What to bring to the funeral 1 year. Organization of a memorial meal

Funeral words

reflection of grief and pain of loss

The death of loved ones, relatives, and friends is always a sad and tragic event in the life of every person. At such moments, it can be difficult to find the right words to express all the sorrow and pain. How can you say that the deceased was dear? That he was the most wonderful person? Clearly and clearly articulate his best qualities without going too far? A funeral speech at a funeral is a text that is pronounced not from a piece of paper, but from the heart.

Funeral speech - sample

First you need to say your name. Not everyone present at a funeral or wake knows you. It should be remembered that long, vague, expansive phrases are suitable for political debates, but not for funeral speeches. You should speak briefly and to the point. So, examples of speech at a wake:

He was a true professional in his field, a Specialist with a capital S. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of their craft from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and responsive, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, advise something, help out, and never refused anyone’s requests. He could perfectly lift the spirits of anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. The countless funny stories, toasts, jokes and anecdotes he told could amuse anyone. We will all greatly miss him at our dinner gatherings and corporate events, where he invariably shone at the table, lifting our morale. There is no other person like him in our team. And maybe in my memory it will no longer be

We will all miss him greatly. Until the end of his life, he will remain in my memory and the memory of all our colleagues as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism!

Rest in peace, dear colleague!”

“My grandmother was a wonderful person with a difficult but interesting life. She, along with her three younger brothers and sister, were raised by her mother alone during the difficult post-war years. To say that they lived poorly then would be an understatement. She had to endure many difficulties and hardships, but she never lost her optimism and presence of mind, constantly helping her mother and taking care of the younger members of the family. And later, having married her military grandfather, she steadfastly endured all the hardships of service. In any circumstances, she always maintained exemplary order at home and taught all family members to do so. Grandma was sometimes strict, but fair. I am glad that I managed to learn from her neatness and order, the ability to organize my life. And her famous apple pies were simply incomparable, no one else could do them!

I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever."

How to choose the right words?

Based on the examples presented above, several basic rules can be identified:

It is best to address the audience in the introduction. For example: “Dear friends and family of our beloved (name) ....”
It is necessary to introduce yourself. What does it have to do with not only the name, but also the degree of your acquaintance, relationship: “My name is Alexey, (name) and I have been close friends (colleagues) for many (you can be more specific) years.”
It would not be amiss to say a few words about your own experiences, about the pain that the announcement of death caused.
The following words characterize the deceased. Here it is important to remember the old Russian proverb, which perfectly indicates what they say at funerals: “It’s either good or nothing about the dead.”
In conclusion, condolences or standard, but still relevant memorial words are said: “May he rest in peace,” “Rest in peace,” and so on.

In general, we note that the speech at the wake differs from the one pronounced directly at the funeral. So, at the moment of farewell it is customary to speak very briefly. Here, words of condolences are mainly spoken to the relatives of the deceased.

The funeral speech on the day of the funeral should under no circumstances be a memorized text. A few words from the heart, imbued with sincere empathy, would be more appropriate. In the first days, the relatives of the deceased are unable to perceive reality. The grief they have suffered is too hard for them, so their feelings should be respected.

Memorial words for 40 days, for an anniversary can be more intense. Here they often remember the best about the deceased. But even after time, one should not remember insults, disagreements and quarrels. If you can’t overcome this in yourself, the best thing to do is to remain silent or limit yourself to a couple of standard phrases.

Funeral poems

It was already indicated above that poetry would be extremely inappropriate at a funeral. A memorial speech for 40 days, 1 year may contain a small poetic inclusion. These could be the words of great poets or lines from an epitaph. Memorial poems for the anniversary of death mostly contain warm words that can be attributed to the personality of the deceased, and to a lesser extent condolences and bitterness. Examples include:

When parents leave
The light in the window fades forever.
Father's house is empty and maybe
I dream much more often.
* * *
We know you can't be brought back
Your deeds are an eternal memory,
And only your pure soul is with us,
You illuminate our life's path.

