person.

Rules of behavior when communicating with other people should be observed always and everywhere, and above all at home. Any family is small team loved ones. And in order to create a good atmosphere in any team, each of its members must remember about the others, take into account their habits and weaknesses, show attention to each other, and try to make everyone feel good together. Great importance In the life of families, they have mutual attention and care, which is manifested even in small things.

If you learn to live in harmony and harmony with your loved ones, you will acquire skills to behave in any society.

Remember the basic rules of home etiquette:

Remember that the basis of every family is respect for elders.

If you need to stay late at school, on a walk, or visiting a friend, be sure to warn your parents about this so as not to worry them.

Keep your things clean and organized. Try to ensure that each thing has its own place.

Be sure to take on some household responsibilities and complete them without unnecessary reminders.

Respect the work of those who care about you. Express sincere gratitude to your loved ones more often.

Whoever goes to visit in the morning acts wisely... Both adults and children know that when visiting and at the table you should not behave like a famous person Winnie the Pooh. The character created by Alan Milne is by no means a standard of exemplary behavior. In order not to find yourself in an awkward position, it is useful to know basic rules of etiquette at a party and at the table.

1. Etiquette for receiving/meeting guests

Prepare to receiving guests it needs to be done according to plan and without haste, which creates unnecessary anxiety.

You should not overly decorate the apartment with flowers, in which case those brought by guests will not cause desired effect. Be sure to leave one or two vases free, but filled with water, so that you can place the flowers you brought in without fuss and wasting time. On the table, flowers should be in low vases so as not to cover the faces of those sitting opposite each other.

For smokers, be sure to provide ashtrays and remove cigarette butts from them from time to time.

The hostess should be dressed well, but in no case too expensive or too elegant.

According to etiquette, home owner meets guests on the threshold of the apartment, helps them take off their coats and leads them to the hostess, who introduces them to the other guests.

If the guests brought a gift, the hosts thank them and immediately unwrap it.

From the moment guests sit down at the table, hosts must ensure that guests have everything at hand.

The hosts are obliged to conduct a conversation without, however, imposing it on the guests and without preventing them from freely expressing their opinions.

You can show albums with photos and movies only when everyone wants it. This also applies to scrolling through records or playing musical instruments. When receiving guests, we can turn on music or TV only if everyone present wants it.

2. Let's go visit: visiting etiquette

But not only hosts have responsibilities towards guests. Guests also have their own responsibilities. What are the etiquette rules for guests?

When you are invited to visit, you must answer categorically whether you accept the invitation or not. If you can not come for a visit, be sure to indicate the reason that prevents you from doing this, otherwise your refusal may be perceived as discourtesy.

If you are invited to lunch or dinner, be specific. You can only be late for a cocktail.

A polite guest usually presents the hostess with flowers. They can be replaced with a box of chocolates, a bottle of suitable wine or some elegant trinket.

It is customary for guests to praise the food, but only if there are only a few guests and, moreover, they are all friends of the house. At large official receptions such praise is inappropriate. The guest should not wait for the hosts to persuade him to try this or that dish - this custom is outdated. IN modern society the guest accepts in advance that the hosts will be pleased if he likes the treat, but that they will not be offended by him if for some reason he eats a little or even does not try some dish at all.

The guest should try to maintain a conversation with the other guests, should contribute to the creation of a pleasant atmosphere, but he should not absorb the attention of those present with long stories about his family, about his work, should not be immersed in memories, have quiet confidential conversations (whispering, of course, should not be discussed at all). out of the question!) or tell indecent jokes.

If a guest needs to leave early, he should choose the right moment, say goodbye to the hosts, thank them for their welcome, and leave quietly so that other guests do not take his departure as a sign that it is time for everyone to leave. It’s good to call the owners by phone one of the following days and thank them again for the hours you spent with them. And when will it pass known time, you need to think about a return invitation to visit. This can be replaced with an invitation to the theater or concert. However, such invitations are not always required. So, for example, if young people were invited to the parents of their friends, then they are by no means obliged to invite them to their place in turn.

