Only the Universe and human stupidity are infinite. Although I have my doubts about the first one. (c) Albert Einstein

Surely, you had a moment in your life when you needed to draw seven red lines, which should be strictly perpendicular, and in addition, some needed to be drawn in green, and some more transparent?

As a rule, people set such tasks with a very serious expression on their faces. This is well illustrated in the following brilliant video, based on an equally brilliant story:

What to do if you find yourself in such a situation? We will not consider the “quit” option, although often this is the only simple and correct option.

More complex options that immediately come to mind are to take at least 80% of the prepayment, discuss every detail, write everything down on paper before implementation and approve it with the customer, make a prototype, etc. Sounds rational. But why does this almost never work?

The problem is that if a person is behaving irrationally, then none of the rational approaches will likely work.

In practice, this will mean that the prototype will be constantly reworked, the original requirements and approvals will be lost, and the next discussion will add more questions than it will answer.

- Are you dumb? What does gladiolus have to do with it? She's wearing a blue skirt. In the 16th century she would have been burned at the stake. They ask you why?.. That’s how you should answer - “Because gladiolus” (c) KVN team “Ural dumplings”

Most often, the cause of irrational behavior (in ordinary situations) is simple stupidity.

Is it necessary to argue with a fool? Most likely not, since during the discussion he will bring you down to his level, where he will win on his territory. What should be done?

First, you need to assess what will take more time - to do as asked or to prove that you are right? Once upon a time, I mainly chose the second option, but over time I realized that this was a waste of time, which often ended in the presence of a high HRV, but the absence of a customer.

Secondly, you need to try to translate all oral discussions into paper as much as possible - make a summary of meetings, record all agreements and compromises by email or in documentation. This, at a minimum, will force the person to be a little more responsible in what is said.

And finally, you need to estimate the amount of possible profits and losses in the event that you decide to complete the project in conditions of complete uncertainty and in the case when you decide in the middle of the project to terminate the contract without receiving payment. Sometimes it turns out that the second option is much more profitable.

How do you behave when you find yourself in an irrational situation?

Having worked for many years in the IT field, namely serving clients, solving their needs with phones, computers, home medical servers, video surveillance, I was faced with completely different tasks. Today a small note in the section humor just about clients, bosses and specialists who do everything.

It is not uncommon for clients to set tasks that are practically impossible to accomplish. Yes, precisely in the field of IT technologies there are practically no impossible tasks, but there are impossible tasks within certain limits. Eg:

• I want software for a media server based on AppleTV within a week. The software component must be written in AppleScript. The staff of programmers is 2, and they spend 80% of the time doing other, no less important things.
• Make video surveillance from five cameras for $100
• I want fast Internet outside the city, I don’t want to pay a lot for satellite Internet.

This request is best described by the video I found on the Internet. It has everything:

1. Management who cannot understand why the project cannot be implemented. Also, management puts pressure on the specialist because they think he is stupid.
2. A client who wants the impossible and insists on it, thinking, like management, that the specialist is stupid.
3. A specialist who is trying with all his might to convey to both the former and the latter that this is, in principle, impossible.

Enjoy watching.

For those who watched the video and noticed the actors’ performance, I can offer a design selection that supposedly solves the problems set out by the client.

In this version, everything is of course good, but not all lines are perpendicular to each other. There are parallel ones, but again, there is a funny kitten :)

In this version, it is not clear what is meant by “Transparent lines”. 3 lines are perpendicular to the other 4 lines. those. the condition that all lines are perpendicular to each other is not met. And as in the first option, there is no kitten :)

The solution is very interesting in its unconventionality, because the condition does not say that the lines should not bend. But there’s a problem with the green ones...

In my opinion, this is the best option. Much more beautiful and clearer than the previous one, and it seems that all the conditions have been met.

As always, I will be glad to hear your opinion in the comments.

Meeting or Seven Red Lines

Petrov came to the meeting on Tuesday. There they took out his brain, put it on plates and began to eat it, smacking their lips and generally expressing all sorts of approval. Petrov’s boss, Nedozaytsev, prudently distributed dessert spoons to those present. And so it began.