* * *
Sleep, my angel, peacefully and sweetly.
Eternity will take you into its arms.
You held yourself with dignity and steadfastness
Survived these hellish torments.
* * *
On this day full of heartache,
We sympathize with your misfortune,
Our life, unfortunately, is not eternal,
Every day we are getting closer to the line...
Our condolences... Strength of spirit
We wish you at this moment,
May the earth rest in peace to those close to you,
May the Almighty protect you from troubles.
* * *
When you left, the light went dark,
And time suddenly stopped.
And they wanted to live together forever...
Well, why did this all happen?!
* * *
May your sleep be serene
No one will ever disturb you,
Nothing can break it
Oblivion of eternal peace.
* * *
Thank you, dear, for being in the world!
Thank you for loving me.
For all the years that we lived together.
I ask you not to forget me.
* * *
We remember, dear, and mourn,
The wind blows coldly on my heart.
We love you forever,
No one will replace you for us.
* * *
How we loved - only the Gods know.
Only we knew how we suffered.
After all, we went through all the hardships with you,
But we could not step over death...
* * *
In this vicious circle - no matter what -
It will not be possible to find the end and the beginning.
Our role in this world is to come and go.
Who will tell us about the goal, about the meaning of the path?

* * *
There are no, Lord, sins and atrocities
Above Thy mercy!
Slave/slave of the earth and vain desires
Forgive the sins for his/her sorrows!

What was his life like? - Heavy sleep.
What is death? - Awakening from terrible dreams.
Woke up, he smiled -
And again, maybe the dream began there.
* * *
You left and it immediately began to snow.
May you have a good time there.
Let him cover himself with a soft white blanket
The land where you are no longer there...
* * *
Without chasing meaningless fame,
Keeping love in your heart,
He left, but managed to leave us
Eternal music bright motive
* * *
This order is unshakable.
The passage of time is eternal.
Let it be quiet and sweet
Your peaceful sleep!

Funeral poems are published in the newspaper as condolences. Words at the wake should not contain ambiguous phrases. Extremely clear and understandable lines for all those present will be the most appropriate and correct.

Funeral toasts

The funeral usually ends with a memorial dinner. While at such a table, you must follow the rules of mourning etiquette. It is not allowed to talk loudly or laugh. You should not interrupt the person making a speech at the wake. Often at the table, speech takes the form of a toast. Funeral toasts at a wake are significantly different from ordinary ones. They do not contain a call for fun, but once again emphasize the bitterness and pain of loss.

They sit in the next world, in Paradise, souls at the table, talking, drinking, pouring more. One overturned his jug, but it was empty. “That’s it,” he said, “I’ve been forgotten on Earth.” So let’s drink so that the jugs of our departed loved ones do not become empty!

Blessed memory of those who have left us, Let us drink to this now. May our hearts, like granite, preserve the memory of loved ones who have passed away. Let all the good things that happened to them not be buried in a damp grave. As long as we preserve our memories, they will live with us for as long.

Toasts at a wake can be pronounced in poetic form:

The philosopher knew that everything has its time,
Fate cannot be deceived:
The poet has been lonely for centuries -
May the glorious one be completed...

There is no water in the funeral cup!
Let's not grieve:
The midnight star will rise -
We will meet again!

Let it pour from the righteous peaks,
Before the days are gone,
The melody of your soul -
Why be sad about her?

Christian wake

One of the most widespread religions is Orthodoxy. Orthodox funerals differ significantly from secular ones. So, for example, speeches at funerals are practically not spoken for 40 days, 1 year. Christians gather at the table these days and pray together for the soul of the deceased. It is also customary these days to go to church and submit memorial notes, a sample of which can be seen in the church shop.

Every person comes into this world to fulfill his destiny. But the time comes when you have to leave the earthly world and go to eternity. gives life, and he takes it away. In Orthodoxy there are basic customs and traditions on how to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death.

