Why does the mayor so want to be a general? Act Five, Scene I

“Literature” 6th grade - Krylov Ivan Andreevich. One of the halls of the National Portrait Gallery. I.A. Krylov "Larchik". Nikolai Mikhailovich Rubtsov. Prishvin "Pantry of the Sun". Green "Scarlet Sails". Shukshin Vasily Makarovich. Chirki are homemade shoes. Mitrash. Leskov "Lefty". A journey through the pages of a school textbook. Litergorodok.

“Literature” 7th grade - Konstantin Dmitrievich Balmont. Anton Pavlovich Chekhov. Ivan Andreevich Krylov. Literary gender. Fyodor Ivanovich Tyutchev. Epic. Alexander Alexandrovich Blok. Literature. Literary studies. Fedor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky. Determine the type and genre (type) of a literary work. Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol. Drama.

“Literary excursions” - The material and work skills gradually become more complex. Students get to know the life and work of the writer in the school museum. For example, a lesson-excursion “The nature of Eastern Kazakhstan in the works of local authors.” The best essays can be read at a special evening dedicated to the results of the competition.

"Eidos-compendium" - Poet. Eidos-compendium. Form of organizing research reading. A lesson in studying the life path of a poet. Eidos. Pronouns. Method of organizing a lesson. Right hemisphere. Sun. A way to organize independent creative activity. Figurative drawing. Artistic analysis of the poem. Research activities.

“Moral values in literature” - Training of widely educated, highly moral people. Spiritual and moral ideal. Spiritual and moral education. Loyalty to simple truths. Spiritual and moral values in literature lessons. Honor. An hour of quiet reading. Love and respect for the Motherland. Image of Peter the Great. Midshipmen of our parish.

“Modern literature lesson” - The purpose of the lesson. Sample design for a literary reading lesson. Vision angle. Formation of the type of correct reading activity. Lesson structure. Three stages of working with any text. Selecting the final task. Text analysis in grades 5-6. Lesson topic. Modern literature lesson.

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Humor and satire are two types of comedy. We encounter funny things both in life and in art, including in literature.

Why is laughter needed? What role does it play in people's lives? The question may cause confusion. After all, laughter is when it’s just funny and no one thinks about what role he plays in it. But laughter is different from laughter, and the writer knows in advance what kind of laughter his reader will laugh at.

There is a cheerful, kind laughter. It's called humor. With this kind of laughter we laugh at funny words and the manner of their pronunciation.

Let's remember "Alice in Wonderland" by L. Carroll. The funny situations that the characters find themselves in also cause laughter. The characters' personalities are also funny. For example, all types of eccentrics make you smile, including Don Quixote and Sancho Panza. Understanding the versatility and complexity of life is the hallmark of humor.

In addition to cheerful, good-natured laughter, there is evil, angry laughter. It's called satire. Satire has been known since ancient times. This word is of Latin origin and literally means “all sorts of things”, “mixture”. Satire is a merciless denunciation. No wonder there is an expression “the scourge of satire.”

Satire in literature highlights and exaggerates human vices to such an extent that they become funny. For example, Gogol ridicules the dream of the mayor from The Inspector General to become a general. “Why do you want to be a general? Because if you go somewhere, couriers and adjutants will gallop ahead everywhere: “Horses!”…” The mayor’s dream comes down, against his will, to humiliating himself. Because the mayor is himself. The dream is bizarre and funny, but this laughter is bitter. It reveals some deep-seated vice in a person.

The same gloomy and revealing laughter is evoked by Khlestakov’s boastful and invented story from the first to the last word about how he entered the department “I only come in for two minutes... with the sole purpose of saying: this is like this, this is like this, and there was an official for writing, a kind of rat, with only a pen: tr, tr... went to write.” He tells it with taste, but the “rat” is himself, Khlestakov. To what degree of self-humiliation did one have to reach in order to see oneself in such a capacity? Funny? More bitter.

It’s also funny when the ugly at all costs wants to present itself as beautiful, the insignificant, the small as tall, the weak as strong, the stupid as smart.