Colleagues,” says Morkoveva, “our organization is faced with a large-scale task. We have received a project for implementation in which we need to draw several red lines. Are you ready to take on this task?

Of course,” says Nedozaytsev. He is a director, and is always ready to shoulder a problem that someone from the team will have to bear. However, he immediately clarifies: “We can do this, right?”

The head of the drawing department, Sidoryakhin, nods hastily:

Yes of course. Here Petrov is sitting with us, he is our best specialist in the field of drawing red lines. We specifically invited him to the meeting so that he could express his competent opinion.

“Very nice,” says Morkoveva. - Well, you all know me. And this is Lenochka, she is a design specialist in our organization.

Helen covers herself with paint and smiles embarrassedly. She recently graduated from economics, and has the same relationship to design as the platypus has to designing airships.

So, says Morkoveva. - We need to draw seven red lines. All of them must be strictly perpendicular, and in addition, some need to be drawn in green, and others - transparent. Do you think this is real?

No, says Petrov.

Let’s not rush to answer, Petrov,” says Sidoryakhin. - The task has been set, and it needs to be solved. You're a professional, Petrov. Don't give us any reason to think that you are not a professional.

You see, Petrov explains, the term “red line” implies that the color of the line is red. Drawing a red line with green is not exactly impossible, but very close to impossible...

Petrov, what does “impossible” mean? - asks Sidoryahin.

I'm just outlining the situation. There may be people who are colorblind for whom the color of the line really wouldn't matter, but I'm not sure that the target audience for your project consists solely of such people.

That is, in principle, this is possible, do we understand you correctly, Petrov? - asks Morkoveva.

Petrov realizes that he has gone too far with imagery.

Let’s put it simply,” he says. - The line, as such, can be drawn in absolutely any color. But to make a red line, you should only use red.

Petrov, please don’t confuse us. You just said that this is possible.

Petrov silently curses his talkativeness.

No, you misunderstood me. I just wanted to say that in some extremely rare situations, the color of the line will not matter, but even then the line will still not be red. You see, it won’t be red! It will be green. And you need red.

There is a short silence, in which the quiet tense buzz of the synapses can be clearly heard.

“What if,” Nedozaytsev says, struck by an idea, “we draw them in blue?”

It won’t work anyway,” Petrov shakes his head. - If you draw in blue, you get blue lines.

Silence again. This time he is interrupted by Petrov himself.

And I still don't understand... What did you mean when you talked about transparent color lines?

Morkovyova looks at him condescendingly, like a kind teacher at a lagging student.

Well, how can I explain it to you?.. Petrov, don’t you know what “transparent” is?

And what is the “red line”, I hope you don’t need to explain either?

No, don't.

Here you go. You draw us red lines with a transparent color.

Petrov freezes for a second, thinking about the situation.

And what should the result look like, please describe it? How do you imagine that?

Well, Petro-o-ov! - says Sidoryahin. - Well, let's not... Do we have a kindergarten? Who is the red line specialist here, Morkoveva or you?

I'm just trying to clarify the details of the task for myself...

Well, what’s incomprehensible here?.. - Nedozaytsev interjects into the conversation. - You know what a red line is, right?

And what is “transparent”, do you also understand?

Of course, but...

So what should I explain to you? Petrov, let’s not descend into unproductive disputes. The task has been set, the task is clear and precise. If you have specific questions, please ask.

“You’re a professional,” adds Sidoryakhin.

Okay,” Petrov gives up. - God be with him, with color. But do you have something else with perpendicularity there?..

Yes,” Morkoveva readily confirms. - Seven lines, all strictly perpendicular.

Perpendicular to what? - Petrov clarifies.

Morkovyova begins to look through her papers.

Uh-uh,” she says finally. - Well, kind of... Everything. Between themselves. Well, or whatever... I don't know. I thought you knew what perpendicular lines there are,” she finally found it.

“Yes, of course he knows,” Sidoryakhin waves his hands. - Are we professionals here, or not professionals?..

Two lines can be perpendicular,” Petrov patiently explains. - All seven cannot be perpendicular to each other at the same time. This is geometry, 6th grade.

