Stone wall, armchair warrior and gigolo: classification of husbands. Couch Warrior

I did everything right, real self-control and put the goldfinch in its place, now all this little guy will be on the lookout and paranoid that they are being watched.
Speaking of “said and done”. I want to say that I have this the most important rule in life, I believe that every man should have one, and if you don’t adhere to this rule, then you are not a man (I’ll look at the cons how many non-men have read this). I’ll explain it quite popularly. If you want to call yourself a man, then do what you say or don’t say it if you know you won’t do it. I was brought up mainly on the street where echoes of the 90s reigned, I’ll immediately make a reservation that I did not have imposed concepts of prison or anything else, I learned my life lessons and made my own life formulas for myself. Somewhere they were cruel, but they are as simple and obvious as what we see. The main thing has always been and will be “said - do”, this all develops analytical thinking, where you need to analyze the situation before saying anything and bear full responsibility for the words not to anyone, but to yourself, because every time we We verbally set ourselves some task and do not fulfill it - this has a detrimental effect on self-respect, here you can write as much as you like that you respect yourself and have never acted like this, but in your soul you will realize your insignificance even more powerfully because You lied to yourself and to everyone who reads it. I’ve read a lot of words here about how conscientious everyone is, but I’m sure that a very small part of these people lead exactly the lifestyle that corresponds to his comments. I can’t say that I wasn’t mistaken too, I don’t hide it, but I was a child then and I had nothing to compare with, I learned from my mistakes, but I think that having reached that age it’s already a shame to write such rubbish, here more like the mooing of sheep, one started - everyone else continued and this scoundrel is one of those mooing ones, only he was sent down to the whole country and more. I am sure that the SPI will be cut out and shown from the other side, but if hell exists, then their souls will burn there.
Guys, do what you say or don't say it at all.
Speaking of weapons.
I always carry a knife and documents with me, but I don’t consider it a weapon, it’s economical for everyone household item. There are also firearms available, but this is in rare cases (it came in handy once). So this is all I carry with me a huge number reasons, but I want to note the most serious one for me but not for society - this is self-control. Yes, yes, that's it. A person who has a potentially dangerous thing in his hands that he can use in any case increases his self-control before his eyes because... we encounter cases of its use every day, at least for me (this is for those who whined about knives)
In the end I want to say: Men, be men! And assholes, think about who you are and take measures so that you become men, it’s never too late.

