Which means the devil is in the details. The devil is in the details - who's to say
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Quite often, people use catchphrases and sayings to make their speech more colorful and meaningful. We will talk about one of these phraseological units in this short article, this The devil is in the details You will find out who said it below.
However, before continuing, I would like to recommend you some more educational news on the topic of insults. For example, who is Patlaty, who is Kamvhora, what does Kunem mean, who is called Dunce, etc.
So let's continue, who said The devil is in the details Wikipedia provides too little information on this matter. The origin of this saying is rooted in the history of France and Germany, where exactly this phrase was first uttered is unknown today. Then the saying went like this: " God is in the details and the devil is in the extremes".
The devil is in the details- means that you should not trust the first impression, it is often deceptive. However, there is no need to go to extremes, and act with frenzy, this is not at all like God
Who is the Devil in religion?
The devil is in the details- means that no matter how much you want to plan everything, some little thing can ruin your whole cunning plan
Over time, this proverb found its way into English language "The devil is in the details", and most likely it was this option that later appeared in the Russian language.
In general, neglecting the little things is completely unforgivable, since the whole reality around us consists of little things.
Dear reader, you still have a question, who said the devil is in the details? The first recorded evidence dates back to 1969, when the saying was published in the New York Times by Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, a German architect.
Although researchers claim that its author is another German, named Warburg Abi, a German art historian and cultural critic (June 13, 1866, Hamburg - October 26, 1929).
Some will wonder why The devil is in the details and let’s not say Carlson, who lives on the roof or Cheshire Cat? Yes, because the Devil has a strong intellect, he is cunning and cunning. All he really does is play with human destinies. People for the most part are lazy, gullible and stupid; they are bored with learning about the world around them, because for this they need to strain their “gray matter”. Therefore, a person without hesitation trusts charlatans, newspapers, television, neighbors, friends, acquaintances, etc.
The Chinese have a similar saying " catch the little devil and he will lead you to his main thing".
After reading this short article you will now know who said The devil is in the details, and what is the meaning of this saying.
The French have a saying: "The devil is in the details".
It is the details that determine whether the job will be done well or poorly. You can have an idea of what needs to be done in general outline- but the devil is in the details.
If you are preparing the most banal jelly, the result will greatly depend on whether you pour water into the starch, or pour the starch into the water - a mistake will lead to the fact that the jelly will be full of lumps. And a similar mistake when diluting concentrated acid - if you start pouring water into the acid, and not vice versa - can completely leave you without an eye. Such is the importance of details.
In marketing and sales, a lot depends on the details. Even if you know in general terms what needs to be done, small details like a difference of one hour or a difference of one word can determine the success or failure of the entire action.
- For example, the same presentation of a business book and an autograph session can give absolutely different results depending on whether this presentation is at 4:30 p.m. when the target audience while still at work, or at 17:30, when people in ties are just leaving work and looking into book Shop. And even more so it will matter whether this store is located in the business part of the city or on the outskirts.
But due to a lack of understanding of how things actually work, due to lack of attention to detail, these people fail to copy even what was being done right before their eyes.
- For example, recently one provincial blogger tried to copy a famous American mini-project. The author of the original project earned himself a villa with a swimming pool and a Lamborghini, and at the same time became famous. The imitator also made money - 30 or 40 dollars - and still does not understand why he did not succeed.
And if the project has an underwater part that is not visible, then turn out the lights completely. An imitator who is inattentive to details will not even realize its existence.
- For example, one of my students uses guerrilla marketing techniques to stay afloat in a business where half of the competitors have already gone bankrupt and the other half are tightening their belts. For competitors, he advertises in newspapers, but in fact attracts clients in completely different ways, which he learned from my seminars. All competitors copy his advertisements in the newspaper, some word for word, some in meaning - and not one has even guessed that the secret of success is not in newspaper advertising.
Therefore, be attentive to details, gentlemen. And be doubly careful if you want to learn from someone else’s experience, be it a teacher or a competitor - or, conversely, if you are teaching someone. Be attentive to subtleties, to nuances, to small details, to intonation and gestures, to the title of the advertising module and to the color of the promoter’s cap, to the opening hours of the store and to the size of the “Buy” button on the site. The devil is in the details.
