Comic telegrams. Texts of comic telegrams for a birthday, yu... Comic telegrams for a woman’s anniversary from celebrities

Postman Pechkin at the anniversary

Presenter: Good evening, dear guests, I would like to welcome you all to this room today. Do you know why we have gathered here today? (guests must answer).

Presenter: That's right, today we will celebrate the birthday of one wonderful woman, this evening is dedicated to you, our beloved Anna Alekseevna, because today you are the hero of the day, dear. So, dear guests, let us dance, sing songs and congratulate today!

(there is a loud knock on the door).

Presenter: Who is that knocking on our door? Who's there?

(answer from behind the door).

It’s me, Postman Pechkin, who brought telegrams for your hero of the day.

(Postman Pechkin comes out from behind the door, with a large bag with telegrams, dressed up like in the cartoon Prostokvashino).

Presenter: Hello, Postman Pechkin. Come to us and make yourself at home.

Postman Pechkin: Yes, yes, whose are you? Where did you come from? (addresses the hero of the day). In addition to telegrams, I have this newspaper, which says the following: A woman has disappeared, height 170 cm, brown eyes, light brown hair, 55 years old. A bicycle awaits the finder. And excuse me, this lady is very suitable, now I will measure you here (takes a tape measure and approaches the hero of the day and begins to measure her). Excuse me, how old are you today? (The hero of the day answers 55). Yes, it’s definitely you! Hooray, now I will have my own bike.

Presenter: Just wait, it’s our anniversary here, and you’re with your bike.

Postman Pechkin: Well, excuse me, they don’t give bicycles for everyone.

Presenter: It would be better if you read out congratulatory telegrams to us.

Postman Pechkin: In front of all the guests, I confess,
Why do I become soft with women?
And I won’t be harmful anymore.
After all, I came to the anniversary,
Congratulate the birthday girl quickly,
And read telegrams from friends to her.

Presenter: Well, come on, dear guests, we will hear telegrams for our hero of the day.

Postman Pechkin: I brought you telegrams, but I won’t give them to you.

Presenter: Why is that? Come on, give us our telegrams?

Postman Pechkin: I will give you all your telegrams only when you treat me to something tasty and after the birthday celebration the hero of the day comes with me. I want to return it to those who are looking for it. And finally pick up your promised bike.

Presenter: Well, okay, okay. And we will treat you and you will return your hero of the day to good hands! Well, dear guests, shall we treat our dear Pechkin to something tasty? (all guests must answer). Our dear Postman Pechkin, please sit down at our table. (Pechkin goes to the table and sits next to the hero of the day, they pour vodka for him, and everyone sings together for our birthday boy).

Postman Pechkin: Thank you for your treat. Well, now let's get down to the congratulatory telegrams.

Here is the first telegram for you:

Here's Anyuta for your anniversary,
A telegram from Galya Blanca as soon as possible,
She sent you as a gift,
This cube is precious!

(Gives a bouillon cube from Galina Blanca).

Second telegram:

Dear hero of the day,
You are simply super, there is no one more beautiful than you,
So accept greetings from me, from Rasputina Masha.

Third telegram:

Greetings from Putin here,
He sends you an envelope of money. (gives an envelope with money).

Fourth Telegram:

Telegram from Tatyana Ustinova,
She gives you as a gift,
This book is for leisure,
Read it and don't be bored at all.

Fifth telegram:

My compliment for you Anyuta,
Organ organ You are my soul!
Basque Kolya writes this to you!
Please accept my congratulations.

Sixth telegram:

Greetings from Vinokur,
You are super, artistic nature,
Accept from me on your day,
Quick kiss.

Seventh telegram:

I'll write in a telegram,
That I love only you very much,
Open this heart,
And always be only you with me.
And Kirkorov also sends you lipstick,
Put on your makeup, put on your makeup -
Filippchik will like you. (gives lipstick and a mirror in the shape of a heart).

Eighth telegram:

May everything always be fine for you,
Take a kiss from me, Kseni Sobchak.
Postman Pechkin: That's all my congratulatory telegrams. And now, dear guests, let’s drink to our dear, beloved, dear hero of the day.

(all guests raise their glasses, and Postman Pechkin says a toast).