Satire is characterized by open expression of hostility, rude and sometimes offensive language, and deliberate sharpness of assessments. Is satire necessary? Certainly. By ridiculing the negative in a person and in society, she helps to get rid of it. So sometimes it is useful to offend a person, as the great writers J. Swift offended him. Moliere, E. Raspe, N. Gogol, M. Saltykov-Shchedrin.

Main features of satire:

a type of comic;
angry, evil, destructive laughter;
sharpness, sometimes fantastic, of life situations and characters;
violation of proportions in the depicted phenomena;
the presence of hyperbole, less often litotes;
positive hero expressed implicitly;
orientation against negative phenomena in society and human character.

Mayor, Anna Andreevna and Marya Antonovna.

mayor. What, Anna Andreevna? A? Have you thought anything about this?

This rich prize, channel! Well, admit it frankly: you never dreamed of it - just from some mayor’s wife and suddenly... wow, you rascal!.. what a devil you became related to!

Anna Andreevna. Not at all; I've known this for a long time. This is strange to you, because you are a simple person, you have never seen decent people.

mayor. I myself, mother, am a decent person. However, really, just think about it, Anna Andreevna, what kind of birds you and I have become now! huh, Anna Andreevna? High flying, damn it! Wait, now I’ll give all these hunters the time to submit requests and denunciations. Hey, who's there?

The quarterly enters.

requests. Yes, announce to everyone so that they know: what, they say, what honor God has sent to the mayor - that he is marrying off his daughter not just to some ordinary person, but to someone who has never existed in the world, who can do anything, everything, everything, everything! Announce it to everyone so everyone knows. Shout to all the people, ring the bells, damn it! When there's a celebration, there's a celebration!

The quarterly leaves.

So that’s how it is, Anna Andreevna, huh? What will we do now, where will we live? Here or in St. Petersburg?

Anna Andreevna” Naturally, in St. Petersburg. How can you stay here!

Mayor. Well, in St. Petersburg it’s like that in St. Petersburg; but it would be good here too. Well, I think, to hell with mayorism then, huh, Anna Andreevna?

Anna Andreevna. Naturally, what kind of urbanism!

mayor. After all, as you think, Anna Andreevna, now you can get a big rank, because he is friends with all the ministers and goes to the palace, so that’s why

Anna Andreevna. You bet (of course you can.

Anna Andreevna. You like everything so rough. You must remember that life needs to be completely changed, that

Maybe you can make such a production that over time you will become a general. What do you think, Anna Andreevna: is it possible to become a general?

Anna Andreevna. Of course, it’s possible.

mayor. Damn it, it's nice to be a general! The cavalry will be hung over your shoulder. Which cavalry is better, Anna Andreevna: red or blue?

Anna Andreevna. Of course, blue is better.

Mayor. Eh? look what you wanted! good and red. After all, why do you want to be a general? - because if you go somewhere, couriers and adjutants will gallop ahead everywhere: “Horses!” And there at the stations they won’t give it to anyone, everything is waiting: all these titular officers, captains, mayors, but you don’t even give a damn. You're having lunch somewhere with the governor, and there - stop, mayor! Heh, heh, heh! (Breaks out and dies with laughter.) That's what, channelism, tempting!

Anna Andreevna. You like everything so rough. You must remember that your life needs to be completely changed, that your acquaintances will not be like some dog breeder judge with whom you go to poison hares, or Strawberry; on the contrary, your acquaintances will have the most subtle address: counts and all secular... Only I, really, am afraid for you: sometimes you will utter such a word that you will never hear in good society.

mayor. Well? after all, the word does not harm.

Anna Andreevna. Yes, it was good when you were a mayor. But life there is completely different.

mayor. Yes, they say there are two fish there: vendace and smelt, such that your mouth will start to flow as soon as you start eating.

Anna Andreevna. All he wants is fish! I really want our house to be the first in the capital and for my room to have such an aroma that it is impossible to enter and you only have to close your eyes this way. (Closes his eyes and sniffs.) Oh, how good!

2. Take five more pieces (classical or modern). Read them and choose

one scene from each play. Think about the characters' motivations based on basic needs theory. Record your results in a journal.