What small details are vital in your work?
Today, no one doubts that beauty lies in the details. This is especially true for girls. After all, you will never be able to create a harmonious image if you do not think it through thoroughly. Nice dress- That's not all. To catch admiring glances, you also need to do a good hairdo, manicure and put on heels. In this article we will lift the veil of secrecy and find out where the phrase “The devil is in the details” comes from.
Why details are so important
The thing is that it is difficult for a person to think through everything in advance. But a complete picture is obtained only when all the details are worked out. It seems that this only applies to artistic arts, but this is far from the case. Any creativity, be it writing, music or architecture, requires attention to detail. If you do not take them into account, then the books will be uninteresting, the music will be unattractive, and the houses will be unlivable. Why is this happening? Let's look at the book as an example.
The writer must not only work out the plot, but also think through the characters well. If he does not do this, then the author may contradict himself, or the characters in the book will be so unrealistic that their lives will not grab attention. And if the reader stops empathizing fictional characters, whatever interesting story no matter what, the book will be abandoned halfway through. The devil is in the details, and not only artists know this. Engineers, scientists, builders, designers, in general, people of any profession are forced to devote close attention little things so that the result of the whole project is at its best.
Origin of the phrase
The expression “The devil is in the details” was first published in the New York Times in 1969. There it was found in an article by the architect Ludwig Mies van der Rohe.
The architect was German by nationality, which suggests that the expression clearly has German roots. This has not been established exactly, but most likely the saying “The devil is in the details” is German folk wisdom. After all, if you think about the culture of the country, then everything falls into place. The Germans are very punctual and pedantic; unlike our compatriots, they like everything to go according to plan.
Meaning of the phrase
Every country has an analogue of this expression. In Russia, the phrase in its original form did not take root, and our compatriots slightly changed it. You can now hear the expression that “The devil is in the details” more often than the original idiom “The devil is in the details.”
The meaning, however, does not change from this. A common phrase says that if you don’t pay attention to the little things, then good result will not work. This means that it is the details that sometimes play important role and can ruin the whole project. An unforeseen maximum load on a part, a poorly sewn button, or an untested medicine - the damage from all these oversights will be different, but as a result, all these projects will end in failure. In the Russian language there is an expression “And so it will do,” unfortunately, many of our compatriots make it almost a motto in life. But everyone knows what “The devil is in the details” means and, accordingly, the consequences of their negligence are also known to everyone.
Let's apply the saying in life
It doesn't matter who said "The devil is in the details", the main thing is that this folk wisdom is now available to everyone. Of course, this does not mean that everyone uses it. Today, access to knowledge has become open, but, unfortunately, people are too fond of testing everything from their own experience. But it’s not so difficult - before starting any project, spend some time working out its details. In the future, this will definitely bear fruit and the “devil” will not wait for you around every metaphorical turn. If it is not possible to conduct a brainstorming session at the beginning of the project, then it is advisable to conduct it at least at the end. This way you can find your mistakes after the fact. This, of course, will be disappointing, but it is better if you find them yourself than someone else.
Paying attention to detail is not some kind of innate skill, but a habit that is developed through willpower. Every day you need to force yourself to be more focused. You don’t have to start practicing this kind of mindfulness at work, you can start with Everyday life. After all, many people are inattentive to such an extent that at breakfast they put sausage in the bread bin and bread in the refrigerator. Only daily practice will bear fruit and if all the details are provided, the devil will not hide in them.
The devil hides the details
The devil is in the details - you should not trust first impressions, draw conclusions based on striking facts, or take on faith information that seems worthy of respect. An objective judgment appears only with the study of everything relevant to the matter: including little things, details, the perception of which can radically change an already established opinionBut what exactly is the devil in the details, and, say, not the clumsy bear or the Snow Queen?
Because the devil, as you know, is a cunning, intelligent, insidious and mocking creature. Don’t feed him bread, let him make fun of human stupidity, laziness and gullibility. After all, delving into details, analyzing little things, collecting crumbs from the table of knowledge is a tedious, complex and long task. Rather than indulge in it, it’s easier to trust someone: neighbors, newspapers, TV...
Examples of details the devil is hiding
Six Day War
Fact
In the summer of 1967, Israel attacked Egypt and defeated it within six days in the so-called Six Day War.