We need progress so that everything remains the same
Unknown

Road Dust was awakened by Sese’s voice: “Get up, armchair warrior!”
He opened his eyes. It's already dawn and bright Sun rays made their way through the curtains, forming moving patterns on the walls. Road Dust stretched with gusto and cheerfully jumped to his feet. Sese gave him a towel and soap:
- When you leave the house, go straight along the path. There is a clean lake nearby, with a stream flowing from it into the skerry. It's best to wash there. Just don't skimp on soap and water, otherwise you smell... like a garbage dump.
- And I am from the trash heap. If you don’t like it, I can return to the hole - and... goodbye, Klava...
- Do not rush. You probably don't know that the hole or whatever controls it lets infiltrators through for their own reasons. Since you came here, it means you need it for something. Neither you, nor I, nor anyone else can discuss this. We just have to accept this fact and help you fulfill that destiny that neither you nor I know yet. In short, she’s unlikely to let you back now.
With these words, Sese opened the chest of drawers and took out a clean shirt and sports trousers with extended knees.
- Don’t go to the skerry; there are reeds and a lot of silt.
Road Dust went out onto the porch, looked around and confidently walked along the path. A few minutes later a picturesque view opened up to him: a small, clear lake framed by high, steep cliffs. He approached the water, undressed and began to slowly enter the water. The water was scaldingly cold, but he didn’t want to scream or rush into it hysterically: morning nature demanded peace and quiet. Road Dust remembered how beavers enter the water: quietly and imperceptibly.
“I will bathe in beaver style, in harmony with the mood of nature,” he thought.
Ten minutes later, cheerful and satisfied, he returned back. In the courtyard of the house, Road Dust encountered a woman of about forty, slender, with an attentive, sly look framed by short-cropped hair.
- Hello! I am Road Dust. I came to you from a garbage dump, where there are many, many wild rats.
The woman laughed. Her voice had a certain vibration that slightly roughened it.
- Good morning! I am the Fairy of Justice. If you want, just call me Ma.
-Are you the Fairy of Justice?! – Road Dust was surprised. - Where is your blindfold, scales in your hands and other details?
- I'm a real fairy. Got it, idiot? - and she laughed again. - If you want, consider me a witch. Who cares? A witch and a fairy are two faces of any woman.
- Yes, yes, I heard: “All girls are born angels, but when their wings are then broken off, they begin to fly on a broom.”
- Nonsense! A broom is given to a woman at birth. I remember being three years old, I already had a small broom. “But I haven’t been flying on a broom for a long time,” she answered, smiling, “firstly, it rubs, and, secondly, I need to move more myself.”
- Move? Well, well, it’s noticeable,” Road Dust looked meaningfully at her hips.
Ma instinctively smoothed out the non-existent folds on the non-existent skirt.
- By the way, you forgot another face of any woman.
- Which one?
- There is still a little monkey inside every woman.
Ma thought for a second.
- Why a monkey? Is there a monkey in me?
- Well, yes. For example, all women love to dance - even in plain sight, even in absolute solitude, not seeing, but only feeling themselves, even in front of a mirror, even naked. Isn't that right?
“Men love to dance too,” Ma retorted.
- Of course, some men love to dance as much as they love to play football, mow lawns or anything else. This is not the same at all. Not natural. Maybe one of thousands of inclinations. And women, like little monkeys, make faces and move, move... This is a thrill for you.
“Yes, you’re probably right,” she said thoughtfully. - This is a property feminine energy. But it’s not just any monkey that lives inside me, but a huge orangutan! - and she laughed infectiously again. - I brought you and Sesa breakfast; so hurry up before it gets cold. And now I’ll start dancing! And you'll stay hungry! Yes, and Sese won’t wait long for you.
- What, are you together with Sese? You are a fairy, and he... ?
- And he is an ordinary magician.
- Magician!?
- Well, yes, like everyone else who lives here.
- Wait, wait. What kind of world is this anyway? Sese didn’t tell me yesterday.
- This is the world of magicians. Magicians and fairies live in it, just as men and women live in your world.
- Are you doing magic here?
- No, we don’t do magic. We are looking for freedom.
- We, too, fight for freedom in our world.
- These are different things. It’s not my job to give you explanations; Moreover, now you are unlikely to understand them. So go ahead and eat.
Road Dust was very puzzled by Ma’s words, so he ate mechanically, and even Sese’s ritual tea did not bring him out of his stupor. Sese looked at him with a searching gaze and, finally, unable to bear it, asked what was happening to him.
- You see, I have a mess in my head. The world of magicians, a new body, a hole and the like.
- Well, firstly, our world is different from yours and, although we basically have common laws of nature, there are also differences. Your old body functions according to your laws, so in principle it cannot function with us, so for your existence here, your luminous egg had to receive a new body. By the way, it completely corresponds to your energy, age, talents, vices and virtues. Secondly, the hole only allows a luminous egg to pass through, and it is outside the laws of our worlds, so this is the invariant that allows us to travel through different worlds, receiving in each of them a body that corresponds to the laws of the world.
“I don’t yet see a fundamental difference between our worlds,” noted Road Dust, sincerely surprised.
- There is a fundamental difference, and what a difference! Our world is the world of the sons of God, and yours is the world of God’s servants.