ACT FIFTH Same room Apparition I Mayor, Anna Andreevna and Marya Antonovna. “And there at the stations they won’t give it to anyone, everything is waiting: all these titular officers, captains, mayors, but you don’t even give a damn. You dine somewhere with the governor, and there - stop, mayor! Heh, heh, heh! ( She bursts into tears and dies with laughter.) That’s tempting, Anna Andreevna. You like everything so rude. You must remember that your life needs to be completely changed, that your friends will not be like some dog-walker judge with whom you are. you go to poison hares, or Strawberry; on the contrary, your acquaintances will have the most subtle address: counts and all secular... Only I, really, am afraid for you: sometimes you will utter such a word that you will never hear in good society. Well? After all, the word doesn’t hurt. Anna Andreevna. Yes, it’s good when you were a mayor. But life there is completely different, they say, there are vendace and smelt, such that your mouth will start flowing as soon as you start eating. Anna Andreevna All he needs is fish! (Closes his eyes and sniffs.) Oh, how good! Scene II The same are the merchants. Yes, I don’t care about your head and your importance! Bobchinsky. I have the honor to congratulate you! Marya Antonovna. Ah, mummy! after all, it was he who told me. That's who the generalship is like a saddle for a cow! Well, brother, the song is still far from that. There are better people here than you, but they are still not generals.

Same room

Phenomenon I

Mayor, Anna Andreevna And Marya Antonovna.

Mayor. What, Anna Andreevna? A? Have you thought anything about this? This rich prize, channel! Well, admit it frankly: you never even dreamed of it - just from some mayor’s wife and suddenly... wow, you sewer!.. what a devil you became related to!

Anna Andreevna. Not at all; I've known this for a long time. This is strange to you, because you are a simple person, you have never seen decent people.

Mayor. I myself, mother, am a decent person. However, really, just think about it, Anna Andreevna, what kind of birds you and I have become now! huh, Anna Andreevna? High flying, damn it! Wait, now I’ll give all these hunters the time to submit requests and denunciations. Hey, who's there?

Included quarterly.

Oh, it's you, Ivan Karpovich! Call the merchants here, brother! Here I am, channel them! So complain about me? Look, you damned Jewish people! Wait, my dears! Before, I only fed you up to your mustache, but now I’ll feed you up to your beard. Write down everyone who just came to attack me, and most of all these scribblers, the scribblers who twisted their requests. Yes, announce to everyone so that they know: what, look, what honor God has sent to the mayor - that he is marrying off his daughter not just to some ordinary person, but to someone who has never existed in the world, who can do anything, everything, everything, everything! Announce it to everyone so everyone knows. Shout to all the people, ring the bells, damn it! When it's a celebration, it's a celebration!

Quarterly leaves.

So that’s how it is, Anna Andreevna, huh? What will we do now, where will we live? here or in St. Petersburg?

Anna Andreevna. Naturally, in St. Petersburg. How can you stay here!

Mayor. Well, in St. Petersburg it’s like that in St. Petersburg; but it would be good here too. Well, I think, to hell with mayorism then, huh, Anna Andreevna?

Anna Andreevna. Naturally, what kind of urbanism!

Mayor. After all, as you think, Anna Andreevna, now you can achieve a great rank, because he is friends with all the ministers and goes to the palace, so he can do such a thing that in time you will become a general. What do you think, Anna Andreevna: is it possible to become a general?

Anna Andreevna. Still would! Of course you can.

Mayor. Damn it, it's nice to be a general! The cavalry will be hung over your shoulder. Which cavalry is better, Anna Andreevna: red or blue?

Anna Andreevna. Of course, blue is better.

Mayor. Eh? look what you wanted! good and red. After all, why do you want to be a general? - because if you go somewhere, couriers and adjutants will gallop ahead everywhere: “Horses!” And there at the stations they won’t give it to anyone, everything is waiting: all these titular officers, captains, mayors, but you don’t even give a damn. You're having lunch somewhere with the governor, and there - stop, mayor! Heh, heh, heh! (Breaks out and dies with laughter.) That's what, channelism, tempting!

Anna Andreevna. You like everything so rough. You must remember that your life needs to be completely changed, that your acquaintances will not be like some dog breeder judge with whom you go to poison hares, or Strawberry; on the contrary, your acquaintances will have the most subtle address: counts and all secular... Only I, really, am afraid for you: sometimes you will utter such a word that you will never hear in good society.