Wake. History of the ritual

A ritual such as a wake is carried out by the relatives of the deceased. It arose a long time ago on the basis of Christianity. Moreover, it combined several rituals from several religions. However, this rite can only be performed on those who have been baptized. The Church does not pray for those who have taken their own lives, the unbaptized, and people of other religions.

Orthodox Christians hold funeral services 3 times: on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after death. The basis of this ritual is as follows:

Relatives or friends are preparing a funeral table.
Everyone who knew the deceased is welcome to come and take a place at the table.
They eat and remember the deceased with good words, and tell interesting incidents from his life.
The remaining food is distributed to all guests so that they still think about the deceased.

For 40 days after death, the soul is in search and ignorance. For the first 3 days, she visits all her native and familiar places, being close to those who were close during life. Until the 9th day, he gets acquainted with places called paradise. And until the 40th day he sees the suffering of people who are in hell.

On the 40th day, God’s court pronounces a verdict on where a person’s soul should find peace. The anniversary of death is considered the beginning of this eternal life.

The most dear people are invited to the anniversary. They try to call those whom the deceased would like to see during his lifetime. Preparation for the meal begins in advance.

How to prepare a funeral meal

First of all, you need to determine what day the anniversary of the death falls on. If it is a day of fasting, it is necessary to prepare meatless dishes. If it’s a normal day, you can include in the menu those dishes that the deceased loved. It is prohibited to place any alcoholic beverages on the table.

You definitely need to prepare kutya and consecrate it in the church. As a rule, Orthodox Christians prepare it from rice or wheat with raisins.

Much attention is paid to table setting. Everything should be modest; forks are not placed on the table on Memorial Day. An even number of guests are seated at the table, and the same number of cutlery is placed.

But the main point is reading prayers and saying kind words about the deceased. You need to light a candle or lamp, put a photograph in a mourning frame.

For the deceased, a glass of water is placed on the table, which is covered with a piece of bread, a spoon and a small cup of salt are placed next to it.

Visit to the cemetery

Before sitting down to the table, you must visit the grave of the deceased. If for some reason this cannot be done on the day of the funeral, you can come to the cemetery on another day. Just be sure to arrive at the burial site before noon.

You should take a candle with you, which you need to put and light in a special glass. Flowers will not be out of place: fresh or artificial, depending on the time of year. According to pagan rituals, many people bring food with them, leaving candy or what the deceased loved on the grave: apples, cigarettes, pies.

True believers remember the deceased only with prayers and the laying of fresh flowers.

The Christian faith believes that memory can only be honored through prayer. In this case, even the most serious sins can be forgiven. Therefore, you need to order a Memorial Service in the church. You can also order Sorokoust about the deceased, which will be recited for 40 days, 6 months or a whole year.

Be sure to light a candle for the repose of your soul. You can invite a priest to the grave, who will read the akafest and perform a litia.

Is the deceased remembered on his birthday?

In some families, it is customary to remember the deceased on the day he would have had a birthday. Is it correct? According to ancient beliefs, the birthday of the deceased ceased to have any meaning, since now the date of death is the date of birth of a new life. Therefore, our ancestors did not remember this day and did not go to the cemetery.

The priests believe that they can commemorate him at any time, including on his birthday on earth. Only this remembrance should occur in prayers and thoughts about the deceased.

How to remember a deceased person on the anniversary of his death if he voluntarily passed away or was unbaptized? The answer can be found in the letter of the Apostle Paul to the Colossians, who says that for God everyone is equal. Therefore, no matter how a person died, at least close people should remember him on his anniversary. After all, only prayers will help him cleanse himself from the sins of worldly life.

In the year after a person’s death, it is believed that the soul of the deceased has already found peace. During the year that has passed since the death of a person, it is believed that his soul has reunited with the souls of his ancestors and now all the deceased can be remembered. According to Christian customs, there are special parental days (radonitsa), when all the deceased are remembered.

Important!!!

On the day that marks a year after the death of a person, loved ones and relatives visit the grave of the deceased in the morning and order a funeral service in the church.