Postman Pechkin: Dear Anya,
I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart,
And I wish to see you again,
Come to Prostokvashino now,
I will be glad to see you, the door is always open for you.

(this ends the scene with Postman Pechkin).

Texts of comic telegrams for birthdays, anniversaries

“Happy Birthday. I’m already on my way. I’ll be there tomorrow morning.”
(HANGOVER)

“Although I am fickle and changeable, I am never bad. So accept me today as I am.”
(WEATHER)

"Drink, go for a walk, just to have enough of me"
(HEALTH)

“It’s indecent to squeeze and stroke me for so long. Finally make a decision.”
(SHOT OF VODKA)

"I'm as devastated as always on your birthday."
(FRIDGE)

"Don't drink without me"
(TOAST)

“I want to cuddle up to your knees or chest”
(NAPKIN)

"Happy Birthday dear, I will be with you for three more days"
(OLIVIER SALAD)

"You're still drinking and you're thinking about me"
(LIVER)

Ask your friends not to scare me like last time."
(TOILET)

I'm already deformed, when will the dancing start?
(POP)

Oh, and I’ll unwind today.
(TOILET PAPER)

“Oh, when will everyone leave, when we’ll be alone and you’ll start looking at me.”
(PRESENT)

Be careful, we might not be able to keep you."
(LEGS)

Thank you for the holiday, I will come back next year"
(BIRTHDAY)

“Such physical exertion can make you go crazy.”
(JAW)

“If I hiss, don’t be offended, because it’s because of the feelings overwhelming me.”
(Champagne)

“We report: we started work with a bang!”
(Chairs)

“Today you will listen only to us”
(Congratulations and Wishes)

“How we hate your birthday. If your friends treat us like this, you will be left without us.”
(Ears)
"Congratulations. I wish you to have fun with me on your birthday.”
(Shashlik)

“I want to capture this wonderful birthday” -.
(Camera)

“I’m ready to shed tears about your passing years.”
(Rain)

“I want to congratulate the birthday boy, no, step on my throat.”
(Song)

“I allow you to get drunk today, you won’t get me drunk anyway.”
(Talent)

“I am happy for you and melt with happiness.”
(Jellied meat or Ice cream)

“I wither in comparison with your charm.”
(Bouquet)

“Ready to blow into your sails!”
(Wind)

“We wish our dreams come true.”
(Dreams)

“Sorry that I’m wearing a fur coat. Help me remove it."
(Herring)

“I’ll take care of the festive illumination.”
(Chandelier)

“You’re still drinking, but are you thinking about me?”
(Liver)

“Those who wanted to congratulate you cut me off!”
(Telephone)

“Don’t be sad that you parted with us. Next year we promise to visit more often.”
(Money)

“If you get drunk, there’s no point in blaming me later.”
(Mirror)

“I may be a fool, but it feels so good to be stuffed.”
(Stomach)

“I spread out into black rivulets of joy.”
(Mascara)

“You celebrate, we’ll wait.” .
(Affairs)

“I promise not to wake up on your birthday.”
(Salt)

“I forgive you for not noticing me.”
(Time)

“Forget your sorrows, give yourself to me.”
(Fun)

“Already ready to ignite.”
(Cake)

“Knock, knock, knock, it’s me!” Open the door!"
(Happiness)

“Darling, I know that on this birthday you wanted to break up with me. I beg you, don’t leave me.”
(Nicotine)

“I’m waiting for everyone to leave so I can say: “You’re mine now!”
(Dirty dishes)

SMS - FROM VARIETY STARS
On the eve of our holiday, pop stars congratulated us. They gave her their compliments for a long time and sincerely. Now I invite you to listen to the audio recording of these phone calls.

1.
Alla called first.
She found out about the anniversary.
And sends greetings to you all.
Advice to the birthday girl:
Rest...

2.
And immediately after Pugacheva Allka
Her friend called, Galkin.
In his heart he could not contain his admiration,
The hero of the day repeated only one thing:
I've seen a lot of girls in my life...

3.
Kirkorov Philip, not sparing words,
Declares his love on the anniversary day:
I don't sleep well at night...

4.
And the Basques are not far behind him.
Today he sings to Olga:
My lovely...

5.
Prime Minister's musicians
Today the secret was revealed to everyone.
That song where the eyes are like diamonds
They dedicated to our Olga:
Two diamonds...