Conclusion
Israel is an aggressor who must be held accountable for what they have done
Details
- 1967, April 7 - Air battle over the Golan between Syrian and Israeli fighters. 6 Syrian planes shot down. Israeli planes tried to prevent Syrian heavy artillery located in the Golan from shelling Jewish settlements located in the Galilee below.
- 1967, April 21 - Two weeks after the air battle, Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs of the USSR Malik said that Israel was putting at risk “the very existence of the state”
- 1967 May 4 - The Syrian Minister of Information stated: "(this battle will) be continued with more serious battles until Palestine is liberated and the Zionist presence ends."
- 1967, May 11 - Israel warned the UN Security Council that if Syria continues to provoke provocations (it moved heavy artillery into the demilitarized zone), it will consider itself entitled to resort to self-defense
- 1967, May 12 - The USSR Ambassador conveyed information to the Egyptians about the concentration of IDF forces near the border with Syria, although Israel did not begin mobilization. The ambassador’s telegram to Moscow sounded like this: “Today we conveyed information to the Egyptians regarding the concentration of Israeli troops on the northern border for a surprise attack on Syria. We recommended that the UAR government take appropriate steps." (UAR - United Arab Republic (Syria and Egypt)
- 1967, May 13 - USSR Ambassador to Israel D.S. Chuvakin visited Israeli Prime Minister Levi Eshkol and expressed to him “protest against the threatening concentration of Israeli troops on the Syrian border.” The stunned Eshkol assured the ambassador that no attack on Syria was planned, and offered him a joint trip to the north - immediately, right now, to see for himself. The ambassador refused.
- 1967, May 14 - Egypt began sending infantry and tank units into Sinai
- 1967, May 15 - (Egypt declared a state of emergency. Two tank divisions marched through Cairo and went to the bridges over the Canal
- 1967, May 16 - Egyptian President Nasser demanded that UN troops in Sinai relocate to the Gaza Strip
- 1967, May 17 - Nasser demanded the evacuation of UN troops from Gaza, Sinai and generally from the borders with Israel.
- 1967 May 18 - UN troops patrolling the 1948-1956 ceasefire line abandoned their bases in Sinai and Gaza
- 1967, May 18 - Address of the Egyptian General Murtagh to the army: “Egyptian troops took up positions according to pre-developed plans. The spirit of our troops is high, for the day they have been waiting for a long time has come - a holy war."
- 1967, May 19 - Egyptian troops entered Sharm e-Sheikh, settled in former places deployment of UN troops in Gaza and Sinai
- 1967, May 20 - General mobilization in Israel. School classes were cut short, buses were all sent to the army, bomb shelters were equipped with everything necessary, trenches and trenches were dug, realizing that the government would need money, thousands of citizens paid taxes in advance, a flood of donations poured into the Ministry of Defense, including jewelry and wedding rings
- 1967, May 21 - Nasser closed the Strait of Tiran to Israeli ships: “The Strait of Tiran is part of our territorial waters. No Israeli ship will be allowed to pass through it in future. At the same time, we prohibit the delivery of strategic goods through the Strait to Israel on ships of other countries.” The Gulf of Aqaba was divided between Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia and Israel, therefore, the strait could not be declared the territorial waters of anyone - this violated all conventions on the law of the sea
- 1967, May 22 - Egypt announced a military alliance with Iraq
- 1967, May 24 - Israeli Foreign Minister A. Even began a three-day visit to countries Western Europe and in the United States with a request to intervene in the flaring conflict. No result
- 1967, May 24 - Egypt began blockade of the Straits of Tiran
- 1967, May 24 - Jordan completed mobilization and opened its border to Saudi Arabian and Iraqi troops
- 1967, May 26 - Egyptian President Nasser, in a speech addressed to Egyptian trade unions, said that “the war, if it breaks out, will be total, and its goal will be the destruction of Israel.”
- 1967, May 30 - King Hussein of Jordan arrived in Egypt. He signed a joint defense pact with Nasser and placed his army at the disposal of the Egyptian General Staff. On the same day, Iraqi tank units entered Jordan and moved to West Bank, and Iraqi aviation relocated to the airfields closest to Israel. Saudi Arabia has concentrated its army on the Jordanian border in the Gulf of Aqaba. An Algerian expeditionary force was sent to Egypt.