Mayor. Well? after all, the word does not harm.

Anna Andreevna. Yes, it was good when you were a mayor. But life there is completely different.

Mayor. Yes, they say there are two fish there: vendace and smelt, such that your mouth will start to flow as soon as you start eating.

Anna Andreevna. All he wants is fish! I really want our house to be the first in the capital and for my room to have such an aroma that it is impossible to enter and you only have to close your eyes this way. (Closes his eyes and sniffs.) Oh, how good!

Phenomenon II

The same And merchants.

Mayor. A! Hello, falcons!

Merchants(bowing). We wish you good health, father!

Mayor. Well, my dears, how are you? How is your item going? What, samovar makers, arshinniks, should complain? Archpluts, proto-beasts, worldly swindlers! complain? What, did you take a lot? So, they think, that’s how they’ll put him in prison!.. Do you know, seven devils and one witch are in your teeth, that...

Anna Andreevna. Oh, my God, what words you let out, Antosha!

Mayor (with displeasure). Ah, no time for words now! Do you know that the very official to whom you complained is now marrying my daughter? What? A? what do you say now? Now I’m... you!.. you’re deceiving the people... Will you make a deal with the treasury, cheat it out of a hundred thousand by supplying rotten cloth, and then donate twenty arshins, and give you another reward for this? Yes, if they knew, so would you... And his belly thrusts forward: he is a merchant, don’t touch him. “We, he says, will not yield to the nobles.” Yes, a nobleman... oh, you mug! - a nobleman studies science: even though he is whipped at school, he gets to work so that he knows something useful. What about you? - you start with tricks, the owner beats you because you don’t know how to deceive. Even as a boy, you don’t know the Our Father, let alone measure it; and as soon as he opens your belly and fills your pocket, he becomes so self-important! Wow, what an incredible thing! Because you blow sixteen samovars a day, that’s why you’re putting on airs? Yes, I don’t care about your head and your importance!

Merchants(bowing). Blame, Anton Antonovich!

Mayor. Complain? And who helped you cheat when you built a bridge and painted wood worth twenty thousand, when there wasn’t even one worth of a hundred rubles? I helped you, goat beard! Have you forgotten it? Having shown this to you, I could also send you to Siberia. What do you say? A?

Merchants. Blame God, Anton Antonovich! The evil one has misled me. And let's stop complaining. Whatever satisfaction you want, just don’t get angry!

Mayor. Don't be angry! Now you are lying at my feet. From what? - because it took mine; and if I had been even a little on your side, you, the rascal, would have trampled me to the very dirt, and even piled a log on top of me.

Merchants (bow at their feet). Don't destroy me, Anton Antonovich!

Mayor. Don't destroy it! Now: don’t destroy it! and before what? I would... (Waving his hand.) Well, God forgive me! full! I am not memory-evil; just keep your eyes open now! I am not marrying my daughter off to some simple nobleman: so that there will be congratulations... you understand? It’s not like you should be afraid of some kind of balychk or a head of sugar... Well, go with God!

Merchants leaving.

Scene III

The same, Ammos Fedorovich, Artemy Filippovich, Then Rastakovsky.

Ammos Fedorovich(still at the door.) Should we believe the rumors, Anton Antonovich? Has extraordinary happiness come to you?

Artemy Filippovich. I have the honor to congratulate you on your extraordinary happiness. I was heartbroken when I heard. Anna Andreevna!(Approaching Marya Antonovna’s hand.)

Rastakovsky Marya Antonovna! (enters). Congratulations to Anton Antonovich. May God prolong the life of you and the new couple and give you numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren! Anna Andreevna!(Approaches Anna Andreevna’s hand.) Marya Antonovna!

Phenomenon IV

The same, Korobkin With wife, Lyulyukov.

Korobkin. I have the honor to congratulate Anton Antonovich! Anna Andreevna! (enters). Congratulations to Anton Antonovich. May God prolong the life of you and the new couple and give you numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren! Anna Andreevna!(Approaches Anna Andreevna’s hand.) (Approaches her hand.)

Korobkin's wife. I sincerely congratulate you, Anna Andreevna, on your new happiness.