Morkovieva shakes her head, driving away the looming ghost of a long-forgotten school education. Nedozaytsev slams his hand on the table:

Petrov, let’s skip this: “6th grade, 6th grade.” Let's be mutually polite. Let's not make hints or descend into insults. Let's maintain a constructive dialogue. It's not idiots gathered here.

“I think so too,” says Sidoryakhin.

Petrov pulls a piece of paper towards him.

Okay, he says. - Let me draw it for you. Here's the line. So?

Morkovyova nods her head affirmatively.

Let’s draw another one... - says Petrov. - Is it perpendicular to the first one?

Yes, it is perpendicular.

Well, you see! - Morkoveva exclaims joyfully.

Wait, that's not all. Now let's draw the third... Is it perpendicular to the first line?..

Thoughtful silence. Without waiting for an answer, Petrov answers himself:

Yes, it is perpendicular to the first line. But it does not intersect with the second line. They are parallel to the second line.

There is silence. Then Morkovyova gets up from her seat and, rounding the table, comes in from behind Petrov, looking over his shoulder.

Well... - she says uncertainly. - Maybe yes.

That’s the point,” says Petrov, trying to consolidate the success achieved. - As long as there are two lines, they can be perpendicular. As soon as there are more of them...

Can I have a pen? - asks Morkoveva.

Petrov hands over the pen. Morkoveva carefully draws several uncertain lines.

And if so?..

Petrov sighs.

This is called a triangle. No, these are not perpendicular lines. Besides, there are three of them, not seven.

Morkoveva purses her lips.

Why are they blue? - Nedozaytsev suddenly asks.

Yes, by the way,” Sidoryakhin supports. - I wanted to ask myself.

Petrov blinks several times, looking at the drawing.

“My pen is blue,” he finally says. - I just wanted to demonstrate...

The same thing will happen,” Petrov says confidently.

Well, how about the same? - says Nedozaytsev. - How can you be sure if you haven't even tried? You draw red ones and we'll see.

“I don’t have a red pen with me,” Petrov admits. - But I can absolutely...

“Why weren’t you prepared,” Sidoryakhin says reproachfully. - We knew there would be a meeting...

“I can absolutely tell you,” Petrov says in despair, “that in red you will get exactly the same thing.”

“You yourself told us last time,” Sidoryakhin retorts, “that we need to draw red lines in red.” Well, I even wrote it down for myself. And you draw them yourself with a blue pen. What do you think these are, red lines?

By the way, yes,” notes Nedozaytsev. - I also asked you about the color blue. What did you answer me?

Petrov is suddenly saved by Lenochka, who studies his drawing with interest from her place.

“I think I understand,” she says. - You’re not talking about color now, are you? Are you talking about this one, what do you call it? Perper-something?

Perpendicularity of the lines, yes,” Petrov responds gratefully. - It has nothing to do with the color of the lines.

That’s it, you completely confused me,” says Nedozaytsev, looking from one meeting participant to another. - So what is our problem? With color or with perpendicularity?

Morkoveva makes confused sounds and shakes her head. She was confused too.

With both,” Petrov says quietly.

“I can’t understand anything,” says Nedozaytsev, looking at his clasped fingers. - Here is a task. You only need seven red lines. I understand that there would be twenty of them!.. But here there are only seven. The task is simple. Our customers want seven perpendicular lines. Right?

Morkoveva nods.

And Sidoryakhin doesn’t see the problem either,” says Nedozaytsev. - Am I right, Sidoryakhin?.. Well, there you go. So what is stopping us from completing the task?

Geometry,” Petrov says with a sigh.

Well, just don't pay attention to her, that's all! - says Morkoveva.

Petrov is silent, collecting his thoughts. In his brain, colorful metaphors are born one after another that would allow him to convey to those around him the surrealism of what is happening, but as luck would have it, all of them, when put into words, invariably begin with the word “Fuck!”, completely inappropriate within the framework of a business conversation.

Tired of waiting for an answer, Nedozaytsev says:

Petrov, will you answer simply - can you do it or can you not? I understand that you are a narrow specialist and do not see the big picture. But it’s not difficult to draw some seven lines? We've been discussing some nonsense for two hours now, but we can't come to a decision.