3. Table etiquette

It is not customary to place your elbows on the table, much less rest your cheeks on your palms. You can place only your hand on the edge of the table. While eating, you should sit completely straight, bring food to your mouth with calm hand movements, while your elbows should be almost pressed to your body, and your head should be tilted as little as possible. According to the rules, it is not necessary to tilt your head towards the plate, but to bring your hand with a spoon or fork to your mouth. The napkin is placed on your lap. A piece of bread cannot be cut with a knife, but must be broken with your hand. It is not customary to crumble bread into soup or sauce.

When we eat meat or food that needs to be cut with a knife, the knife is held in the right hand and the fork in the left. From a whole piece, cut off a small piece and put it in your mouth. It’s not nice to pre-cut the entire portion into pieces and only then eat it.

According to table etiquette, under no circumstances should any food be eaten from a knife.

If the food does not need to be cut, it is eaten with only a fork, holding it in the right hand. IN

In general, all utensils - a knife, a fork and a spoon - are held in the hands only when they are used. It’s not nice to hold them when talking with a neighbor, and if you also gesticulate with them, it will look simply comical.

At the table you should eat calmly, slowly, and you should never talk to mouth full.

Before taking a sip from a glass, you need to wipe your mouth with a napkin, as soiled glasses have an unpleasant appearance. When eating, never leave a knife and fork on the tablecloth, as this can get dirty. They are placed crosswise on the plate.

After finishing eating, they need to be placed on a plate parallel to each other (knife to the right of the fork).

Bones, fruit pits and, in general, all food leftovers are under no circumstances allowed to be placed on the tablecloth, as it will get dirty. They are left on the edge of the plate on which they were eaten.

It is correct for the lady to start eating first and finish last. Such a privilege, however, requires attention on her part, which would enable the man accompanying her, as well as other men sitting at the table, to eat in peace; it is not customary to smoke at the table until the main courses are finished.

If dishes, salads, appetizers and side dishes are served on a common platter, they are placed on the plate only with a specially designed device for this purpose, and then put back. Under no circumstances should you take your own cutlery from a shared dish. Do not also forget that it is better to serve yourself this or that dish twice than to fill your plate to the brim. If the food is hot, then it is not customary to take a piece with a fork and blow on it so that it cools down quickly. The same applies to hot soups.

While eating, do not slurp, grimace, or swallow quickly and greedily. You need to eat with your mouth closed, completely silently, putting it in your mouth small pieces and chewing them thoroughly and calmly. Never drink if your mouth is full, and do so only after you have chewed and swallowed your food. This is why, when making toasts and clinking glasses, you need to be careful not to put someone in an awkward position if their mouth is full at that moment.

If you need to leave the table for a while, it is indecent to get up with your mouth full and walk around chewing. For the same reason, it is tactless to ask you to dance immediately after the orchestra starts playing (even if it is your favorite melody), if the lady has just put a piece in her mouth. A few seconds hardly make a difference. An attentive gentleman will never stop his lady from calmly finishing her meal if the dish needs to be eaten hot.

According to table etiquette, you should not use a toothpick in front of everyone - this is a very unpleasant sight. It is unsightly to remove food debris between the teeth using the tongue, as this will cause the person to make obscene grimaces.

You should never persistently force your dining companion to eat something that he clearly does not like or that he refuses because he is already full. And you should not continually offer to drink to the bottom in order to avoid unpleasant consequences for some company members. It is also not customary to fill glasses to the brim.

Ashes from cigarettes are shaken off only into special ashtrays that are placed on the table. It is important to remember that you will put yourself in an awkward position if you shake the ashes into the plate on which you ate, or - even worse - put out your cigars on a coaster.

At the table you should only talk about pleasant and funny things that help create Have a good mood. You should never say anything that can darken your mood or spoil your appetite.

We should not forget that food for a person is not only a necessity, but also a pleasure. And recommended rules of etiquette designed to combine the practical with the beautiful. Within their framework cultured person creates tactical options himself.

Etiquette is about behaving better than absolutely necessary.

Politeness is not difficult to show, it is just respect for yourself and others. But there are several nuances that not everyone knows about. We have collected rules that may well make our life more enjoyable.

1. Never come to visit without calling. If you are visited without warning, you can afford to wear a robe and curlers. One British lady said that when uninvited guests appear, she always puts on shoes, a hat and takes an umbrella. If a person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!” If it’s unpleasant: “Oh, what a pity, I have to leave.”