In total, Israel was confronted by a united Arab army of 530 thousand people, which had 2,500 tanks and 940 combat aircraft. Armed forces Israel after general mobilization numbered 264 thousand people, 800 tanks and 300 aircraft
- 1967, May 30 - In Amman, the head of the PLO (Palestine Liberation Organization), Ahmed Shuqeyri, said: “When we liberate Palestine, we will help the surviving Jews return to their countries of origin. But I doubt that anyone will survive at all."
- 1967, June 2 - Meeting of the Israeli government on the timing of the start of the war. It was decided that the attack would begin no earlier than Monday, June 5
- 1967, June 5 - Beginning of the Six-Day War. 40 planes took off from Israeli airfields and flew west, towards the sea. The first wave of Israeli aircraft spent exactly 7 minutes over Egyptian airfields. Three minutes later, these airfields were covered by the second wave...
Conclusion: the so-called “Israeli aggression against Egypt” is a consequence of anti-Israeli policies Arab countries, supported by the Soviet Union. The June 5 attack was a preemptive strike, without which Israel would have lost the impending war.
Collapse of the USSR
Fact
1991, December 8 - the heads of Belarus, Russia and Ukraine, meeting in the Belarusian village of Viskuli, stated the cessation of the existence of the USSR
Conclusion
Yeltsin, Kravchuk, Shushkevich “ruined Soviet Union»
Details
- The Estonian SSR declared secession from the Union on August 20, 1991
- The Lithuanian SSR declared secession from the Union on March 11, 1990
- The Latvian SSR declared secession from the Union on August 21, 1991
- The Azerbaijan SSR declared secession from the Union on August 30, 1991
- The Georgian SSR declared secession from the Union on April 9, 1991
- The Russian Federation declared sovereignty on June 12, 1990
- The Uzbek SSR declared independence on August 31, 1991
- The Moldavian SSR declared secession from the Union on August 27, 1991
- The Ukrainian SSR declared secession from the Union on August 24, 1991
- The Belarusian SSR declared secession from the Union on December 8, 1991
- The Turkmen SSR declared secession from the Union on October 27, 1991
- The Armenian SSR declared secession from the Union on September 23, 1991
- The Tajik SSR declared secession from the Union on September 9, 1991
- The Kyrgyz SSR declared secession from the Union on August 31, 1991
- The Kazakh SSR declared independence on December 16, 1991
Conclusion: the presidents of Ukraine, Belarus, Russia Kravchuk, Shushkevich, Yeltsin, who signed the Belovezhskaya agreements, did not collapse the Soviet Union, but only approved what already existed in reality
“The devil is in the details” is evidence that there is no single truth, no universal truth. There are many truths that depend on points of view, of which there are millions, that is, on those very details in which the devil lurks
Regarding the expression “The devil is in the details,” a lot of different things have been written on the Internet, but little of substance.
There is a funny moment in the Wiki (in English).
First of all, this idiom is a reversal.
Initially it sounded like "God is in the details."
Mutation of this expression has been associated with several outstanding people of German and French origin.
Many attribute the phrase to J. Goethe: “Der Teufel steckt im Detail oder da ist doch der Wurm drin!” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)
but I didn't find any confirmation.
Therefore, the RuNet statement: Full statement Goethe “God is in the details, and the devil is in the extremes.” - can be viewed with skepticism.
Several cultures compete for the primacy of pronunciation.
Due to the fact that it is not completely clear who is first, the authors come to a brilliant solution: “God is in the details” and so on. -- "ancient saying Germans and French and it is no longer possible to identify the original author..."
Other options:
- it was an expression Seems, was a favorite of the German art historian Aby Warburg (1866-1929), although Warburg's biographer, E. M. Gombrich, does not confirm that it was Warburg who invented it.
-- formerly the form "Le Bon Dieu Est Dans Le Detail" (the good God is in the details) attributed to Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880)
-- in obituary " The New York Times" in 1969 mentions this catchphrase-- “God is hidden in small details” and associate him with the architect of the modern glass-skyscraper style - this is the architect German origin Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886-1969).