Yes, says Sidoryakhin. - You just criticize and say: “Impossible! Impossible!" You offer us your solution to the problem! Otherwise even a fool can criticize, pardon the expression. You're a professional!

Petrov wearily says:

Fine. Let me draw you two guaranteed perpendicular red lines, and the rest in a transparent color. They will be transparent and will not be visible, but I will draw them. Will this suit you?

Will this suit us? - Morkovyova turns to Lenochka. - Yes, it will suit us.

Just at least a couple more - in green,” adds Lenochka. - And I have another question, is it possible?

Can one line be drawn as a kitten?

Petrov is silent for a few seconds, and then asks again:

Well, in the form of a kitten. Kitten. Our users love animals. It would be great…

No, says Petrov.

And why?

No, of course I can draw you a cat. I'm not an artist, but I can try. Only it won’t be a line anymore. It will be a cat. A line and a cat are two different things.

“Kitten,” Morkoveva clarifies. - Not a cat, but a kitten, so small and cute. Cats, they...

“It doesn’t matter,” Petrov shakes his head.

Not at all, right?.. - Lenochka asks disappointedly.

Petrov, you should at least listen to the end,” Nedozaytsev says irritably. - You haven’t listened to the end, and already say “No.”

“I understood the idea,” Petrov says without looking up from the table. - It is impossible to draw a line in the shape of a kitten.

Well, there’s no need then,” Lenochka allows. - Can’t you get a bird too?

Petrov silently looks up at her and Lenochka understands everything.

Well, don’t do it then,” she repeats again.

Nedozaytsev slams his palm on the table.

So where are we? What are we doing?

“Seven red lines,” says Morkoveva. - Two are red, and two are green, and the rest are transparent. Yes? Did I understand correctly?

Yes,” Sidoryakhin confirms before Petrov can open his mouth.

Nedozaytsev nods with satisfaction.

That’s great... Well, that’s it then, colleagues?.. Are we parting ways?.. Are there any other questions?..

Oh,” Lenochka recalls. - We still have a red balloon! Tell me, can you fool him?

Yes, by the way,” says Morkoveva. - Let’s discuss this right away too, so we don’t have to meet twice.

Petrov,” Nedozaytsev turns to Petrov. - Can we do this?

What does the ball have to do with me? - Petrov asks in surprise.

“It’s red,” explains Lenochka.

Petrov is stupidly silent, trembling his fingertips.

Petrov,” Nedozaytsev asks nervously. - So can you do it or can’t you? It's a simple question.

Well,” Petrov says cautiously, “in principle, of course I can, but...

“Okay,” Nedozaytsev nods. - Go to them, cheat them. We will write out travel allowances, if necessary.

Tomorrow can be? - asks Morkoveva.

Of course,” Nedozaytsev answers. - I think there will be no problems... Well, now we have everything?.. Excellent. We worked productively... Thank you all and goodbye!

Petrov blinks several times to return to objective reality, then gets up and slowly walks towards the exit. At the very exit, Lenochka catches up with him.

Can I ask you one more thing? - Helen says, blushing. - When you inflate the balloon... Can you inflate it in the shape of a kitten?..

Petrov sighs.

“I can do anything,” he says. - I can do absolutely anything. I'm professional.

To clarify the conditions of the problem, I found the original text. The author turned out to be someone Alexey Berezin, a blogger. Everything would be fine, but there is one subtlety. There is one place in the original text that clearly indicates the author's intention:

“Two lines can be perpendicular,” Petrov explains patiently. - All seven cannot be perpendicular to each other at the same time. This is geometry, 6th grade."

That is, it was supposed that there would be seven straight lines, but the author used the word “line”. On purpose or through thoughtlessness, it doesn’t matter now; the task has lost most of its pathos and inadequacy. It would be forgivable if this were a clumsy translation from English, where line means both “line” and “straight”. The line may not be straight. But what's done is done.

And this gave rise to many formally correct, but ugly decisions.

I’ll just put a screenshot of the search engine results for the query “seven red lines.” As you can see, the quality of creativity is not the highest.

Let's define the TK as:

1. Seven straight red lines.

2. All these straight lines are mutually perpendicular

3. These two lines are green.

4. Three – transparent.

5. One of the straight lines in the shape of a cat (any).

I admit, my first thought was to use Lobachevsky geometry. There are quite a few such solutions. Here, look at what beautiful Scott Williamson offers on a looped ribbon.