According to Christian customs, only fresh flowers and wreaths made from them are placed on the grave. The tradition of decorating a grave with fresh flowers dates back to the ancient Romans, who brought bouquets of fresh flowers to the graves of their ancestors in May. In Russia in 1889, the Synod of the Orthodox Church banned the use of wreaths and inscriptions on them at funerals conducted according to Christian customs. The ban was explained by the fact that all these flower wreaths distract believers from the main activity at a funeral - prayer for the salvation of the soul of the deceased. The ban has outlived its usefulness to this day. Today, it is traditional to place fresh flowers and wreaths on the grave, believing that a person, like a flower, never dies without a trace and is granted resurrection and eternal life, since the human soul is immortal.

Monument

On the anniversary, a monument is usually erected on the grave with a short epitaph for the deceased. After a prayer service is served in the church, relatives go to the cemetery, where they decorate the grave with flowers and burn funeral candles. All those present are invited to a memorial dinner, which can be organized at home or in a cafe.

What is the difference between a wake on the anniversary of a death and a wake immediately after the funeral?

The difference is that on the anniversary, a monument is erected on the grave and it is believed that the soul of the deceased has already found peace.

The meaning of the wake

The funeral lunch menu traditionally includes kutia, pancakes and eggs. Of the remaining dishes, the most familiar ones and those that the deceased loved are served. Do not overload the table with excesses in the form of caviar and huge cakes. They drink alcohol without clinking glasses, only one glass of vodka to commemorate their souls. Wine and other alcoholic drinks are not served.

People say that a person dies when the people who loved him during his lifetime stop talking and remembering him. Preserving the fond memory of a close relative is a task that must be understood and accepted, regardless of the transience of our time and the pain of loss. Love and gratitude for all good deeds are difficult to express in words, and in order to properly honor the memory of the deceased, it is necessary to understand why and how a memorial service is organized in his honor.

When should a funeral be held?

It is traditional to hold a wake immediately after the funeral, on the ninth and 40th day, as well as on the anniversary. The belief says that during the first nine days after death, the soul of the deceased is in heaven, and then goes to heaven to appear before the Lord God. This date is also dedicated to the nine “ranks of angels.” Funerals on the 40th day allow, through universal prayer, to atone for the sins that the deceased managed to commit during his life. The date itself, the fortieth day, personifies the ascension of Jesus Christ to heaven after the resurrection. The next day when it is customary to honor the memory of the deceased is the anniversary of his death. Only the closest people come to the meal on this day, remembering how he lived and everything connected with the earthly life of the deceased. Christian believers also celebrate the birthday and day of the angel of the deceased. If relatives are determined to hold prayers, then a memorial service can be held either a few months or six months after the death.

Visit to the cemetery

The first duty on the day of the funeral is to visit the grave of the deceased. This is done both before and after the meal. Fresh flowers are brought to the grave and the grave is decorated with artificial wreaths and baskets. If the rules allow, you can plant a small tree. Plants at the burial site are symbols of eternal life.

On days of special commemoration of the dead, you should clean up the nearby area, clean up the grave, clear the area of garbage, remove excess weeds, paint the fence or renew the cross.

In order for the soul of the deceased to find peace, the Orthodox faith provides for a special ritual - a meal. Before it begins, those present perform the rite of requiem - lithium. If this is not possible, you need to read the prayer: “Our Father”, Kathisma 17 or Psalm 90.

The funeral meal involves special serving and the presence of special food that corresponds to Orthodox traditions. The eating of food begins with the serving of kutya. Kutia is made from whole grains (rice, cereals), seasoned with honey and sweet raisins, as a symbol of the sweet afterlife, and also sprinkled with holy water. An obligatory element of the meal are pancakes - a ritual food that symbolizes earthly ideas about the afterlife and the sun. Next, it is necessary to serve the first courses: soup, borscht or cabbage soup, since since ancient times the funeral meal was arranged with the aim of feeding all the participants in the funeral, those who helped dig the grave, carry the coffin, prayed for the deceased and, of course, it was considered a sacred duty to feed the poor or give alms . It was also believed that common prayer during the funeral meal would ease the path of the deceased to the Kingdom of Heaven. It is considered a tradition to serve such dishes as jelly, fish (mainly herring), kulebyaki, vegetable and sausage cuts. After the funeral meal is over, cookies are distributed to everyone present.