6.
Another man was crying.
And Olga is the reason for this:
I love you to tears...

7.
Kirkorov did not calm down.
I went to a tavern and got drunk there.
He called Olga again
And into the phone he said to her:
I raise my glass...

8.
And Dima Malikov tenderly, in secret,
I sang this line soulfully:
You're alone, you're so...

9.
Piekha Stas was in a hurry somewhere on business.
Let's listen to what he tells us:
I'll give you...

10.
I miss the birthday girl
In cold and snowy Moscow
Sang with longing by Soso Pavliashvili
"Where are you, honey? Where are you?"
A Georgian is waiting for you...

11.
As time went. Kirkorov drank.
The wine did not cool the ardor:
My only one...

12.
And all the men, burning with love,
They repeated, without hiding their admiration:
Ah, what a woman...

13.
And the congratulations continued.
And, all illuminated with happiness,
The culprit on her birthday
I could only hear the words:
I wish you...

14.
And at the end of the concert of stars,
Whose congratulations were heard in the hall,
Allegrova Irina will say a toast
For the birthday girl - let it sound in the finale!
Happy birthday...

Texts of humorous posters - telegrams.
Welcome to the Pentecostal Club! The sixties are preparing for the meeting. Sixties
Yes, it's gold because it glitters! Bald
My years are my wealth. We wish you to become a millionaire! Bill Gates
We will call the autumn of life, like the autumn of the year, golden! Russian Green Party
To find out your truthth age, sum up the numbers indicating it (check with numerologists for the interpretation of the result obtained). Department of Applied Mathematics

Oh, how many wonderful discoveries our granddaughter (or grandson) is preparing for us. Trade Union of Russian Grandparents
Why, if “wise”, is there always a “scarecrow”? Opponents of the writer A. Volkov
Age and wisdom are twins - brothers! Who is more valuable than our grandfather? Loving grandchildren
And the gentleman is quite enough for me... Wife of a full holder of the Order of Glory

Tick-tock walkers. Years fly by.
Life is neither sugar nor honey...
... Maybe the hero of the day will pour it? Group "Balagan Limited"

If you're not sure, don't overtake! /advice from the hero of the day to his younger brother/
If I were a sultan, I wouldn’t live to see the anniversary... Eastern wisdom
Always dance, dance everywhere, until the last days! The motto of the frisky hero of the day
Tolley will still be there, oh - oh - oh! Your new anniversary
For anniversaries and their guests! A new heel repair service center has opened! Shoe factory

And there are no words in the world that express our feelings! Overflowing with feelings
Stop bending over to your boss, it’s time to get serious about your garden! Neighbors in the countryside
Long live the new Russian pensioners! Just new Russians
What makes you think that we are tired of each other? Your favorite job
Today is considered a dress rehearsal. The main performance in five years. Next anniversary

So I waited for the anniversary and signed up for pensioners! Your favorite hero of the day
Hooray! The shelf of our readers has arrived! Dontsova, Dashkova, Polyakova
Well, now can we count on you? Children and grandchildren
Down with planning meetings and reports! Give me fishing and hunting! Friends - pensioners
Work, everything is given to you! But I’ll keep the best years for myself. Jubilee

Guests of the hero of the day, do not be shy, gather around the table more often! Anniversary Sponsors
Work is not a wolf, it is not afraid of pensioners. Humane bosses
The door will always be open for you! Watchman from his favorite job
What is adulthood? This is a miracle! Yu. Shevchuk
So what if my temples turned grey! If only the guests could sit longer! Sentimental hero of the day

Don’t get sick, toughen up and don’t give in to illnesses! Health group activists
Did you wish great happiness to the hero of the day? Othello
The wishes of the hero of the day are the law for guests! Constitutional Court of the Russian Federation
Now his star has risen! Planetarium staff
It’s not a shame to be the hero of the day, the trouble is that you can’t invite guests! Experienced guests

Give the hero of the day a foothold - and he will set the table. Archimedes
If the granite of science is no longer too tough, switch to the nectar of art! Hermitage staff
Congratulations are good, but gifts are better! State repository of the Russian Federation
Gentlemen! The 5 years following the anniversary are rounded down! Research Institute of Statistics
Save yourself, who can! Weeds and garden pests