2. The umbrella is never dried open - neither in the office nor at a party. It needs to be folded and placed in a special stand or hung.

3. The bag should not be placed on your lap or on your chair. A small elegant clutch bag can be placed on the table, a large bag can be hung on the back of a chair or placed on the floor if there is no special chair (these are often served in restaurants). The briefcase is placed on the floor.

4. Cellophane bags are only acceptable when returning from the supermarket, as are paper branded bags from boutiques. Carrying them with you later as a bag is redneck.

5. A man never wears women's bag. AND woman coat he takes it only to carry it to the locker room.

6. Home clothes are trousers and a sweater, comfortable but decent looking. The robe and pajamas are designed to go to the bathroom in the morning, and from the bathroom to the bedroom in the evening.

7. From the moment the child settles in a separate room, learn to knock when entering his room. Then he will do the same before entering your bedroom.

8. A woman may wear her hat and gloves indoors, but not her cap and mittens.

9. According to the international protocol, the total number of jewelry should not exceed 13 items, and this includes jewelry buttons. A ring is not worn over gloves, but a bracelet is allowed. The darker it is outside, the more expensive the jewelry. Diamonds used to be considered an adornment for evening and married ladies, but in Lately It became permissible to wear diamonds during the day. On a young girl, stud earrings with a diamond of about 0.25 carats are quite appropriate.

10. Rules for paying for an order in a restaurant: if you say the phrase “I invite you,” this means you pay. If a woman invites a business partner to a restaurant, she pays. Another formulation: “Let’s go to a restaurant,” - in this case, everyone pays for themselves, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, can she agree.

11. A man always enters the elevator first, but the one closest to the door exits first.

12. In a car, the most prestigious seat is considered to be behind the driver, a woman occupies it, a man sits next to her, and when he gets out of the car, he holds the door and gives the lady his hand. If a man is driving, it is also preferable for a woman to take a seat behind him. However, no matter where the woman sits, the man must open the door for her and help her out. In business etiquette, men have recently been increasingly violating this norm, using the feminist motto: “There are no women and men in business.”

13. Talking publicly about the fact that you are on a diet is bad form. Moreover, it is impossible, under this pretext, to refuse the dishes offered hospitable hostess. Be sure to praise her culinary talents, while you don't have to eat anything. The same should be done with alcohol. Don't tell everyone why you can't drink. Ask for dry white wine and sip lightly.

14. Taboo topics for small talk: politics, religion, health, money. Inappropriate question: “God, what a dress! How much did you pay? How to react? Smile sweetly: “It’s a gift!” Change the conversation to another topic. If the other person insists, say softly: “I wouldn’t like to talk about it.”

15. Every person over 12 years of age must be addressed as “you.” It’s disgusting to hear people say “you” to waiters or drivers. Even to those people with whom you know well, it is better to address them as “you” in the office, but only as “you” in private. The exception is if you are peers or close friends. How to react if your interlocutor persistently “pokes” you? First, ask again: “Excuse me, are you addressing me?” Otherwise, a neutral shrug: “Sorry, but we didn’t switch to “you.”

16. Discussing those who are absent, that is, simply gossiping, is unacceptable. It is impermissible to speak badly about loved ones, in particular to discuss husbands, as is customary in our country. If your husband is bad, why don't you divorce him? And in the same way it is impermissible to speak with contempt and with a grimace about home country. “In this country, everyone is a redneck...” - in this case, you also belong to this category of people.

17. When you come to the cinema, theater, or concert, you should go to your seats only facing those sitting. The man goes first.

18. Nine things should be kept secret: age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, the composition of a medicine, a love affair, a gift, honor and dishonor.

And finally - Jack Nicholson about the rules good manners:

“I am very sensitive to the rules of good manners. How to pass a plate. Don't shout from one room to another. Do not open a closed door without knocking. Let the lady go first. The purpose of all these countless simple rules is to make life better. We cannot live in a state of chronic war with our parents - this is stupid. I take great care of my manners. This is not some kind of abstraction. This is a language of mutual respect that everyone understands.”