It is unknown who replaced God with the devil.
There are dozens of ways to paraphrase and invent the meaning of the expression:
God is in the details and the devil is in the extremes
The devil is in the details, the whole machine belongs to God.
Overcoming the difficult begins with the easy, achieving the great begins with the small.
"Everything starts small and ends with the Universe"
God and the devil are an inseparable whole.
The devil is in the details, details and shades.
Little things can be ignored and forgiven, but extremes can be either loved or hated.
...
In general, as in any aphorism, there is an abyss of meaning.
The devil/God is in the details.
Der Teufel steckt im Detail.
Le bon Dieu est dans le detail.
============
It is curious that the figurative expression formed the basis of a huge number of jokes (and then anecdotes related to the fact that inattentive person in a dialogue with the cunning Devil, he misses some important detail.
The devil is the first liar and the father of lies, “the doctor of lies, since lies were invented by himself” (Weier, On Deceit, ch. 3, § 4).
The devil, after Christ’s victory over him, lost his right to man and therefore cannot act by force: he “can deceive people, but can no longer subjugate them by force” (Isidore of Pelusium. Epistle CLIV: Anatoly the Deacon. Col. 1239).
That is why in medieval legends there are so few cases of direct material, gross influence of the devil on a person: demons act here through temptation and deception.
There are many such stories and parables (Pact with the Devil), but there are also many stories about man deceiving the devil
In "The Life of St. Basil the Great,” the devil is indignant at the infidelity of Christians: “You Christians are clever at subterfuge, when you need me, you come to me; when they begin to persecute you, you renounce me and approach your Christ, and he, as kind and merciful, accepts you” (Sar. VIII. Col. 302-303).
The queen of the Frankish kingdom of Austrasia Brungo (7th century) signed a treaty with Satan, according to which he had to build a road in one night, before the rooster crowed. However, the queen made the rooster crow at the very moment when the devil was carrying the last stone to its intended place.
As a result, the contract was broken (Collin de Plancy, 121).
Master Gerard, the legendary builder of the unfinished Cologne Cathedral, received a construction plan from the devil in exchange for a corresponding agreement; but Gerard, grabbing with one hand the plan extended by the devil, with the other hand presented the evil relics of Saint Ursula, which put him to flight - however, the devil, recoiling from the relics, tore out the most valuable piece from the plan, so the cathedral remained unfinished (Collin de Plancy, 301).
A certain Jack and the devil were building a bridge near Kentmouth; everything they built at night collapsed during the day, but the devil finally completed the bridge on the condition that he would receive the soul of the first creature to cross the bridge; Jack threw a bone across the bridge, and a dog ran across him (Russell, Lucifer, 74).
In the French version of this legend - about the Saint-Cloud bridge in Paris - a black cat is the first to cross the bridge (Givry, 150).
The devil built a house for a shoemaker, flattered by the promise that the shoemaker would give him his soul as soon as the lit candle burned out; the shoemaker blows out the candle before it burns out, and the devil is left with nothing (Russell, Lucifer, 74).
Nostradamus signed an agreement with the devil, according to which he must belong to the devil after death, both if he is buried in the church and if he is buried outside it. The foresight of the devil, who insisted on this clause, turned out to be a trap for him: the cunning prophet ordered in his will that his coffin be walled up in the wall of the sacristy. It turned out that Nostradamus was buried neither in the church nor outside it, and the contract, naturally, was terminated (Collin de Plancy, 494).
Rabbi Joshua Ben-Levi, dying, asks the devil to show him at least the entrance to heaven - the devil agrees, but the rabbi, seeing the gates of heaven, rushes towards them, enters heaven and swears “in the name of the living God” that he will never leave here. God has no choice but to agree with him. Thus the rabbi “deceives” both the devil and God (Collen de Plancy, 379).
An innovative, albeit completely suicidal, position was taken on this issue by Johann Faust, who (according to the testimony of the Thuringian and Erfurt chronicles of Z. Hogel; folk book gives the same version - Faust, 109) deliberately refused to break the contract with the devil, not wanting to deceive him: “My oath bound me tightly: after all, in my insolence I despised God, treacherously abandoned him, trusting more in the devil than in him. Therefore, I cannot now return to him, nor be consoled by his mercy, which I so frivolously despised. Moreover, it would be dishonest and dishonorable to break the agreement that I personally sealed with my blood. After all, the devil honestly kept everything he promised me” (Testimony of Faust, 32).