Lyulyukov. I have the honor to congratulate you, Anna Andreevna! (He approaches the pen and then, turning to the audience, clicks his tongue with an air of daring.) Marya Antonovna! I have the honor to congratulate you. (He approaches her hand and addresses the audience with the same boldness.)

Phenomenon V

Many guests in frock coats and tails first approach Anna Andreevna’s hand, saying: “Anna Andreevna!” - then to Marya Antonovna, saying: “Marya Antonovna!” Bobchinsky And Dobchinsky are pushing through.

Bobchinsky. I have the honor to congratulate you!

Dobchinsky. Anton Antonovich! I have the honor to congratulate you!

Bobchinsky. Happy accident!

Dobchinsky. Anna Andreevna!

Bobchinsky. Anna Andreevna!

Both approach at the same time and bump heads.

Dobchinsky. Marya Antonovna! (Approaches the handle.) I have the honor to congratulate you. You will be in great, great happiness, in a golden dress and walk around and eat various delicate soups; You will have a very fun time.

Bobchinsky(interrupting) . Marya Antonovna, I have the honor to congratulate you! May God give you all the wealth, chervonets and son, so little, so much, sir (shows with his hand) that could be placed on the palm of your hand, yes sir! The boy will all shout: wow! wow! wow!..

Scene VI

A few more guests approaching the arms. Luka Lukic With wife.

Luka Lukic. I have the honor...

Luka Lukic's wife(runs forward). Congratulations, Anna Andreevna!

They kiss.

And I was really happy. They tell me: “Anna Andreevna is giving away her daughter.” "Oh my god!" - I think to myself, and I was so happy that I said to my husband: “Listen, Lukanchik, this is Anna Andreevna’s happiness!” “Well,” I think to myself, “thank God!” And I tell him: “I’m so delighted that I’m burning with impatience to tell Anna Andreevna personally...” “Oh, my God! - I think to myself, - Anna Andreevna was precisely expecting a good match for her daughter, but now this is fate: it happened exactly as she wanted,” and, truly, she was so happy that she could not speak. I cry, I cry, I just cry. Already Luka Lukich says: “Why are you crying, Nastenka?” - “Lukanchik, I say, I don’t even know myself, the tears are flowing like a river.”

Mayor. I humbly ask you to sit down, gentlemen! Hey, Mishka, bring more chairs here.

The guests sit down.

Scene VII

The same, private bailiff And quarterly.

Private bailiff. I have the honor to congratulate you, your honor, and wish you prosperity for many years to come!

Mayor. Thank you, thank you! Please sit down, gentlemen!

The guests are seated.

Ammos Fedorovich. But please tell me, Anton Antonovich, how it all began, the gradual progress of everything, that is, the case.

Mayor. The course of the matter is extraordinary: he deigned to personally make an offer.

Anna Andreevna. Very respectfully and in the most subtle way. Everything was extremely well spoken. She says: “I, Anna Andreevna, out of sheer respect for your merits...” And such a wonderful, well-mannered person, with the noblest rules! “Believe me, Anna Andreevna, my life is a penny; I do it only because I respect your rare qualities.”

Marya Antonovna. Ah, mummy! after all, it was he who told me.

Anna Andreevna. Stop it, you don’t know anything and don’t interfere in your own business! “I, Anna Andreevna, am amazed...” He poured out such flattering words... And when I wanted to say: “We don’t dare hope for such an honor,” he suddenly fell to his knees and in the most noble way: “Anna Andreevna, don’t me the most unfortunate! agree to respond to my feelings, otherwise I will end my life with death.”

Marya Antonovna. Really, mama, he said that about me.

Anna Andreevna. Yes, of course... it was about you too, I don’t deny any of that.

Mayor. And he even scared me: he said that he would shoot himself. “I’ll shoot myself, I’ll shoot myself!” - speaks.

Many of the guests. Tell me please!

Ammos Fedorovich. What a thing!

Luka Lukic. Truly, fate had it that way.

Artemy Filippovich. Not fate, father, fate is a turkey: merit led to this.

Ammos Fedorovich(To the side.) Such a pig's mouth is always happiness!

Mayor. I, perhaps, Anton Antonovich, will sell you the male dog that was traded.

Ammos Fedorovich. No, I have no time for male dogs now.