Etiquette is the rules of behavior of people in society, which determine what can and cannot be done in certain situations. Knowing etiquette helps you make a good impression on people and build effective communication. This will be especially useful when attending special events.

Many of us feel awkward when going to an expensive restaurant or attending an important business meeting. This happens because we don’t know exactly how to behave correctly. Basic rules of etiquette will allow you not to fall on your face in any situation.

Rules of behavior in society

Never come to visit without calling. And if you are visited without warning, you can afford to wear a robe and curlers.

If you accept the invitation, show punctuality - do not say the famous “I may be a little late.” Be on time. Only a very important person or a star can be more than half an hour late: as you know, they are not late, but delayed.

When visiting or attending a party, it is always better to have a gift on hand. It doesn't have to be expensive. Win-win options- wine and desserts. If there are small children in the house, bring something for them too.

The format of greetings upon entry - kisses, hugs, handshakes or other signs of respect - is determined by older guests. Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a schoolboy - when entering the room, say hello first.

The usual rules apply at the table. Eat at the same pace as everyone else.

Certain uncomfortable topics of conversation are best avoided. It is believed that one cannot talk about salary, politics, health, religion. Good topics for casual conversation: sports, weather, cooking, pets, art, science, travel and the like.

While eating, place the napkin on your lap, and then to the left of the plate. In turn, leave the cutlery on the plate and not on the table.

Do not place your smartphone on the table in public places. By doing this you show how important role this gadget plays in your life and how uninteresting you are in the conversation taking place nearby. It's better not to use your phone at all during dinner.

Always turn on silent mode or turn off your phone completely in the theater, library, cinema, or at a lecture. If you need to make or receive a call, move two or three meters to the side so as not to disturb your friends' conversation.

When receiving guests, make sure that the size of the table matches the number of guests. The tablecloth must be impeccable. The dishes must be from the same set. It is worth choosing all the plates and other items according to material and color.

If the menu has 2 types of dishes and 2 fundamentally different wines, give each guest an extra glass. Don't forget about water glasses.

If someone comes to you for the first time, first show the guest where they can wash their hands and clean themselves up, and then invite them into the living room.

If there are strangers among the guests, they must be introduced to each other. When meeting, they introduce: a man to a woman, those younger in age and position to the elders, those who came later to those already present. In this case, the person you introduce the stranger to is mentioned first, and the one you introduce is mentioned second.

Representatives of the fair sex are not recommended to check or apply makeup during a conversation or at the table, and men are not recommended to comb their hair, touch their hairstyle or beard. Don’t forget to thank them! Say “thank you” to the owner and, if possible, to others with whom you spoke for interesting conversation. The host should thank all the guests, mentioning that it was their arrival that made this event special.

Nothing costs us so little or is valued so much as politeness. The rules of etiquette are quite simple and based on common sense. You show them in relation to another person, he shows them in relation to you. This way everyone wins.
And finally - Jack Nicholson on the rules of good manners: “I am very sensitive to the rules of good manners. How to pass a plate. Don't shout from one room to another. Do not open a closed door without knocking. Let the lady go first. The purpose of all these countless simple rules is to make life better. This is not some kind of abstraction. This is a language of mutual respect that everyone understands.”

In modern society, it is important to have good manners and be able to behave correctly in different life situations. Etiquette has many features and is a complex science. The main subtlety is that there are no clearly defined norms of behavior; everything depends on the circumstances, time and place. The rules of etiquette between a man and a girl will make communication more pleasant, and good manners will help to have a psychological impact on the partner.

What are the rules of etiquette

The concept comes from French word“etiquette”, which means a set of generally accepted rules of behavior, knowledge of the basics of politeness. There are several main types of etiquette:

the ability to present oneself: building a wardrobe, caring for one’s appearance, physical form, gestures, postures, posture;
speech form: ability to give compliments, greetings, gratitude, manner of speech;
table etiquette: ability to eat, knowledge of serving standards, table manners;
behavior in society: how to behave in an office, store, exhibition, museum, restaurant, theater, court;
Business Etiquette: relationships with superiors, colleagues, business negotiations.