But the brightest page is about how the devil (Satan, damn... sometimes his role is played by a fairy) hides some little things in the details... but then, as a result, it turns out that the person missed some point that could have foreseen it, but due to many distractions or the depravity of the person himself, he did not take this detail into account, which turns out to be funny in itself.
And here I would divide jokes into two large categories.
One is anecdotes about how a person did not take into account “The Devil is in the Details” because of his depravity.
The second is anecdotes about how the devil presented many distracting details due to which a person became confused and made the wrong choice.
According to the first category exists great amount anecdotes - perhaps they trace their history to the transactions of a blacksmith, a priest, some high-ranking aristocrat with the devil, but in modern interpretation This joke is originally dedicated to a lawyer.
Short version:
The devil came to the lawyer and immediately proposed a deal: “You will win all the trials, you will become the richest man on earth, but at the same time all your relatives will die and go to hell.” Time to think until tomorrow - think. The devil has disappeared, the lawyer sits with his head in his hands and argues intensely. - So this means: I will win all cases. Let's put it. I will become the richest man on earth. Let's say. All my relatives will die... I don’t understand what he wants to catch me with.
I have many versions of this joke - the first time I changed it for the sake of Navalny) (therefore for the sake of Poroshenko and for the sake of Russian football players):
The devil appeared to a Russian football player, for example, Kokorin, and said:
- You are a disgusting football player. You will be kicked out of the National Team, and you will not score another goal, but I can help you! You will still receive huge fees, relax at luxury resorts, drink the most expensive champagne, and even during the anthem you will not need to get up. The only condition is that you can no longer touch the soccer ball... Don’t rush to answer, think... Tomorrow I’ll come for the answer.
With these words the devil disappeared.
Kokorin was left alone and began to think:
- So! I will still receive huge fees, relax at luxury resorts, drink the most expensive champagne, and even during the anthem I will not have to get up... But at the same time I will not be allowed to touch the soccer ball...
- Crap! Once again... fees, resorts, champagne... but you can't touch the ball...
- Crap!!! What does he want to catch me with?
==============
The metamorphoses of this anecdote reached H. Clinton:
Hillary's election campaign ends and then the devil suddenly appears in front of her:
"I'm here to offer you a deal. I'll give you unlimited wealth, more power, more money." mass media who will indulge your every whim. In exchange, I ask for your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents."
Hillary thinks for a moment, then asks: “Unlimited wealth and power?”
“Absolutely unlimited,” says the devil.
"Pandering to the media?"
“They will ride and support you, no matter what you say or do,” the devil assures.
"And you want my soul, the souls of my family, and the souls of my constituents?"
"Yes.
Hillary thinks deeply for a moment and responds:
"So... Well, what's the catch?"
========================
For the second category - classic version is:
The man dies and goes to hell. The Devil says that he must choose a room in hell where he must spend the rest of eternity.
A man enters the first room and sees a bunch of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor.
He thinks - "No way. I can't do this forever."
He enters the second room and sees people standing on their heads on a metal (or concrete) floor.
He thinks, "I definitely can't do this forever."
Enter the third - a bunch of people standing knee-deep in shit, drinking coffee and peacefully talking.
He says to himself, "...well, I think I can get used to the smell."
He makes a choice, gets a cup of coffee, gets acquainted with those present, but after 10 minutes the devil appears and says:
"Okay, coffee break is over. Let's go back to the headstand."
Another option:
The man dies and goes to hell. There, Lucifer, asking him to choose one of three punishments, leads him into the first room. A man sees sinners hanging in chains over a fire and refuses. In the second room, he sees sinners up to their necks in ice, and wasps fly around and sting them directly on their shaved heads (bandits?). The man refuses this too, and Lucifer takes him to the third room. There, men see sinners knee-deep in shit, but quite calmly reading newspapers and even drinking coffee. And he decided to choose the lesser of all evils. He also took a newspaper, a cup of coffee, sat, read, and sipped coffee. Suddenly the devil appears and says:
- All rest is over, it's time to turn upside down.