Korobkin's wife. Well, if you don’t want to, we’ll settle for another dog.

Korobkin. Oh, how, Anna Andreevna, I am glad for your happiness! you can't imagine.

Mayor. Where now, may I ask, is the eminent guest? I heard that he left for some reason.

Anna Andreevna. Yes, he went for one day on a very important matter.

Mayor. To his uncle to ask for blessings.

. Ask for blessings; but tomorrow... (Sneezes.)

Congratulations merge into one roar.

Much appreciated! But tomorrow and back... (Sneezes.)

Congratulatory hum; voices heard more clearly than others: Private bailiff

. We wish you good health, your honor! Artemy Filippovich

. May you disappear! Korobkin's wives

Mayor. Damn you!

Anna Andreevna. Thank you most humbly! I wish the same for you.

Mayor. We now intend to live in St. Petersburg. And here, I admit, such an air... too rustic!.. I admit, it’s a big nuisance... Here’s my husband... he will receive the rank of general there.

Luka Lukic. Yes, I confess, gentlemen, I, damn it, really want to be a general.

Rastakovsky. And God forbid you get it!

Ammos Fedorovich. From man it is impossible, but from God everything is possible.

Artemy Filippovich. According to merit and honor.

Ammos Fedorovich(to the side) . He'll do something crazy when he actually becomes a general! That's who the generalship is like a saddle for a cow! Well, brother, the song is still far from that. There are better people here than you, but they are still not generals.

Artemy Filippovich(to the side) . Damn it, he's already trying to become a general! What good, maybe he will become a general. After all, he has importance, the evil one would not take him, enough. (Turning to him.) Then, Anton Antonovich, don’t forget us either.

Ammos Fedorovich. And if something happens, for example, some kind of business need, don’t leave your patronage!

Korobkin. Next year I will take my son to the capital for the benefit of the state, so do me a favor, show him your protection, take the place of a father for an orphan.

Mayor. For my part, I am ready, ready to try.

Anna Andreevna. You, Antosha, are always ready to promise. First of all, you won't have time to think about it. And how and why should one burden oneself with such promises?

Mayor. Why, my soul? sometimes you can.

Anna Andreevna. You can, of course, but not every small fry can be patronized.

Korobkin's wife. Have you heard how she interprets us?

Guest. Yes, she has always been like this; I know her: sit her down at the table, she and her legs...

Scene VIII

The same And postmaster in a hurry, with a printed letter in his hand.

Postmaster. Amazing thing, gentlemen! The official whom we took for an auditor was not an auditor.

All. Why not an auditor?

Postmaster. Not an auditor at all, I learned this from the letter...

Mayor. What do you? what do you? from which letter?

Postmaster. Yes, from his own letter. They bring me a letter in the mail. I looked at the address and saw: “to Pochtamtskaya Street.” I was so dumbfounded. “Well,” I thought to myself, “that’s right, I found disturbances in the post office and notified the authorities.” I took it and printed it out.

Mayor. How are you?..

Postmaster. I don’t know, it was an unnatural force that prompted me. He had already called for a courier in order to send him with the relay, but such curiosity overcame him as he had never felt before. I can't, I can't! I hear that I can’t! It’s pulling, it’s pulling! In one ear I hear: “Hey, don’t print it out! you will disappear like a chicken"; and in another, it’s as if some demon is whispering: “Print, print, print!” And as the sealing wax pressed down, fire ran through the veins, but when it opened, it was frost, by God it was frost. And my hands are shaking, and everything is blurry.

Mayor. How dare you print a letter from such an authorized person?

Postmaster. That's the thing, he's not authorized and not a person!

Mayor. What do you think he is?

Postmaster. Neither this nor that; God knows what it is!

Mayor(passionately). how is it not? How dare you call him neither this nor that, and God knows what? I'll put you under arrest...

Postmaster. Who? You?

Mayor. Yes I!

Postmaster. Short arms!

Mayor. Do you know that he will marry my daughter, that I myself will be a nobleman, that I will caulk all the way to Siberia?

Postmaster. Eh, Anton Antonovich! what about Siberia? Siberia is far away. It’s better if I read it to you. Gentlemen! let me read the letter!

All. Read, read!

