Rice. 1

Using the "symboldrama" method

as a way to diagnose the dynamics of sexual identity in men

S.A. Martynenko (Kharkov), Ya.L. Obukhov (Moscow) 1

The symboldrama technique, proposed by the German psychotherapist Hanscarl Leuner (1921-1996), is one of the modern methods of psychotherapy, which is focused on depth psychology 2.

Until recently, in domestic sexopathology, analytically oriented methods were opposed to the academic classical clinical approach to understanding the dynamics of development and the formation of sexual desire (libido). However, a detailed study of the possibilities of using the “symboldrama” method in the clinical practice of a sex therapist made it possible to identify the unconditional connection between the basic concepts of classical sexology and the patterns of development of the image of the corresponding motif used in the symboldrama technique.

The purpose of this work is to show how the dynamics of the development of imaginative processes when presenting images using the symboldrama technique, reflecting the deep characteristics of the personality, directly corresponds to the main phases of the development of sexual libido, described by prof. G.S. Vasilchenko (General sexopathology. Edited by G.S. Vasilchenko, 1977). Vasilchenko defines “libido” (Latin for “attraction”, “desire”, “lust”) more narrowly than is customary in psychoanalysis. As you know, in psychoanalysis, libido is the energy, the basis of all transformations of sexual desire. In analytical psychology K.G. Jung's concept of “libido” is used in an expanded sense and means “psychic energy” as such (Laplanche J.; Pontalis J.-B., 1996). According to Vasilchenko, sexual libido for a man is an interest in a woman as a sexual partner and a desire to have sexual intercourse with her (General Sexopathology. Edited by G.S. Vasilchenko, 1977). Vasilchenko identifies the following phases of libido development:

conceptual libido - it is characterized by an abstract (conceptual) attitude towards a woman and a lack of sensory experience; a boy, a youth, a man only thinks about a woman in accordance with his abstract ideas;

platonic libido - this stage of preference, admiration, idealization of a woman; it is characterized by the ability of a young man or man to choose one woman to whom all thoughts, desires, feelings are dedicated - like “... a knight in a picture who looks at the stars and waits” (N. Gumilyov); the negative side of the platonic stage of libido development is that the sensual component of sexual relations is seen as dirty and sinful;

erotic libido – it is characterized by tactile touches, superficial (without touching the genitals) and deep (with touching the genitals) petting;

sexual libido, during which sexual intercourse occurs;

mature sexuality is the ability to create a stable relationship with a permanent partner, which makes it possible not only to satisfy sexual needs, but also allows you to realize the need to create a family; mature sexuality presupposes the ability to self-restraint and restraint.

These phases of the development of sexual libido characterize, first of all, the process of ontogenesis, when a child, a teenager, and then an adult successively develop an interest in the opposite sex, first on a conceptual, then on a romantic, then on an erotic and, ultimately, on a sexual level. At the same time, the sequence of phases of sexual libido described by Vasilchenko is also characteristic of the development of feelings towards a specific object of love. First, feelings are experienced on a platonic level, then on a romantic level, then erotic rapprochement occurs, and only then the relationship reaches a sexual level. Reaching a more mature phase of sexual libido does not negate the previous phases. They continue to play an important role in the complex set of sexual relationships, forming the basis for more mature relationships. Combinations of different phases of sexual libido are always possible. Having formally moved on to the next phase of development of sexual libido, a person can essentially internally remain at the previous stages.

Identifying the phases of development of sexual libido is important for conducting psychotherapy for sexual behavior disorders, which can be caused by fixation, being stuck at an intermediate stage of libido development, or a situation where, during the development of a relationship with a woman, some phase is missed or insufficiently lived. In such cases, as clinical experience shows, the experience of subsequent phases will not be stable.

Clinical practice undeniably proves the far-fetched opposition of classical, academic methods of domestic sexopathology and modern psychoanalytically oriented methods of psychotherapy and provides grounds for using symbol drama as a method of treatment and diagnosis. The symboldrama method turned out to be especially effective for people with pronounced imaginative thinking. It also allows for therapeutic and diagnostic work with patients who have difficulty expressing their emotions and experiences at the verbal level, who find it very difficult to express their inner attitude towards women, especially in cases where it is necessary to identify subtle nuances of internal perception, assessment, attitude towards a woman as an intimate partner. The above also applies to the inability to obtain from the patient any generalizations regarding his internal attitude towards a woman as the opposite sex.

In applying the symboldrama method to diagnose the dynamics of sexual identity in men, we used the motif proposed by H. Leiner “ rose bush”, when the patient is asked to imagine a rose bush at the edge of a meadow, and then pick one flower from it (Leuner H., 1994; Leuner H., 1996). The symbol of a rose bush or wild rose at the edge of a meadow is deeply connected with the German archetypal culture on which H. Leiner relied. Particularly popular in Germany is the poem by I.V. Goethe's "Wild Rose", which every schoolchild knows by heart, and romances are performed to its words.