And although he uses red paper in the solution, there are still questions for green and red. And with transparent red, too, not everything is as clear as we would like.

In the world we are familiar with, only three mutually perpendicular straight lines can be drawn. We need to come up with something that will allow us to carry out four more. The obvious assumption is that it is not necessary to limit yourself to three dimensions; more can be used. For example - seven. Then in seven-dimensional space the problem has a simple solution.

A little more complicated with the green color of the red lines. To do this, they must approach the observer with a certain speed sufficient for the Doppler effect to occur. A few formulas...

Let's take a simplified formula for speeds much less than the speed of light; we only need to estimate the order of magnitude.

v = cz

where z is the coefficient calculated by the formula

z = (λ - λ°) / λ

where λ is the wavelength of visible color, λ° is the wavelength of the original color.

Red color will have a wavelength of approximately 700 nm.

Green, respectively, 500 nm.

It turns out that the speed of approach will be approximately 0.3 of the speed of light. Theoretically, quite possible speed. Everything is fine here...

Further assumptions become more numerous. For the next three dimensions, in which the red (straight) lines are drawn, we assume that they do not interact in any way with electromagnetic radiation. Accordingly, the straight red lines in them will be invisible (transparent).

And the most important thing! Let one of the dimensions, which does not interact in any way with electromagnetic radiation, be projected into our three-dimensional world and its projection takes the form of a cat. But since it is invisible, the cat is also invisible. By analogy with Schrödinger’s cat, I propose to call it Morkoveva’s cat.

Finally, I would like to formalize all of the above in the form of a continuation of that same story:

“Remembering the last meeting, Petrov has been preparing for this for a long time. He now has something to say to every question and every objection.

“Colleagues,” Petrov looks at those gathered at the table, smiles and adjusts his glasses, “the task was close to unsolvable, almost on the very border of the impossible.”

Nedozaytsev looks at him with enthusiasm, Morkovyeva is skeptical, and Lenochka tries to understand why she is here again. Sidoryakhin is absent due to illness.

- But I managed to solve it! – says Petrov and looks triumphantly. The fire of madness shines in his gaze.

Helen suddenly hiccups and becomes cutely embarrassed.

Here! – Petrov solemnly shows the image.

Everyone is watching.

- But why are there only two of them? - Morkovyova is surprised, - it must be...

- No! - Petrov objects, - there are seven of them, in full accordance with your technical specifications.

- With which? – Morkovyeva leafs through the papers, it is clear that she no longer remembers exactly what happened with the task.

“With yours,” Petrov smiles, “seven red straight lines perpendicular to each other, two red, two green, three transparent and one in the shape of a cat.”

“Kitty, yes,” Lenochka smiles. She is pleased that her fantasy was remembered.

Nedozaytsev looks in surprise from the image to Morkoveva and back.

“The problem has a strict solution only in a multidimensional one...” Petrov begins.

“I don’t understand,” Nedozaytsev can’t stand it, “but why are there two of them?”

“Give us questions later,” says Petrov, “if you still have them, you can ask them at the end.”

“Yes, perhaps,” agrees Nedozaytsev. It is clear that he is unhappy.

- What you see is a projection of the solution to this problem in seven-dimensional space onto two-dimensional space. Just those two red straight lines that should be red.

“Great,” says Nedozaytsev, “but where are the rest?”

“The rest,” says Petrov, looking into the notebook, “we had to draw in dimensions that do not belong to our space and cannot always be in it even in the form of a projection, for example, those two red lines that are constantly approaching us with a speed of approximately 0 ,3 speed of light.

Morkovyova's eyes begin to move towards the bridge of her nose. Nedozaytsev looks around fearfully in search of approaching lines and spaces, and he shudders.

“For us, these red lines will look green,” says Petrov, “but can you imagine what will happen to our space when these dimensions get here?”

“No need to escalate,” Nedozaytsev shudders. He wants to say something else, but he can't.

“Then everything is simple,” says Petrov, “the next three red lines are drawn in dimensions that do not interact in any way with electromagnetic radiation.” Therefore, we cannot see them; they are absolutely transparent to us.