During the meal, those present are prohibited from consuming alcoholic beverages. Unfortunately, many families ignore this rule, which is why unnecessary squabbles and showdowns that are not appropriate for such a significant event begin at the table.

Funeral etiquette

Even in those moments when it is very difficult to restrain yourself, it is necessary to follow the rules of etiquette. Their basis, first of all, is a dignified attitude towards the memory of the deceased person, respect for the feelings of loved ones. So, if you become a participant in a funeral procession or wake, you should not behave defiantly, laugh, make noise, or talk actively and very loudly. Don't wave your arms, don't jump, don't rejoice. Behave with restraint and calm. You cannot violate the order of speech that has developed, according to generally accepted mourning etiquette.

It is necessary to speak only positively about the deceased person. Do not insult other participants in the meal, do not enter into conflicts, or show aggression. You should not come to a wake without an invitation. At the table, sometimes, one empty place is left for the deceased. Next to him is usually placed his portrait, framed with a black ribbon. The first to leave the funeral meal should be the deceased's acquaintances, colleagues, and distant relatives. The last to leave the table are the closest friends and relatives.

According to the rules of mourning etiquette, a strict, classic, straight-cut, dark-colored suit would be appropriate for men. A light-colored shirt and tie are a good complement. It is allowed to have a dim and not too provocative pattern on the tie. A man should not wear a headdress. The exception is cases when it is necessary due to a particular religion. During the hot season, you are allowed to take off your jacket. As for representatives of the military service, it is acceptable to have a dark-colored dress uniform.

Women should wear a sober dress with a hem that covers the knees. The head must be covered; hats may only be removed indoors. A veil or scarf may be suitable. It is not advisable to wear any jewelry (with the exception of a wedding ring) in the form of earrings and chains to a funeral. Hair should be picked up, and the face should be free of bright makeup.

How to seat guests at the table?

Regardless of where the memorial ceremony takes place (in a banquet hall or at home), guests must be seated based on a certain principle. First of all, the closest relatives sit at the table, then those present are seated at the table according to the principle of kinship. Regarding the friends of the deceased, they are imprisoned according to seniority.

An Orthodox funeral is a complex ritual, the purpose of which is to honor the memory of a person who has passed away and to pray for his soul. Our funeral agency will help you organize a funeral at the highest level. Do not forget that remembering the deceased is our sacred duty.

Funeral speech at a funeral text - farewell words spoken in memory of the deceased by his family and friends. They are pronounced over the grave of the buried with all their hearts. The speaker talks about important and significant events associated with this person, his achievements, and also speaks on the good side about the character and personality of the deceased. It is advisable if he says this orally, and not reads it from a piece of paper.

Funeral speech

Quite a lot of people attend funerals and wakes. Mostly these are relatives and friends of the deceased, but there are others - colleagues, acquaintances, school friends and others. As a rule, the head of the family or the oldest and closest person is the first to pronounce the funeral words. If he is in a strong emotional state, then others present can speak at the wake.

Funeral speech example:

If others don’t know you well, then at the beginning of your speech you should introduce yourself and explain under what circumstances you met the deceased. The funeral speech should contain words of gratitude towards the deceased and reflect his positive qualities. You can mention any significant moment that occurred with the participation of the deceased.

Funeral words for 40 days:

“I’ll introduce myself for those who don’t know me: my name is (name). We have worked together with (name of deceased) for the past few years and I would like to say a few words in memory of him. He was a true professional in his field, a Specialist with a capital S. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of their craft from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and responsive, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, advise something, help out, and never refused anyone’s requests. He could perfectly lift the spirits of anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. The countless funny stories, toasts, jokes and anecdotes he told could amuse anyone. We will all greatly miss him at our dinner gatherings and corporate events, where he invariably shone at the table, lifting our morale. There is no other person like him in our team. And maybe it won’t be in my memory anymore. We will all miss him greatly. Until the end of his life, he will remain in my memory and the memory of all our colleagues as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism! Rest in peace, dear colleague!”