Relaxing is also a science! Research Institute of Balneology
We are not the prosecutor's office, but you can't hide from us either! Your anniversaries
Don't forget to celebrate the anniversary in the old style! Supporters of the Julian calendar
The last one to leave dances well. Rock and roll fans
The hero of the day who celebrates such an anniversary is awarded the rank of general. The general's orders are not discussed. General Staff

All ages are submissive to love, celebrants are doubly submissive. Amur
Be careful! The lights in the eyes of the hero of the day are a fire hazard for the ladies! Fire Department
Guests! Have mercy! I may not live up to my expectations! A vase for flowers

Some of the sayings that touch the soul can be written on cloths that are stretched from one wall of the hall to the other. Some of them should include invitation cards to create the appropriate mood, etc.

A universal technique for decorating a room is to hang it on the walls of the hall. “telegrams” from famous, worldly people, as well as messages with humorous content.

... this hour is in our hands. Own the present. R. Burns
Time does not pass in vain and does not roll by without any impact on our feelings: it does amazing things in the soul. St. Augustine
At no age can we acquire a talent that we lack, but at any age we can correct our mistakes. F. Voltaire
At twenty, feeling reigns, at thirty, talent, at forty, reason. B. Gracian
You can always find enough time if you use it well. I. V. Goethe
Good use of time makes time even more precious. J. J. Rousseau

Regret over the unwisely wasted time that people indulge in does not always help them to use the rest wisely. J. Labruyère
One today is worth two tomorrow. B. Franklin
Only a very few live for today; most are preparing to live later. D Swift.
To live means to act! A. France
A great man... loud in his deeds. I. Krylov

Doing what you enjoy means being free. F. Voltaire
Blessed is he who has adorned his fleeting life with a series of glorious deeds. A. Tolstoy
If something is worth doing, it is only what is considered impossible. O. Wilde
Old people love to give good advice because they are no longer capable of setting bad examples. F. La Rochefoucauld
The wise man does not fight with anyone, and therefore no one is angry with him. Lao Tzu

LET THEY WHISPER ABOUT LOVE IN TANYA'S EAR!
QUEEN NAMED...... FROG

I WISH TO DRINK ONLY FINE WINES!
HAVE FUN, TANECHKA! ........ MALVINA

LET YOUR FIGURE BE SLIM!
HELLO HOT FROM THE NORTH! ..... SNOW MAID

I WISH YOU TO SING WITH GUITAR MORE OFTEN!
GOOD COMPANY TO YOU! ....... ROTARU

I WISH NOT TO MEET UNPLANNED LOVE!
HELLO MUSICAL FROM..... BULANOVA.

LIVE, TANYUSHA, HAVE FUN AND COOL!
DON'T FORGET ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD! ............ QUEEN

I WISH LOTS OF MUSIC AND LAUGHTER,
LOVE AND ETERNAL YOUTH! .......... PIEHA

LET THERE ALWAYS BE MONEY TO THE FUCK!
AND CHICKEN LEGS! ............. BABA YAGA

YOU LOOK LIKE A PICTURE TODAY!
I PRESENT THE KEY TO HAPPINESS!..... PINOCOCIO

LET THE WHITE FLUFF FALL TO THE GROUND,
AND YOU BLOW LIKE A ROSE! …. WINNIE THE POOH

BE IN THE FIELD AND FOREST MORE OFTEN!
GOOD HEALTH TO YOU! ......... ALSU

NEVER ALLOW DEPRESSION!
BIG HELLO FROM MOM! .........ORBOX

DON'T GET INTO EMERGENCIES OR SHOOTINGS!
I WISH YOU A LONG LIFE! GROUP.........ARROWS

LET OUR FRIENDSHIP GET STRONGER EVERY YEAR!
ALWAYS BE SO SWEET! …… NATASHA

You might be interested in:

Congratulatory telegrams - riddles for the anniversary

The necessary telegrams are printed in advance.

Presenter: Congratulatory telegrams arrived for (name of the hero of the day), but all of them were unsigned. You need to guess the sender. These are people known to everyone, as well as guests. And even fairy-tale heroes!

Famous people

* * *
I wish you to live without boredom, health, happiness!
VOVA PUTIN.
* * *
I MENTALLY HUG YOU NOW
AND I WILL RAISE A GLASS OF WINE FOR YOU
I WISH YOU A LIFE WITHOUT HAPPINESS,
WARMEST GREETINGS, DMITRY MEDVEDEV.