- And that is not all! - Petrov winks at Lenochka, one of these dimensions, projected into our dimension, takes the form of a cat. True, we can’t see it, so this is... yes, this is the idea of ​​​​the shape of a cat, the ideal implementation of the shape of a cat.

Helen smiles shyly.

“Ask questions,” says Petrov.

Nedozaytsev looks in bewilderment from Morkovyova to Lenochka and back. Morkovyova’s eyes narrowed to the bridge of her nose, Lenochka smiled shyly.

“If there are no questions, then I’m done,” Petrov nods slightly.”

(Meeting room)
“Colleagues,” says Nedozaytsev’s boss, Morkovieva, “our organization is faced with a large-scale task. We have received a project for implementation in which we need to draw several red lines. Are you ready to take on this task?

“Of course,” says Sidoryakhin’s boss Nedozaytsev. He is a director, and is always ready to shoulder a problem that someone from the team will have to bear. However, he immediately clarifies:

- We can do this, right?

Petrov’s boss Sidoryakhin nods hastily:

- Yes of course. Here Petrov is sitting with us, he is our best specialist in the field of drawing red lines. We specifically invited him to the meeting so that he could express his competent opinion.

“It’s very nice,” says Morkoveva. - Well, you all know me. And this is Lenochka, she is a design specialist in our organization.

Specialist Lenochka turns red and smiles embarrassedly. She recently graduated from economics, and has the same relationship to design as the platypus has to designing airships.

“So,” says Morkoveva. — We need to draw seven red lines. All of them must be strictly perpendicular, and in addition, some need to be drawn in green, and others - transparent. Do you think this is real?

“No,” says Petrov.

“Let’s not rush to answer, Petrov,” says Sidoryakhin. “The problem has been set, and it needs to be solved. You're a professional, Petrov. Don't give us any reason to think that you are not a professional.

“You see,” explains Petrov, “the term “red line” implies that the color of the line is red. Drawing a red line with green is not exactly impossible, but very close to impossible...

- Petrov, what does “impossible” mean? - asks Sidoryakhin.

- I'm just describing the situation. There may be people who are colorblind for whom the color of the line really wouldn't matter, but I'm not sure that the target audience for your project consists solely of such people.

- That is, in principle, this is possible, do we understand you correctly, Petrov? - asks Morkoveva.

Petrov realizes that he has gone too far with imagery.

“Let’s put it simply,” he says. — The line, as such, can be drawn in absolutely any color. But to make a red line, you should only use red.

- Petrov, don’t confuse us, please. You just said that this is possible.

Petrov silently curses his talkativeness.

- No, you misunderstood me. I just wanted to say that in some extremely rare situations, the color of the line will not matter, but even then, the line will still not be red. You see, it won’t be red! It will be green. And you need red.

There is a short silence, in which the quiet tense buzz of the synapses can be clearly heard.

“What if,” Nedozaytsev says, struck by an idea, “we draw them in blue?”

“It still won’t work,” Petrov shakes his head. - If you draw in blue, you get blue lines.

Silence again. This time he is interrupted by Petrov himself.

- And I still don’t understand... What did you mean when you talked about lines of transparent color?

Morkovyova looks at him condescendingly, like a kind teacher at a lagging student.

- Well, how can I explain it to you?.. Petrov, don’t you know what “transparent” is?

— And what is the “red line”, I hope you don’t need to explain it either?

- No, don't.

- Here you go. You draw us red lines with a transparent color.

Petrov freezes for a second, thinking about the situation.

— And what should the result look like, please describe it? How do you imagine that?

- Well, Petro-o-ov! - says Sidoryakhin. - Well, let's not... Do we have a kindergarten? Who is the red line specialist here, Morkoveva or you?

- I'm just trying to clarify the details of the task for myself...

“Well, what’s incomprehensible here?” Nedozaytsev interjects into the conversation. - You know what a red line is, right?

- Yes, but...

- And what is “transparent”, is it clear to you too?

- Of course, but...

- So what should I explain to you? Petrov, let’s not descend into unproductive disputes. The task has been set, the task is clear and precise. If you have specific questions, please ask.