The boy saw a rose

A rose in an open field,

He ran close to her,

The aroma drank her in,

I admired it to my heart's content.

Rose, rose, scarlet color,

Rose in an open field!

"Rose, I will break you,

Rose in an open field!

"Boy, I'll prick you,

So that you remember me!

I can't stand the pain."

Rose, rose, scarlet color,

Rose in an open field!

He tore it, forgetting fear,

A rose in an open field.

The blood was red on the thorns.

But she - alas and ah! –

I couldn't escape the pain.

Rose, rose, scarlet color,

Rose in an open field!

(Translation by D. Usov)

What is important is what the flowers look like, the patient's hesitation to pick a flower (“The rose will hurt…”), his fear of getting pricked, etc. This motive is central to the treatment of sexual disorders.

Our research has shown that in Slavic culture the motif “ rose bush"also turned out to be diagnostically and psychotherapeutically highly effective. At the same time, we have identified the following stages in the development of the imagination process, which are essential for the development of the diagnostic process.

After a preliminary conversation with the patient sitting in a comfortable chair or lying on the couch, a relaxation exercise is carried out using a method close to autogenic training according to J. Schultz 3 . After which the patient is asked to present “ meadow».

After the image appears, the patient gives its general characteristics, including both detailed details and feelings and subjective assessments of the image as a whole. You should ask the patient about the weather, time of year, time of day; about the size of the meadow, about what is located along its edges, about the vegetation in the meadow. The image of a meadow is a maternal-oral symbol, reflecting both the connection with the mother and the dynamics of the experiences of the first year of life, as well as the current state, the general background of the mood. The mood factor can be represented by the nature of the weather, time of day and time of year. Normally, this is the summer season or late spring, day or morning, the weather is good, the sun is in the sky; There is rich, lush vegetation around, represented by an abundance of herbs and flowers; the meadow is welcoming, even gentle, flooded with bright sunlight (Leiner H., 1996; Obukhov Ya.L., 1997).

After 3-5 minutes of working on the technique of the motive “ meadow“The patient is asked to look around and see if there is a rose bush somewhere. As a rule, the rose bush appears somewhere on the edge of the meadow. The patient is asked to describe it in detail. This description makes it possible to explore the conceptual phase of the development of sexual libido according to Vasilchenko’s classification.

At this stage, the patient is instructed to choose one of the rose colors that he likes best. The patient gives a detailed description of the chosen flower and indicates the reasons for his preference. Particularly important is the subjective emotional feeling tone associated with the object of choice. According to Vasilchenko’s classification, this stage corresponds to the platonic phase of libido development.

Difficulties in choosing a specific flower on a rose bush can be caused by fixation on the combination of conceptual, erotic and sexual phases of libido development with underdevelopment of the platonic phase. Symboldrama opens up the possibility of carrying out appropriate diagnostics and psychocorrection.

The flower should be outlined in all details, describe its color, size, shape, describe what is visible if you look into the flower's cup, etc. The color of a rose can reflect the degree of sexual maturity. It is believed that the color red evokes the strongest emotions in a person. The combination of red, yellow and orange is considered the sexiest. Pink flowers can symbolize infantility, “pink dreams”, the desire for others to treat you like a child; yellow roses can be associated with jealousy; white roses - chastity, platonic, spiritual relationships, idealization; orange roses are a symbol of personal strength and possible suppression of others. The leaves on the stem symbolize vital force or lack thereof. The stem itself symbolizes the phallic principle, the support, the core of the personality. The thorns on the stem of a rose symbolize the dangers that accompany passion. If there are too many of them in the patient’s imagination, then such a person is in the grip of fear and exaggerates the dangers. If there are no thorns or there are very few of them, then such a person neglects the dangers associated with sexual relations, does not notice them, and is too frivolous.

A 35-year-old patient, married with two children, on a business trip away from home, imagined a rose bush with delicate small pink flowers far away on the edge of the meadow, which he associated with his relationship with his wife and which he wanted to approach. But after taking a few steps, he smelled a strong scent of roses to his left. Turning around, he saw a bush of luxurious red and scarlet roses. The patient decided to “go left” to the red bush, which revealed a problem of choice associated with the underdevelopment of the platonic phase of sexual libido.

Rice. 2

At the next stage, the patient is asked to try to touch the stem with the tip of his finger in his imagination, run along it, touch the thorns, leaves, petals of the flower and, finally, inhale the aroma of the rose. The patient is asked about his feelings and sensations. It is also important to describe the emotional tone that comes directly from the flower. Accordingly, the erotic phase of libido development according to Vasilchenko is studied.