- Are you, like, cooler? Yes? Like, are we suckers? Yes?
- No. Everyone makes their own choice.
- I didn't choose anything. It's clear!? - Road Dust got angry, - We are all in the image and likeness... and equal, that means.
- Of course, they are equal. Only we have received the world from our Father and are responsible for it and keep it as his children. And you, like slaves, are always waiting for something: someone will come, help, decide, indicate... In short, a slave is a slave, even if God’s. You constantly want to change something around you to make it more comfortable, to make it more convenient to remain the same. We, on the contrary, try to change ourselves so that around us the creation of the Lord flourishes in pristine beauty. You cannot draw closer to the Father because you do not change yourself. After all, you must approach him with your essence, your soul. Is not it?
- What should I do to stop being a servant of God?
Sese, pressing his finger, collected the crumbs near the plate and shook them onto a napkin.
- First, stop calling him “Lord”, and call him “Creator”. Well? Are you out of questions? - he asked irritably.
- No, sorry, just one more. Why did you call me an armchair warrior?
- A full answer to your question is too long and involves not a speech act, but a part of your life. I will answer briefly, otherwise, I see, you will not get rid of it. A warrior is a person who, using his iron discipline, impeccable behavior and unbending intention, moves towards freedom. All this involves continuous decisions and actions. The armchair warrior does not want to change anything in his life, although he is worried about his upcoming meeting with infinity. He is cowardly and lazy, so he transfers his anxiety into the area of ​​intellectual curiosity: he talks about everything, reads everything, asks a lot of questions - in general, he tries with all his might to deceive himself in his inaction. The armchair warrior discusses definitions, analyzes concepts, quotes and believes that before making decisions and taking actions, it is necessary to understand what it is about we're talking about. He even begins to believe that he is really moving forward, and replaces real achievements with various badges, like “full corresponding member...”, “president...”, “honorary doctor...”. These pseudo-recognitions create a protective shell and allow one to weigh in with other collectors.
- Are you saying that the armchair warrior replaces the search for freedom with external veneration?
- Yes, he is cowardly and deceitful, so over the years he turns into a disgusting, decrepit, fat old man with watery eyes - a worthy result of his battle.
- So I’m a couch warrior, and you’re a purely concrete warrior? - Road Dust was indignant, - If you want to know, I’m not a couch potato, but a wounded warrior!
Sese laughed, his laughter through open windows was echoingly reflected in the surrounding rocks.
- I haven’t heard anything like that. Wounded warrior? Who hurt you!?
Road Dust frowned. He felt that Sese was hitting the weakest point of his defense.
- Alcohol.
- Well, dear, you caused this wound to yourself. So to speak, you have a crossbow.
- Not certainly in that way...
Here Road Dust faltered. In essence, Sese was right.
“Yes, Sese, I am a couch warrior,” he finally continued, “if a warrior at all.” But I would like to become one.
- In order to become a warrior, you need to gain a lot of energy. And to gain it, you already need energy - energy for actions and decisions. The question is whether you have passed the point of no return, whether you have enough strength left to gain strength to open the taps of discipline for its entry and close its crazy drain through your vices. Besides, you know, it’s not at all a harmless thing to do magic. Once you choose this path, you must follow it. It is impossible to practice magic and remain the same in old life, it is impossible to turn back or stop for a while. Everyone who tried to do this ended badly.
- In what sense?
- In the sense that they died, disappeared, went into another world.
Road Dust became wary.
- Why on earth don’t I understand? What is this, skydiving or diving among sharks?
- No. This is worse,” Sese waved his hand. - The more strength a person has, the more pleasure his vices give him. Magic allows a person to open access to power, and if he does not change, if he does not try to plug the drains in his pool of energy with a plug of will, he inevitably nurtures his vicious side until it leads to his destruction. You know, there are smart people who say: “Magic is very useful. Let me teach you how to take various useful things from magic. I will teach you how to get what you want, win on the stock exchange or bewitch people.” They're basically saying, "Stay in your life, appreciate what you're used to, and get what you don't deserve." These magicians are criminals. In our world they are punished mercilessly. If you take the path of a magician, you will no longer be able to say: “I can’t do this because... I’m not ready for this yet...”
Road Dust sat thoughtfully, resting his head in his hands. Finally, he looked up at Sese.
- Yes, I make excuses, like all people. You know, I modern man I would not call it “a reasonable man”, but “a man who justifies himself.” People make decisions not with reason, but with emotions, desires, and motives. They need reason later to explain to others why they made such a well-founded and wise decision. The main function of reason is to justify the unreasonableness and insignificance of their lives. My mind is not helping me change my life. I know everything, but I do nothing.
“Yes, you correctly noticed one of the differences between the sons and servants of God,” Sese grinned, “Your spirit serves the body, and our body serves the spirit.” Get off your couch, bandage your wound, and maybe I can help you.