“You’re a professional,” adds Sidoryakhin.

“Okay,” Petrov gives up. - God be with him, with color. But do you have something else with perpendicularity there?..

“Yes,” Morkoveva readily confirms. — Seven lines, all strictly perpendicular.

— Perpendicular to what? — Petrov clarifies.

Morkovyova begins to look through her papers.

“Uh-uh,” she says finally. - Well, kind of... Everything. Between themselves. Well, or whatever... I don't know. I thought you knew what perpendicular lines there are,” she finally found it.

“Yes, of course he knows,” Sidoryakhin waves his hands. —Are we professionals here, or not professionals?..

“Two lines can be perpendicular,” Petrov explains patiently. — All seven cannot be perpendicular to each other at the same time. This is geometry, 6th grade.

Morkovieva shakes her head, driving away the looming ghost of a long-forgotten school education. Nedozaytsev slams his hand on the table:

- Petrov, let’s skip this: “6th grade, 6th grade.” Let's be mutually polite. Let's not make hints or descend into insults. Let's maintain a constructive dialogue. It's not idiots gathered here.

“I think so too,” says Sidoryakhin.

Petrov pulls a piece of paper towards him.

“Okay,” he says. - Let me draw it for you. Here's the line. So?

Morkovyova nods her head affirmatively.

“We’re drawing another one...” says Petrov. — Is it perpendicular to the first one?

- Yes, it is perpendicular.

- Well, you see! - Morkoveva exclaims joyfully.

- Wait, that's not all. Now let's draw the third... Is it perpendicular to the first line?..

Thoughtful silence. Without waiting for an answer, Petrov answers himself:

- Yes, it is perpendicular to the first line. But it does not intersect with the second line. They are parallel to the second line.

There is silence. Then Morkovyova gets up from her seat and, rounding the table, comes in from behind Petrov, looking over his shoulder.

“Well...” she says hesitantly. - Maybe yes.

“That’s the point,” says Petrov, trying to consolidate the success achieved. — As long as there are two lines, they can be perpendicular. As soon as there are more of them...

- Can I have a pen? - asks Morkoveva.

Petrov hands over the pen. Morkoveva carefully draws several uncertain lines.

- And if so?..

Petrov sighs.

- It's called a triangle. No, these are not perpendicular lines. Besides, there are three of them, not seven.

Morkoveva purses her lips.

- Why are they blue? - Nedozaytsev suddenly asks.

“Yes, by the way,” Sidoryakhin supports. - I wanted to ask myself.

Petrov blinks several times, looking at the drawing.

“My pen is blue,” he finally says. - I just wanted to demonstrate...

“It will turn out the same,” Petrov says confidently.

- Well, how about the same? - says Nedozaytsev. - How can you be sure if you haven't even tried? You draw red ones and we'll see.

“I don’t have a red pen with me,” Petrov admits. - But I can absolutely...

“Why weren’t you prepared,” Sidoryakhin says reproachfully. - We knew there would be a meeting...

“I can absolutely tell you,” Petrov says in despair, “that in red it will turn out exactly the same.”

“You yourself told us last time,” Sidoryakhin retorts, “that you need to draw red lines in red.” Well, I even wrote it down for myself. And you draw them yourself with a blue pen. What do you think these are, red lines?

“By the way, yes,” notes Nedozaytsev. — I also asked you about the color blue. What did you answer me?

Petrov is suddenly saved by Lenochka, who studies his drawing with interest from her place.

“I think I understand,” she says. “You’re not talking about color now, are you?” Are you talking about this one, what do you call it? Perper-something?

“The lines are perpendicular, yes,” Petrov responds gratefully. — It has nothing to do with the color of the lines.

“That’s it, you’ve completely confused me,” says Nedozaytsev, looking from one meeting participant to another. - So what is our problem? With color or with perpendicularity?

Morkoveva makes confused sounds and shakes her head. She was confused too.

“With both,” Petrov says quietly.

“I can’t understand anything,” says Nedozaytsev, looking at his clasped fingers. - Here is a task. You only need seven red lines. I understand that there would be twenty of them!.. But here there are only seven. The task is simple. Our customers want seven perpendicular lines. Right?