Russian short translated version:
The man went to Hell. Looks - two rooms. In one devils over people
they scoff, in another - three men stand knee-deep in shit and smoke deliciously.
But you need to choose one. Without hesitation he went to the men for a cigarette
shot, and also stood up with them. They are smoking, and suddenly a huge devil runs in:
- Okay, guys, the smoke break is over! LET'S FINISH IT!
one of the first jokes from the second category, according to the professor Jewish origin Mark Parakh, who emigrated to the USA, was invented in the USSR.
It seems to me that he is mistaken and the joke was invented by American Sovietologists:
Brezhnev died and was sent to hell.
Given his lifetime achievements, the devil allowed Brezhnev to choose torture for himself.
Brezhnev looks into one room - there is Stalin in a bath with boiling water, then he sees Hitler, hanging upside down over the fire.
Then he sees Khrushchev holding Marilyn Monroe on his lap.
"Oh," says Brezhnev. “I choose the same torture as Khrushchev!”
Devil: “Unfortunately, Brezhnev, it is not Khrushchev who is being tortured here. This is torture for Marilyn Monroe.”
This category has been developed in many different variants:
Barack Obama dies and immediately goes to hell. The devil greets him joyfully, but explains:
"I don't know what to do with you here.
You're on my list, but I don't have room for you.
You should definitely stay here, so I'll explain what I'll do.
Several other people, not as bad as you, went to hell. I'll let one of them go to heaven. His you'll take your place you, but I let you choose which one.”
Satisfied with this situation, Obama goes to choose.
Opens the first room - there is Ted Kennedy ["Democratic Icon"] trying to get something from the bottom of the pool.
Time after time he dives under the water, but each time he comes up empty-handed.
This is his fate in hell.
"No," says Obama. "I don't think it's right for me. I'm not a very good swimmer, and I don't think I can dive for forever."
The devil leads him to the door to the next room.
There are stones everywhere and Al Gore [another famous democrat - laureate Nobel Prize peace] with a sledgehammer. All he does is rapidly swing the sledgehammer to break the stone. But unable to hit the stone, Horus stops, then again makes a senseless swing. And so all eternity
"No, this is not good. I have a shoulder injury and I will be hysterical if all I can do is try to hit a rock for ages," Obama commented.
The devil opened the third door.
Obama saw Bill Clinton stretched out on the bed, his hands tied above his head, his legs spread out to the sides. Monica Lewinsky is leaning over him, doing what she does best.
Obama looks on in shock and disbelief and finally says, "Yeah, I guess I can handle this."
The devil smiles and says:
"Okay, Monica, you're free to go."
===============
Longest option:
The politician dies and finds himself in front of the pearly gates of Purgatory.
St. Peter stares at him for a second, runs his finger down the list of names in his book, and finds the name he wants.
“So, you’re a politician...” he pauses.
"Well, yeah, is that a problem?"
"Oh no, no problem. But we just accepted new system ratings from people in your profile, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in hell. After that, however, you are free to choose where you want to spend the rest of eternity."
"Wait, do I have to spend a day in hell?" - the politician is trying to start an argument.
“These are the rules,” St. Peter sums up, snaps his fingers, the guy disappears... And he wakes up, curled up in fear and covering his eyes with his hands, realizing that he will now see all the horrors of Hell that he was warned about in earthly life.
But he doesn’t hear any of the expected screams of pain and doesn’t smell the sulfur.
On the contrary, it seems to smell like freshly cut grass or an apple with mint.
"Open your eyes!" - he hears a good-natured voice, - “Don’t be afraid, get up, get up, we only have 24 hours.”
With fear, he opens his eyes, looks around and sees that he is in a huge hotel room.
Everything looks amazing - the furniture, the ceilings, the lighting.
Wait, this is a penthouse...
Opposite, a smiling man in a smart suit is sipping a martini.
"Who are you?" asks the politician.
“Mmmm, I’m Satan. That’s how it is,” says the man, handing him a martini and helping him stand up, “Welcome to hell!”
"Wait, is this hell? But... Where is all the pain and suffering?"
Satan looks at him reproachfully:
"Oh, this place has been a little mis-positioned over the years. It's Long story. Bad marketing, gossip and slander.