Postmaster(is reading) . “I hasten to notify you, my soul Tryapichkin, what miracles are happening to me. On the road, an infantry captain robbed me all around, so that the innkeeper was about to throw me in prison; when suddenly, judging by my St. Petersburg physiognomy and suit, the whole city took me for the governor general. And now I live with the mayor, I chew, I drag myself recklessly after his wife and daughter; I just haven’t decided where to start - I think, first with my mother, because it seems that she is now ready for all services. Do you remember how you and I were in poverty, dined on our rim, and how once the pastry chef grabbed me by the collar about the pies we had eaten at the expense of the income of the King of England? Now it's a completely different turn. Everyone lends me as much as they want. The originals are terrible. You'd die laughing. You, I know, write articles: put them in your literature. Firstly, the mayor is as stupid as a gray gelding...”

Mayor. This can't be true! It's not there.

Postmaster (shows letter). Read for yourself.

Mayor(is reading) . “Like a gray gelding.” Can't be! you wrote it yourself.

Postmaster. How would I start writing?

Artemy Filippovich. Read!

Luka Lukic. Read!

Mayor. Oh my gosh! needs to be repeated! as if it wasn’t even there anyway.

Mayor. No, read it!

Postmaster. Why?..

Mayor. No, damn it, when you have to read, read! Read everything!

Artemy Filippovich. Let me read it. (Puts on glasses and reads.)“The postmaster is exactly like our departmental watchman Mikheev; The scoundrel must also be drinking bitter.”

Postmaster(to the audience.) Well, he’s a bad boy who needs to be whipped; nothing else!

Artemy Filippovich (continuing reading). “Overseer of a godly institution...and...and...and... (Stutters.)

Korobkin. Why did you stop?

Artemy Filippovich. Yes, a fuzzy pen... however, it is clear that he is a scoundrel.

Korobkin. Let me! I think I have better eyes.

Artemy Filippovich (Takes the letter.)(without giving the letter)

Korobkin. No, you can skip this part, but the rest is legible.

Postmaster. Yes, let me, I already know.

All. No, read everything! after all, everything has been read before.

Artemy Filippovich. Give me back, Artemy Filippovich, give me the letter! (To Korobkin.) Read!. Now. (Gives the letter.) Here, let me...

(Closes it with his finger.)

Postmaster Read it from here.

Korobkin Everyone starts to join him.

Artemy Filippovich. Read, read! nonsense, read everything!

Luka Lukic(reading). “The overseer of the charitable establishment, Strawberry, is a perfect pig in a yarmulke.”

Ammos Fedorovich(to the side) . Thank God, at least it’s not about me!

Korobkin(is reading) . "Judge…"

Ammos Fedorovich. Here you go!

Luka Lukic(Aloud.) Gentlemen, I think the letter is long. And what the hell is it: reading such rubbish.

Postmaster. No, read it!

Artemy Filippovich. No!

Korobkin. No, read it! (continues) “Judge Lyapkin-Tyapkin is extremely bad manners...”(Stops.)

Ammos Fedorovich Must be a French word.

Korobkin (continuing reading). And the devil knows what it means! It’s still good if he’s just a fraudster, and maybe even worse. . “However, the people are hospitable and good-natured. Goodbye, soul Tryapichkin. I myself, following your example, want to take up literature. It’s boring, brother, to live like this; Finally, you want food for the soul. I see that I definitely need to do something high. Write to me in the Saratov province, and from there to the village of Podkatilovka.(Turns the letter over and reads the address.)

To His Nobility, the gracious Sovereign, Ivan Vasilyevich Tryapichkin, on Pochtamtskaya Street, in the house number ninety-seven, turning into the courtyard, on the third floor to the right.” One of the ladies

Mayor. What an unexpected reprimand!

Korobkin's wife. That's when he stabbed him, he stabbed him like that! Killed, killed, completely killed! I don't see anything. I see some pig snouts instead of faces, but nothing else... Turn it back, turn it back!

Ammos Fedorovich(Waves his hand.) Where to turn! As if on purpose, I ordered the caretaker to give me the best three; The devil has managed to give an order ahead.

Artemy Filippovich. This is definitely an unprecedented embarrassment!

Postmaster. However, damn it, gentlemen! he borrowed three hundred rubles from me.