It is advisable if you prepare the words for the wake in advance and memorize them. Because a well-formulated text will sound good and be perceived by others. And sluggish, boring speech with hesitations can be regarded as disrespect for the deceased and his family. If you are afraid that you will forget the words, you can take with you a piece of paper with a sample of the funeral speech. You need to pronounce words clearly and slowly. You need to speak confidently and so that others can hear you, but not too loudly.

Speech at a wake examples

Funeral words on the anniversary of death (from a colleague):

"Friends! The deceased worked honestly at the (name) enterprise for more than twenty years. We all knew him as a decent, honest and modest person. They were valued for their skillful hands and reliable character. We will miss his many invisible but irreplaceable contributions to the work! The bright memory of him will remain in our hearts!”

Speech at the wake 1 year (from friends):

“Friends, the best of us has gone to another world. We are all deeply saddened. Our souls are bleeding from untimely loss. The deceased was a support to all of us. He was the first to help and did not wait for requests or complaints. His kind heart and wide soul were always open. He was a clear light and guide in a difficult and dangerous world for all of us, his friends! May the soul of this magnificent man rest in peace! We will always remember him with a feeling of light sadness mixed with secret melancholy!”

Memorial speech for 40 days (from relatives):

“All his life, our father was a worthy example not only to his children, but also to those around him. In everyday life, he demonstrated a wise understanding of true values, kindness and devotion. Any person left him with an enlightened soul. And to us, his children, our father instilled a love for people, a high sense of responsibility and devotion to the Motherland. We consider his departure unfairly early. Eternal, blessed memory to him!”

“Our grandfather was a very kind and good person. His path was long and difficult. He perceived all the difficulties that befell the country as his own. He worked and raised children without complaining about the lack of benefits, lack of food or amenities. He raised children and was a support for his grandchildren. This magnificent man will be greatly missed by all of us. May his memory be blessed!”

Words of condolences are expressed not only during funerals, but also on days of remembrance of the deceased. They say a speech at funerals 40 days later, a year from the date of death, as well as during Parents' Saturdays and other Orthodox holidays. Speeches can be made both at the cemetery and during funeral dinners.

What do they say at funerals? At this event, all deceased relatives and friends are remembered. They remember what they were like during life, what they were interested in, what they loved. Words of condolences are spoken and the blessed memory of the deceased is honored. It is forbidden to say anything bad about the deceased or to recall old grievances. It’s either good or nothing, says the popular saying.

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Funeral poems

In addition to the funeral speech, condolences can be expressed in poetry or toasts. These options are more suitable for a wake than for the funeral itself. For example, memorial poems are read on the anniversary of death. They can be written with your own hand or taken ready-made. If you do not have the opportunity to personally attend the wake, you can express your condolences by posting memorial poems in the newspaper.

***
Two tears fell into the flowers,
Two big, pink roses!
From my tormented soul
Hopeless tears rolled out!
They see my wet eyes
Something they don't believe in at all
What you can never change
What is measured with pain and tears!
My heart beats stubbornly
And desperately doesn't want to know
That you can no longer see your beloved eyes,
And you can no longer hug your dear ones!!!

***
You have always been an example to us,
As a person with a pure soul.
And the memory of you is alive
In the hearts and souls of your loved ones.

***
People close to us are leaving.
Do not realize that - forever,
Do not exhaust all the pain of separation,
And he hits backhand - never.

We won't see them, we won't hear them,
We won't ask, we won't talk,
Although, as before, we breathe them,
We love them, we wait for them, we adore them.

Ridiculous, strange, impossible,
That dawn has come again,
Call, scream or cry heart-rendingly,
And there are no more loved ones nearby.