Either way, this is your number now! The minibar is of course free. Extra towels next to the hot tub. If you need anything, any little thing, just call the maid. But enough about that! It's a beautiful day, and if you're interested in taking a look at what's outside..."
Stunned by the luxurious surroundings, the politician approaches the wall-sized windows, which he hits dazzling sun, sees a huge golf course below, and a little to the side the sea.
A group of people is standing on the field and waving to him friendly.
Satan explains:
"A short drive to the beach and harbor. If necessary, there is a yacht waiting for you there"
The politician gets dressed and, descending in a transparent elevator, passes through the sparkling lobby, where everyone is greeted and Satan signs autographs and jokes with the staff.
On the golf course are all his friends who have passed away, as well as people whom the politician admired all his life but never met (their careers ended long before he entered politics).
He is separated from the group deceased wife, but with the figure that she had at 20 years old.
She smiles and throws herself on his neck.
Everyone rejoices and applauds, pats him on the back and makes friendly jokes.
He spends the day in the bright sunshine, talking in interesting topics, joking around. And his wife, who admires him, is always nearby.
Later they return to the hotel, where for dinner they find themselves in a restaurant with gourmet food and Gandhi (telling about the truth) with Marilyn Monroe for company).
They laugh, they drink, the wife whispers something in her ear... they return to their penthouse and spend the rest of the night making love as fiercely as they ever did on their honeymoon.
After 6 hours of passion, a person falls on Egyptian 100% cotton pillows and falls asleep completely happy...
And wakes up next to Saint Peter.
"So you spent 24 hours in hell. I'm sure it wasn't what you expected?"
"It was truly amazing!" says the man.
“So,” says St. Peter, “Now you can make your choice. Where do you want to spend the rest of eternity - in Hell, where you just visited, or in Heaven, where the wonderful sounds choral singing, where you can talk to God, all the people in white robes, and so on."
“Well... I know this will sound strange, but I think I'd prefer hell,” says the politician.
"No problem. We completely understand and accept your choice! Enjoy!" St. Peter says and snaps his fingers again.
A man wakes up in complete darkness, the stench of ammonia fills the air, around in the darkness there is a terrible squeal, scream and moan.
He sees in the glow of the flames people unsuccessfully trying to swim out of the huge sulfur ocean.
Suddenly lightning illuminates Satan next to him.
He wears the same suit as before, but now he grins evilly, and in his hands he has a soldering iron and a roll of barbed wire.
"What is this??" - the politician shouts, trembling. He is crying.
"Where is the hotel?? Where is my wife??? Where is the minibar, golf courses, swimming pool, restaurant, Gandhi and sunshine???"
“Ah,” says Satan. "Yesterday you watched the election campaign. But today, you have already voted..."
One of latest options for the first category of jokes:
The Little Russian is sitting in a hut, there is little gas, little money, his wife has to earn extra money as a whore in Russia.
Complete hopelessness. Suddenly Satan appears in the middle of the hut: “I help all the desperate, I give you the opportunity to make two wishes: for yourself and for your wife.”
The Little Russian jumped up with joy and answered:
“I want the gas to disappear from Muscovites.”
Satan:
"Are you sure about making the right choice? After all, you will become even poorer? Is that better?
The crest replies: “Better, because the Muscovite will get worse.”
No sooner said than done. Gas disappeared in Russia, and then in Ukraine. The Little Russian became even poorer.
- Make a second wish now, just don’t get it wrong. - says Satan.
“I want all Muscovites’ wives to start working as prostitutes.” May it be as bad for them as it was for me.
- Eh, you shouldn’t be doing that. After all, now you will become even poorer, your wife may be kicked out of work because of competition.
— Nothing, but it’s worse for Muscovites.
No sooner said than done. All Russian wives became prostitutes.
Satan has disappeared, the Little Russian sits alone in the hut, saddened.
I missed this opportunity and became even poorer. What should I tell my wife now?
My wife came.
- Darling, I have bad and good news.
- Let's go with the bad ones.
“Muscovites’ gas has disappeared and your virtues have become cheaper.”
- So we are even poorer now. Well, give me good news, don't disappoint.
— Muscovites have lost their gas.