Bobchinsky. I also have three hundred rubles.

Ammos Fedorovich (sighs). Oh! and I have three hundred rubles.. Pyotr Ivanovich and I have sixty-five in banknotes, yes, yes.

Mayor (spreads his arms in bewilderment). How is this, gentlemen? How did we really make such a mistake?

Anna Andreevna(hits himself on the forehead)

Mayor. How am I - no, how am I, an old fool? Survived, stupid sheep, out of your mind!.. I’ve been in the service for thirty years; no merchant or contractor could carry out; He deceived swindlers upon swindlers, swindlers and rogues such that they are ready to rob the whole world, he cheated on them! He deceived three governors!.. What governors! (waved his hand) there’s nothing to say about governors... Oh, you fat nose! He took an icicle and a rag for an important person! There he is now singing bells all over the road! Will spread the story around the world. Not only will you become a laughing stock - there will be a clicker, a paper maker, who will insert you into the comedy. That’s what’s offensive! He won’t spare his rank, his title, and everyone will bare their teeth and clap their hands. Why are you laughing? - You’re laughing at yourself!.. Oh, you!.. (Knocks his feet on the floor in anger.) I would scribble all these papers! Oh, clickers, damned liberals! damn seed! I would tie you all up in a knot, I would grind you all into flour and the hell out of you! put it in his hat!.. (Shoves his fist and hits the floor with his heel. After some silence.) I still can’t come to my senses. Now, truly, if God wants to punish, he will first take away reason. Well, what was there in this helipad that looked like an auditor? There was nothing! It just didn’t look like half a little finger - and suddenly that’s it: an auditor! auditor! Well, who was the first to say that he was an auditor? Answer!

Artemy Filippovich (spreading his arms). For the life of me, I cannot explain how this happened. It was as if some kind of fog had stunned me, the devil had confused me.

Ammos Fedorovich. But who released it - that's who released it: these fellows! (Points to Dobchinsky and Bobchinsky.)

Bobchinsky. Hey, not me! I didn’t even think...

Dobchinsky. I'm nothing, nothing at all...

Artemy Filippovich. Of course, you.

Luka Lukic. Of course. They came running like crazy from the tavern: “He’s here, he’s here and he’s not paying any money...” They found an important bird!

Mayor. Naturally, you! city gossips, damned liars!

Artemy Filippovich. Damn you and your auditor and your stories!

Mayor. Just prowling around the city and confusing everyone, damned rattles! Sow gossip, short-tailed magpies!

Ammos Fedorovich. Damn bastards!

Luka Lukic. Caps!

Artemy Filippovich. Short-bellied morels!

Everyone surrounds them.

Bobchinsky. By God, it’s not me, it’s Pyotr Ivanovich.

Dobchinsky. Eh, no, Pyotr Ivanovich, you’re the first to...

Bobchinsky. But no; you were the first.

The last phenomenon

The same And gendarme.

Gendarme. An official who arrived by personal order from St. Petersburg demands you to come to him this very hour. He stayed at a hotel.

The spoken words strike everyone like thunder. The sound of amazement unanimously flies from the ladies' lips; the whole group, having suddenly changed their position, remains petrified.

Silent scene

The mayor is in the middle in the form of a pillar, with outstretched arms and his head thrown back. On his right hand are his wife and daughter with the movement of their whole body rushing towards him; behind them is the postmaster, who has turned into a question mark addressed to the audience; behind him is Luka Lukic, lost in the most innocent way; behind him, at the very edge of the stage, are three ladies, guests, leaning against one another with the most satirical expression on their faces, directly related to the mayor’s family. On the left side of the mayor: Strawberry, tilting his head slightly to one side, as if listening to something; behind him is a judge with outstretched arms, crouching almost to the ground and making a movement with his lips, as if he wanted to whistle or say: “Here’s St. George’s Day for you, grandma!” Behind him is Korobkin, who addressed the audience with a narrowed eye and a caustic allusion to the mayor; behind him, at the very edge of the stage, Bobchinsky and Dobchinsky with their hands moving towards each other, their mouths agape and their eyes bulging at each other. The other guests remain just pillars. For almost a minute and a half, the petrified group maintains this position. The curtain falls.