Morkoveva nods.

“And Sidoryakhin doesn’t see the problem either,” says Nedozaytsev. - Am I right, Sidoryakhin?.. Well, there you go. So what is stopping us from completing the task?

“Geometry,” Petrov says with a sigh.

- Well, just don’t pay attention to her, that’s all! - says Morkoveva.

Petrov is silent, collecting his thoughts. In his brain, colorful metaphors are born one after another, which would allow him to convey to those around him the surrealism of what is happening, but as luck would have it, all of them, put into words, invariably begin with an obscene word, completely inappropriate within the framework of a business conversation.

Tired of waiting for an answer, Nedozaytsev says:

- Petrov, will you answer simply - can you do it or you can’t? I understand that you are a narrow specialist and do not see the big picture. But it’s not difficult to draw some seven lines? We've been discussing some nonsense for two hours now, but we can't come to a decision.

“Yes,” says Sidoryakhin. “You just criticize and say: “Impossible!” Impossible!" You offer us your solution to the problem! Otherwise even a fool can criticize, pardon the expression. You're a professional!

Petrov wearily says:

- Fine. Let me draw you two guaranteed perpendicular red lines, and the rest in a transparent color. They will be transparent and will not be visible, but I will draw them. Will this suit you?

- Will this suit us? - Morkovyova turns to Lenochka. - Yes, it will suit us.

“Just at least a couple more - in green,” adds Lenochka. - And I have another question, is it possible?

—Can one line be depicted as a kitten?

Petrov is silent for a few seconds, and then asks again:

- Well, in the form of a kitten. Kitten. Our users love animals. It would be great…

“No,” says Petrov.

- And why?

- No, of course I can draw you a cat. I'm not an artist, but I can try. Only it won’t be a line anymore. It will be a cat. A line and a cat are two different things.

“Kitten,” Morkoveva clarifies. - Not a cat, but a kitten, so small and cute. Cats, they...

“It doesn’t matter,” Petrov shakes his head.

“Not at all, huh?..,” Lenochka asks disappointedly.

“Petrov, you should at least listen to the end,” Nedozaytsev says irritably. - You haven’t listened to the end, and already say “No.”

“I get the idea,” Petrov says without looking up from the table. — It is impossible to draw a line in the shape of a kitten.

“Well, there’s no need then,” Lenochka allows. “Won’t you get a bird too?”

Petrov silently looks up at her and Lenochka understands everything.

“Well, don’t do it then,” she repeats again.

Nedozaytsev slams his palm on the table.

- So where are we? What are we doing?

“Seven red lines,” says Morkoveva. — Two are red, and two are green, and the rest are transparent. Yes? Did I understand correctly?

“Yes,” confirms Sidoryakhin before Petrov can open his mouth.

Nedozaytsev nods with satisfaction.

- That’s great... Well, that’s it then, colleagues?.. Are we parting ways?.. Are there any other questions?..

“Oh,” Lenochka recalls. - We still have a red balloon! Tell me, can you fool him?

“Yes, by the way,” says Morkoveva. “Let’s discuss this right away too, so we don’t have to meet twice.”

“Petrov,” Nedozaytsev turns to Petrov. -Can we do this?

- What does the ball have to do with me? - Petrov asks in surprise.

“It’s red,” explains Lenochka.

Petrov is stupidly silent, trembling his fingertips.

“Petrov,” Nedozaytsev asks nervously. - So can you do it or can’t you? It's a simple question.

“Well,” Petrov says cautiously, “in principle, of course I can, but...

“Okay,” Nedozaytsev nods. - Go to them, cheat them. We will write out travel allowances, if necessary.

- Tomorrow can be? - asks Morkoveva.

“Of course,” Nedozaytsev answers. - I think there will be no problems... Well, now we have everything?.. Great. We worked productively... Thank you all and goodbye!

Petrov blinks several times to return to objective reality, then gets up and slowly walks towards the exit. At the very exit, Lenochka catches up with him.

- Can I ask you one more thing? - Helen says, blushing. - When you inflate the balloon... Can you inflate it in the shape of a kitten?..

Petrov sighs.

“I can do anything,” he says. - I can do absolutely anything. I'm professional.