Couch Warrior – special kind classes. Fans of antiquity may argue that if sofas arose quite recently (around the 16th century), then sofa warriors are a product of modernity, which has not come up with anything good. However, the very definition of “couch warrior” is new; in ancient times, this special caste of spiritual warriors was content with whatever they had: hay, straw or a pile of skins.

Our seminar will help you become a real armchair warrior - a defender of the Earth and humanity from invisible threats. The purpose of the armchair warrior or, as they otherwise say, kshatri-chara is to protect humanity from invisible threats. It is only thanks to armchair warriors that we have not yet been enslaved by aliens, constantly scurrying back and forth on their plates. Kshatri-charas have many merits. Who do you think is keeping the world government from complete enslavement? masses? Yes, if it weren’t for armchair warriors, we would have long ago walked along the lines drawn on the roads and been afraid to say superfluous word, even lying at home under the covers. Kshatri charms deprive the power of dark magicians and dispel negative entities, precisely thanks to these wonderful people there is so much goodness and justice in the world. And the world itself would have long been destroyed by God (from any denomination), if not for the mighty armchair warriors.

You can join this wonderful brotherhood at our seminar. The seminar will be held in three stages, after successful completion of which you will become one of the Kshatri Charas.

First stage- pumping up knowledge. Here you have to choose a specialization. Many armchair warriors go to fight the world government. Here you will find out what forces rule the powers of the world, and what goals they pursue. Lately More and more novice armchair warriors are joining the green squad of “combat vegans.” The fight against meat-eaters is sacred, and as long as cattle breeding flourishes in the world, not one of the kshatri-charas of the green detachment will calm down. There are many specializations of armchair warriors: here you have witch hunters, fighters against demons, aliens, there is even a detachment of “opposing the Antichrist” and “waking in the Kali Yuga.” Choose one for yourself and move on to the second stage.

Second phase– pumping up muladhara. This chakra in krashtri-chars is responsible for communication with the sofa. The larger the muladhara, the stronger the connection. At our seminar we will tell you how to pump muladhara with energy so that it grows to unprecedented sizes.

Last, final stage It's called "Be in the flow." An armchair warrior who does not feel the support of his fellow men, who does not feel that his struggle is needed by the world, gives up very quickly. Therefore, our task is to ensure that you “get into the flow” as much as possible. Introduce the right people, give the correct pointers, register on forums - this is how we can help a beginner kshatri-char. A little later, you will gain experience and be able to independently wage a sofa war, but this time your own, special one.

We decided to also write about husbands so that no one would be offended. Husbands often behave more honestly than wives: they are too lazy to pretend, and they prefer to remain themselves after the wedding, sometimes, however, cultivating and nurturing their own worst qualities: laziness, tendency to manipulate, addiction to alcohol, and so on. However, some wives (especially workaholics and safe havens) can work miracles and re-educate their husbands so that they become different from themselves.

Stone wall

Reliable, smart and assertive. He knows how to get his way, even if the girl is not particularly interested in him. Stone wall she looks after you beautifully and spares no expense on bouquets, sweets and cute little things, even very expensive ones. Often he chooses girls younger than himself, but he can get along with any type of wife (perhaps, except for a housewife).

Stone wall - a handy man. Everything in his hands is burning and arguing. He manages to go to the gym, build a summer house, a bathhouse, teach his children to drive, cook, and give surprises to the family. Gold, not a husband. Unfortunately, it is rare now.

Depressive type

The depressed type is usually young and tattooed, wears a beard and glasses, and smokes a lot. She closely monitors her style and works in the creative field - design, journalism, advertising, music, art. Being his wife is hard work if she herself is not the same “thing in herself.” If so, then this is a great couple: they listen to Lil Peep together, get tattoos, go to exhibitions and drink red in the kitchen. The depressed type is unlikely to get along with others: his mental organization is too delicate. If you wean him from playing "Tanks" and guide him hidden aggression in a different direction, some good may come out of it.

Couch Warrior

He is not interested in his own appearance, the well-being of his home, or the contents of his wallet. He is as poor as a church mouse, but he is happy with everything. Favorite hobby sofa warrior - lie on the sofa in front of the TV and simultaneously comment on all the posts on your Facebook feed. He doesn’t like the state of the roads in his city, fires in California, Putin, Navalny, political prisoners, LGBT, it’s unclear writing people and a ton more. The sofa guy probably only likes chicks. He also comments on their photos, despite the fact that his wife is also on Facebook and sees all this. However, she is mainly busy with cooking or cleaning, because, as a rule, only housekeepers can live with a couch warrior.