***
We cannot understand or comprehend
Can't survive, can't overcome,
That the chariot of life circles,
As it was before, exactly the same.

The sun is shining and the air is so fresh,
What days it is, but it’s very sad.
Gone is the beautiful hope from hopes
And again my heart is sad and empty.
There has been silence in the apartment for six months now,
Everything there is yours and it’s hard to believe in it.
I would drink the cup of grief to the dregs,
But it still cannot be measured.
I really want to come to you again,
Kiss and just be with you.
With hope to resist in the fight,
Argue with illness and disease.
The further you go, the more immeasurable the depth
The abyss that has come between us
Like you now, like in childhood, I need you,
But it is impossible to beg with tears.
I'm strong, you know I can do it
After all, you and I have been through so much.
I am forever in your debt,
You are an eternal piece in my world.
I'll bring you flowers and stand
And the heart will touch with its wound.
And you will feel how much I love you
My beloved, only mother.

***
Memorial verses for 1 year:
You died too early
Words cannot express our pain.
Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound,
The memory of you is always alive.

***
We come here
To put flowers,
It’s very difficult, dear,
We can live without you.

***
The Great Tribulation cannot be measured,
Tears won't help my grief.
You are not with us, but forever
You will not die in our hearts.

***
Where do all the dreams go?
And why don't they return?
How we experience pain
After all, they were happy once.
Like waking up every day
Understand that this is all reality,
How painful it is to remember that day
When everything in life changed.

***
My soul is worried without you,
You don't need girlfriends or friends.
Why is it possible without millions?
Why is it impossible without one?

***
I don't rock you in your crib
I come again to the cold fence
I will fix the fallen wreath
And I will sing to you, dear son...

***
They usually leave without saying goodbye,
Without whispering my last words,
Perhaps without going on a long journey,
On that long road of dreams and dreams.
Just yesterday they smiled sweetly at us,
Their eyes emitted a bright light,
And as always, waiting for us to visit,
We dreamed of giving our friendly advice.
They, like all of us, really wanted to live,
And every moment brought them joy,
We didn’t have time to do everything we wanted to do,
They still had so much strength.
At some point, everything broke off,
Someone from above told them their deadline,
The soul rushed about in confusion,
That she didn’t even have time to tell us a few words.
Even if they are not with us, we love them,
And we remember joyful days,
And our heart will never forget them,
It’s as if they are somewhere nearby.

***
We are sad and sad
And there are no other feelings.
Let's remember all the parents,
Let's remember all our relatives!

Let's remember all those who have passed away,
In the prime of his life,
Brothers and sisters of the dead,
Friends and strangers!

They once lived
And they made us happy
Laughed and loved
They took care of us.

A long time ago or recently
They are no longer with us
And reverently to the grave
We bring a bouquet!

In fast-flowing time
We don’t remember other things,
But you are family to us
More than alive!

We ask You, Lord,
About mercy alone,
Forgive their sins, Lord,
May their souls rest!
***
Among those who love there is agreement
Among the lonely there is only pain
Among those deceived by love - revenge
And among the dead - memory and separation

***
Death took you away on a path of no return
And brought me beyond the boundaries of existence.
Here I dissolved in the quiet echo of the alarm
A life lived “in Russian” is yours.
And all that was in the heart before was pain and rage,
Dreams, hopes, faith and love -
In the space of space it suddenly invisibly disintegrated,
But maybe it will be reborn in someone again.
And there are white-trunked birches near the grave,
When the moon is silent in the night,
Tears and dew fall before the clear dawns of the earth,
That the mother's eyes did not drain to the bottom.