Rules of good manners for men

If a representative of the stronger sex values his reputation in society, he will always observe moderation in clothing. Shorts and T-shirts are appropriate for a family dinner or during a country vacation. For an informal setting, sports or classic clothes are suitable, and for business meetings a tie and jacket are required. As for good manners, it will not be difficult for a well-mannered man to politely nod in response to a greeting even from a stranger. How to communicate with a woman, superiors, and relatives will be discussed below.

Modern etiquette for women

The first rule for a woman is tact in all situations. Etiquette lessons involve behaving respectfully with everyone, be it your neighbor, your business partner, or your front door cleaner. If a woman likes to joke, then she should clearly determine in what situation you can allow a joke, and with whom you need to be serious. It is necessary to observe a culture of communication with the opposite sex. You should not flirt, make advances or make eyes at men you don’t know or know – this is a violation of etiquette. Politeness presupposes simple communication without intrigue, gossip and rumors.

Etiquette standards for children

Rules of behavior in society also exist for children. Future success, career, and environment will depend on the knowledge that a child receives in childhood. The simplest techniques for mastering the rules of etiquette are reading fairy tales, watching cartoons, using board games on this topic, humming songs. The basic rule of politeness for a child is respect for all adults, children, and animals without exception. Everything else flows smoothly from this.

How to behave in society

Basic set of etiquette rules for men and women:

Don't come to visit without calling. Only if you are visited without warning can you allow yourself to meet a person in home clothes.
Do not place your bag on a chair or on your lap. A bulky backpack can be hung on the back of a chair. A purse or small handbag is placed on the table, and if a man carries a briefcase, then it should be left on the floor.
When meeting someone, say your name first if you are going to communicate with a group of people. Should only be served right hand.
The passenger must sit in the back seat of the car. The most prestigious seat is the one located behind the driver.

In communication with people

A typical day for modern man includes many situations in which culture of behavior and demeanor are tested: communication in stores, on public transport, meeting colleagues, rules speech etiquette at official receptions and so on. As for the first meeting with a person, the impression is created on how well the interlocutor knows how to introduce himself. In everyday etiquette, younger people or men make acquaintances first. To make a good impression, you should always start your conversation with a smile.

How a girl should behave with a guy

Modern etiquette for girls it requires knowledge of the basic rules of behavior with the opposite sex. When meeting a man for the first time, you should not throw yourself on his neck; it would be appropriate to simply extend your hand. On a date, you need to behave lightly and naturally, joke and smile, but not be offended. You can’t help but tell a man about your shortcomings or unsuccessful relationship experiences at the first meeting. There is no need to shout about the advantages either; you can mention them, but in passing.

Basic Etiquette

The rules of cultural behavior are simple: a culture of speech that has a stylistic and grammatical orientation, well-groomed appearance, attentiveness towards the interlocutor, the ability to provide a service to someone in need, to listen to the speaker. The norm of acquaintance and subsequent communication is conditional, therefore it has the nature of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted and what is not. Every cultured person should know and follow the rules of etiquette, understanding their necessity for society.

Good manners

A well-mannered person is immediately distinguished from the crowd. He is distinguished by knowledge of etiquette and a certain manner of behavior: voice intonation, expressions used in speech, gait, facial expressions, gestures. This is restraint, modesty, the ability to control emotions, actions, words. To correspond to the concept of secular well-mannered person, you need to know and follow certain rules that are considered mandatory in a decent society:

when greeting, the woman is the first to offer her hand to the man;
men greet everyone without exception while standing;
when introducing a guest to other people (during acquaintance), they call his name, surname, patronymic (during business communication– profession);
they don't bring you to visit bad mood, and if present negative emotions, then the visit should be abandoned;
Children should not be allowed to interfere in the conversation of adults, interrupt elders, or whisper in the ear;
No comments are made to other people's children in the presence of their parents;
When giving gifts to people, you should be tactful, taking into account gender, age, and profession.

Dressing skills

The rules of etiquette oblige not only to know the correct manner of greeting acquaintances and strangers, be able to maintain small talk and adhere to decorum in behavior, but also correctly wear clothes appropriate for the occasion. Nothing catches the eye like colorful things. Things that are inappropriate for a man include: embroidered shirts, vulgar suits, too bright ties. Business attire should be moderately fashionable. In the morning you are allowed to wear a jacket, frock coat or suit jacket. The color should correspond to the season: light in summer, dark in winter.