Child

There is definitely no need to have children with such a husband: he married with the expectation that his wife would take care of him in the same way as his mother. The child is sweet, has a sense of humor and charisma, and knows how to win over. He has a disarming smile and a sea of ​​friends with whom he often likes to party. He doesn’t like to take his wife to parties - she ruins all the fun for him. The child either works in some minor position, such as a manager at Tekhnosila, or he manages to turn his hobby into a profitable job. These are often chosen by workaholics and quiet havens.

Gigolo

Gigolo is an alpha male. He knows that he is irresistible, and he needs his wife more for entourage. Usually a gigolo marries early, gets divorced quickly, and then marries again. A gigolo likes to invest money in his appearance and car, but he doesn’t skimp on his wife either - she must match. True, the gigolo has a very high bar, which not every one corresponds to. So that she plays sports, doesn’t leave the spa, and earns good money - that’s a super-woman, no? In general, wives often cannot stand the nagging and betrayal of gigolos and leave. Then their husbands cry crocodile tears - gigolos do this best of all.

I will become strong, brave, dexterous
Through a glass of vodka.
I will defeat cruel enemies
Just one click of a button.

In the middle of the sofa ridges
I'm terrible! And I have no equal
IN strategic thinking,
Like a god I lead a battle.

After all, the enemy is stupid as a plug!
Hey wife! Where's the vodka?!
The warrior is overcome with thirst,
Jumps proudly among the pillows.

Well, what is stormy, swaying,
Is he twisting his tongue into a knot?! –
So try it yourself from the couch
Remove all enemies from the screen!

Sergey Anikin

Sofa, my sweet sofa!!!
Oh, how soft is your lining!
You won't push me away when I'm drunk,
You can't blame it for having a hole in the back...

I'll come at night or during the day -
You will creak with tender delight,
And after hard difficult days
You serve me as a gentle reward...

The velvet of your shoulders is beautiful,
Your broad nature
I'm happy to lie down on you,
You will never look frowning...

I'll walk over you with a brush,
I'll freshen it up with deodorant...
Sofa, my devoted sofa,
Oh, how I love you!

A warrior does not avenge the fallen,
And protect the living.
Heaven will punish the killers
Warrior - you are not one of them!

The mind is intoxicated by revenge,
Evil is a relative.
And the mind will burn and honor,
In us, from her fire.

The one who succumbs to revenge
He will become a killer himself.
There will be retribution for everything,
To all of us for our There.

There - beyond the borders of life,
Where the king and the slave are equal.
The judgment of the Higher powers awaits us all,
All of us are not without guilt.

Revenge does not bring back the fallen,
Warrior, save the living!
So that our world can live on,
Life, don't let me kill!
Markovtsev Yu.

The warrior of light never retreats from battle.
First the fight-
One for two
Then he rests.

"One man in a field is not a warrior" -
So says wisdom!
When we left the two
This is no longer a problem!

They fight back to back,
Their rears are closed.
Two as one, one as two
And nothing is hidden from them.

If you fell, a friend gave you a hand,
Let the wound hurt no less.
But if you are not one, but two -
There are fewer enemies!

"Warrior of light, kshatriya, hero,
You were lost by the slobbering philistine crowd
And a proud look, and correct speeches not needed here
They don't like you with your solar power.
And you went to the great power that is above, called
Where the sun and steel live in the same rhythm..."

Warrior
Crystal gaze beautiful eyes
He doesn’t see, even if he looks at us,
The cold light is merciless
But the look is open, there is no doubt.
You despised your old feelings,
Gave up my old dream
You decided to go, as if in delirium,
Of all the roads you chose the one
Where is the light and shadow, merging like this
Darkness has formed in my soul
Where there are countless bloody harvests,
Where there is a series of gloomy feasts.
But you walk and your step is steady,
And the steel of the blade pierces the darkness
And here is the silhouette beyond,
The darkness has melted, you are no longer there.

Get up from your knees
Throw off the chains of shackles,
Feel it in your hands
again the power of the Gods

Forget what happened
And remember one thing -
Freedom and Honor
Now the credo is yours

You are a warrior of freedom and honor
There is no fear in the burning eyes
You are a warrior of freedom and honor
You light a fire in hearts

Take the sword in your hands
Pray to the gods
Get on your horse
And fight your enemies

In a bloody battle
Save your land
Your credo
Carry through the blood

You are a warrior of freedom and honor
You only inspire fear in your enemies
You are a warrior of freedom and honor
Left them...