***
Your watch has stopped. how you didn’t want to leave!!!
But the heart has stopped beating, and we can’t bring you back,
You've been through a lot in your life,
War and famine, but you survived in spite of everyone.
Your clock ticks in your friends' houses, everyone loved you! you've always been lucky!
Giving life to your family’s watches, you poured your breath into them.
You lubricated their hearts and eased the hours of suffering.
But you couldn’t help yourself, and it’s useless to lubricate your heart.
I didn’t win this fight, I gave it all, I gave it all for free.
We gave you the warmth of our hearts, and we were always with you,
Our dear grandfather, father-in-law, father and father-in-law,
You were so afraid to be alone, you were so afraid to be with yourself.
But the black hag came to you, swinging her scythe and hitting you straight in the heart.
The clock has stopped, but the soul
Stayed with us, we are always with you, we are together.
February, frost, trees without leaves, and we haven’t learned to live without you.
You wanted to be with us so much, but alas
Your watch has stopped...

Funeral toasts

Funeral toasts at a wake are usually said at the table. They do not necessarily specify the identity of the deceased. You can express general condolences to all the deceased:

The grandfather sat in heaven and wept bitterly. A boy came up to him and asked why he was grieving. The old man answered him:
- There is a custom on earth - to drink for the repose of our souls. And then we are always full and with a full jug of wine. We are glad that the children remember us. And now I have an empty jug and that’s why I’m sad.
So let's drink to those who are not with us!

Friends, today is a day of sorrow. There was a time when we had fun and rejoiced with someone who left us. But today you and I drink this cup of sorrow ourselves, seeing off a person close to us on their last journey. Not everyone in the world was honored with the Dormition, like the Mother of God and other holy people. But we will keep in our hearts the good memory of our friend, having hope for resurrection and a new meeting in a new place. Let's drink to the dregs the wine of sadness!

In a wolf pack, the leader suddenly died without leaving a will. The wolves announced a meeting to elect a new leader. For three days they argued and squabbled, because each was afraid that the new leader would begin to take revenge on those who voted against him. When they were already hoarse from screaming, the old wise wolf stood up and said:
- Let's choose someone from outside our pack to be an impartial leader.
Everyone agreed and asked who. Then the wise old wolf suggested choosing a goat as leader. The wolves began to be indignant:
- We just didn’t have enough goats yet!
But the wise old wolf explained:
- Even though he is a goat, he has one advantage: if he starts causing chaos, he can always be bullied.
The wolves agreed with a laugh and called the goat. When they brought the goat trembling with fear, they said to him:
- Listen carefully! We will choose you as our leader if you don’t act like a jerk.
The goat became even more frightened and replied:
- I'm a goat. But I renounce my asshole past. I swear I will never be an asshole again.
The wolves made an approving noise and dedicated the goat to their leader.
“Now you are our leader,” said the old wise wolf. - You can order us whatever you want, and we will obey. Our fate is in your hands.
All the wolves, with their tails between their legs, nodded affirmatively and asked the goat to make a speech. The goat quickly jumped onto the rock, spread his legs wider, fluffed out his beard, stuck out his horns, looked around the silent flock with a slow gaze and bleated sternly:
- Well, which one of us is the goat?
So let's remember our glorious leaders!

Toasts at a wake can also be expressed in poetic form:

Blessed memory of those who have left us,
Let's drink to this now.
Let it be like granite in our hearts,
Preserves the memory of loved ones who have passed away.
Let all the good things that happened to them
A damp grave will not bury you.
No matter how long we keep the memory,
He will live with us for that long.

Funeral notes

You can also honor the memory of the deceased with the help of memorial notes. In churches there is a special table where there is a sample memorial note on which you can write it. A cross is placed at the very top of the sheet and marked “for repose.” Then the full names of the deceased are written in the genitive case and in church spelling (for example, Ivan - John), neatly and legibly. Usually about ten to fifteen names are written. Moreover, everyone who is written there must be baptized in the Orthodox Church.

In addition to the names, the note indicates which deceased person is: newly deceased - deceased for forty days after death or ever-memorable (worthy of constant remembrance) - deceased who has a memorable date on this day.

When going to a funeral or wake, it is important to remember etiquette. You need to behave delicately and tactfully. It is worth preparing words of condolences, which can be expressed through a funeral speech, memorial poems or toasts. An appropriate and competent speech will be appreciated with gratitude by the family and friends of the deceased.

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