The ability to dress tastefully is the first sign of a woman’s upbringing. The Encyclopedia of Etiquette contains a range of rules relating to clothing, the observance of which distinguishes a real lady. Women's clothing must be consistent with the nature of the work. An image that is acceptable in a model house will not be acceptable in a brokerage office. A business lady is not suitable for a business lunch or conference Short skirt or a low-necked blouse. If the meeting will be at a resort hotel or club, you need to take several outfits that will be suitable for different situations.

How to present yourself correctly

A few more generally accepted norms of etiquette:

you need to walk with a straight posture, toned belly and straightened shoulders;
Communication norms regarding greetings include polite words, but they are not always correct, for example, “good afternoon” should not be said to a person with an upset face;
even unknown men should help ladies enter the premises by holding front door;
the word “please” should be used with any request;
Before saying goodbye to your interlocutor, you should first prepare for this: “Unfortunately, it’s too late,” and then say words of gratitude or a compliment (if it’s a woman).

Rules of etiquette when communicating

The rules of etiquette must be observed when communicating between women and men. The male representative should follow to the left of the companion and be the first to enter the restaurant. If a lady greets acquaintances, the gentleman should also greet them, even if the people are strangers to him. Without a woman's approval, a man has no right to touch her. Allowed only in moments of assistance (getting into a car, crossing the road). Smoking in the presence of another person, regardless of gender, is possible only with the permission of the interlocutor.

There are certain rules of speech behavior. So, if you are insulted in the presence of other people, you should not succumb to provocations. Get up and leave the scene. You cannot ask your interlocutor for information about his material well-being, love affairs and other personal things. If you invite a business partner to a meeting, do not forget about punctuality. Particular respect should be shown to people who have shown generosity or come to your aid in Hard time– they were not obliged to do this.

Conversational etiquette

Rules of politeness exist in any conversation. Speech behavior is divided into written and oral forms, with the former having more strict rules. There are several types of conversations: business, official, informal. The oral form has simpler rules, for example, instead of a verbal greeting, you can get by with a nod of the head. The ability to speak politely is to tell your interlocutor only those things that you yourself would like to hear. The basic principles of conversation are correctness, brevity, accuracy, appropriateness.

How to communicate with someone on the phone

Compliance with the rules of netiquette should also be observed when communicating on the phone. During a conversation, you need to carefully monitor your intonation, since the interlocutor does not see your face and may misunderstand the meaning of the message. You should not keep the person calling; the maximum time to pick up the phone is six rings. There is no need to rush to the phone either - it is better to answer after the third ring. It is customary to call the interlocutor by name if he is familiar. If not, then it is advisable to introduce yourself first.

Good manners and business etiquette

The basic norms of behavior include the rules of business communication. But not only the speech component is important when contacting partners, body language also plays an important role. For example, when talking, you should not spread your legs wide, keep your hands in your pockets, or hunch over. Excessive gestures are also not encouraged - in order not to embarrass the interlocutor, gestures should be restrained. Pay attention to the person’s personal space – the distance should not be smaller size outstretched arm.

Household etiquette rules

Family members should be especially polite to each other. To maintain a warm relationship, you must constantly monitor psychological climate, sincerely rejoice in the successes of loved ones, do not resort to insults during quarrels, use the words “sorry”, “thank you”, “ Good morning" and others. It is necessary to respect the older generation and not read the personal notes of your children without permission.

How to behave at the table

The main rule of behavior at the table is that you cannot chew with your mouth open. Talking is also undesirable, especially when chewing food. Before you put some of the common dish on your plate, you must first offer it to the rest of those present. You should not serve your own plate first, but give the opportunity to guests or older family members to do so. When setting the table, common cutlery is placed next to each dish. The soup must be served in special bowls from the person sitting to the right.

Etiquette at a party

Receive friends and visit them - good practice etiquette form of dating. For admission it is considered best time– dinner, but you need to invite people in advance so that they can adjust their plans. The dress code may be informal. According to etiquette, an unfamiliar guest is called everyone present by name only after his own introduction. IN friendly company You can skip serving the main course, but this is unacceptable for a business dinner. It is important to know how to use cutlery different types, even if the owners of others national traditions.