* * *
Hold your tail with a pistol,
A pipe and a carrot!
Eat more, drink more,
Yours - ZHIRINOVSKY VOVKA.

* * *
ROMAN ABRAMOVICH SENDS CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU:
LET LUCK ALONG
MAY YOU LIVE A JOYFUL LIFE,
HAPPINESS IS FORGED IN JOY!
THE FIRE OF THE SOUL SO THAT IT DOES NOT GO OUT,
TO THIS I DRINK TO YOU AND TO YOU!
(GLORIOUS KING OF ALL CHUKOTKA).

* * *
My ward
Congratulations on the anniversary!
I continue to protect you from harm.
I'm starting to prepare for the next anniversary.
Your guardian angel is always with you.

* * *
To my beloved grandmother
We wish you happiness and health! We dream of getting into your arms!
We want to see the light soon. And we kiss you.
Your future grandchildren.
* * *
For a future client
Happy anniversary!
30 years is the maturity of youth,
50 years is youthful maturity!
Dear (name)! Grow up and join our club!
Centenarians Club.
* * *

I WISH YOU TO SING WITH GUITAR MORE OFTEN!

GOOD COMPANY TO YOU!......(ROTARU)

I WISH NOT TO MEET UNPLANNED LOVE!

HELLO TO YOU MUSICAL FROM.....(BULANOVA)

LIVE, (name of the hero of the day), FUN AND COOL!

DON'T FORGET ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD!............(QUEEN)

I WISH LOTS OF MUSIC AND LAUGHTER,

LOVE AND ETERNAL YOUTH!.........(PLAY)

BE IN THE FIELD AND FOREST MORE OFTEN!

GOOD HEALTH TO YOU!......(ALSU)

NEVER ALLOW DEPRESSION!

BIG HELLO FROM MOM!......(ORBAKAITE)

DON'T GET INTO EMERGENCIES OR SHOOTINGS!

WE WISH YOU A LONG LIFE! GROUP.......(ARROWS)

Fairy-tale heroes

* * *
LET (name of the hero of the day) WHISPER ABOUT LOVE IN YOUR EAR!

THE QUEEN CALLED......(FROG)

I WISH TO DRINK ONLY FINE WINES!

HAVE FUN, (name of the hero of the day)! .....(MALVINA)

LET YOUR FIGURE BE SLIM!

HELLO HOT FROM THE NORTH!.....(SNOW GIRL)

LET THERE ALWAYS BE MONEY TO THE FUCK!

AND CHICKEN LEGS!............ (BABA YAGA)

YOU LOOK LIKE A PICTURE TODAY!

I PRESENT THE KEY TO HAPPINESS!.....(Pinocchio)

LET THE WHITE FLUFF FALL TO THE GROUND,

AND YOU BLOW LIKE A ROSE!.... (WINNIE THE POOH)

Real telegrams with the names of the guests, written in a similar poetic form or in any other, are also inserted here.

The first person to give the correct answer is awarded chips. For the largest number of chips, a gift is awarded.

Colorful government telegram

Another prank with a telegram:

Gor. Vladimir
NOVOSELOVA TATYANA STEPANOVNA

DO YOU REMEMBER, TANYUSHA, YOUR LAST MEETING?
MOONOLAR NIGHT AND THE PERSIAN GULF?
KISSED YOU ON YOUR TENDER LIPS,
WHO WHISPERED LANGUINGLY: “I LOVE AND FORGIVE!”
WHY I DID NOT UNDERSTAND, I ASKED FORGIVENESS,
FOR GIVING ME THE WORLD,
I OPENED my EYES AND I SAW THE SUN!
FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I LOVE IT!
TANYUSHA, DEAR! WANNA SEE YOU!
INHALE THE AROM OF YOUR BLOND HAIR!
I HOPE THIS HAPPENS... AND SOON!
AS A GIFT, A TRIP TO RHODES!
LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS MEETING!
PRESIDENTIAL SUITE!
NO ONE CAN INTERFERE WITH US!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
YOUR PUTIN VOLODYA
KREMLIN CHAMBERS
MOSCOW CITY.