Next, the patient is asked to pick or cut a rose, which symbolically characterizes the formation of the sexual phase of libido development. For some patients (who have not reached, according to Vasilchenko’s classification, the sexual phase of libido development) this is especially difficult to do. Sometimes the patient feels sorry that the rose will be hurt (fixation at the platonic stage of libido development, when physical intimacy and sexual intercourse are considered something dirty). Others are afraid of being pricked by thorns (they have an exaggerated sense of danger in the face of possible unpleasant consequences of sexual intimacy). One of our patients imagined many small needles on the stem of a rose, like on a cactus. He knew that, on the one hand, it didn’t hurt so much and he could endure it. But if he picks a rose, he will then have to remove the unpleasant needles from his fingers for a long time. However, this did not stop him from picking the flower. In life, the patient was also prone to risk and was ready to endure possible troubles associated with sexual relations.

By the way the patient reacts to the proposal to pick a rose, one can judge the degree of his sexual maturity, as demonstrated by the following two examples from the practice of H. Leiner.

H. Leiner worked with a young man of 18 years old who had not yet reached full male maturity, which was reflected in the presentation of “ rose bush", as can be seen from the following protocol: "I see a beautiful wide rose bush. The flowers are all white. I really like them, there is something pleasant, gentle, closed about them.” (Therapist: “Are they still closed, or have some already opened?”) “No, they are still closed, many are only in bud.” (Therapist: “Are they all white, or are there also some pink or maybe red flowers among them?”) “No, they are all completely white and delicate. I love white roses much more than pink or red ones.” (Therapist: “Could you pick one of the roses to put in a vase on your table at home?”) “No, I wouldn’t want that, they’re too tender, and so chaste. I think it would be bad to tear them up here. Maybe they won't bloom at all in my vase. You just can’t touch them.” (Leuner H., 1994, p. 177)

H. Leiner notes that no special art of interpretation is required, everything is already contained in the expressions of our speech. The buds symbolize unpreparedness for sexual relations, immaturity. White color symbolizes chastity, platonic relationships.

And another example: H. Leiner offered the same test to a man who traveled a lot on various trips. When H. Leiner asked him to introduce “ rose bush“, instead of a bush, he immediately imagined a crystal vase standing in his room. The vase was full of large, fragrant roses that had already been cut. They had already fully opened, individual petals were already falling on some, which indicated, on the one hand, that “picking a rose” did not pose any problem for him, the roses themselves were already ready, and on the other hand, there was already some satiety with sexual relations. (Leuner H., 1994, p. 177)

One of the reasons for the impossibility of picking a rose (for example, a rose to which the patient reaches out his hand bursts into flames and burns in front of the patient) may be an unresolved oedipal dependence on the mother. The man, on an unconscious level, continues to treat his mother as an object of infantile sexual affection. All his love belongs to her. The incest taboo is automatically activated - an unconscious ban on sexual relations with the mother. Therefore, associated with love for the mother, the rose is often represented as a chaste white color. Such men usually like women in whom they unconsciously “see” a mother, but in relation to whom they internally cannot allow themselves to perform sexual actions. Unresolved oedipal dependence on the mother, experienced on an unconscious level, can be the cause of erectile dysfunction. Conducting psychotherapy using the symboldrama method allows you to emotionally work through the oedipal conflict and overcome erectile dysfunction.

The patient imagined a field of white roses ( rice. 3). A meadow, a field is a symbol of mother, a rose is a symbol of love. In the patient's unconscious, all love belongs to the mother. But due to the taboo on incest, the attitude towards the mother cannot be erotic or sexual. Therefore, the patient's libido is fixed at a platonic level, symbolized by the white color of the roses in the field. When the psychotherapist suggested that he look for pink or red roses somewhere, the patient said that outside the meadow (that is, outside the relationship with his mother) he “sees” red roses. But even there he had difficulties when he needed to pick a flower. The stem of the rose turned into a long rope with an anchor at the end, which, like an umbilical cord, connected it to the ground. The depth psychological approach to understanding symbolism, adopted in symbol drama, believes that the earth, “the mother of the damp earth”, are the most important oral-maternal symbols. The patient is unconsciously connected by a symbolic umbilical cord to the mother's body.

When used diagnostically, the director's principles of conducting imagination should contain a minimum of imperativeness, which makes it possible to assess the differentiation of the phases of libido development, their harmony and centrality. With passive, creative disclosure of the image, it is possible to explore the mechanisms of regression and fixation of libido in its systemic understanding. A classic example of such fixation is the inability to choose a specific flower (a variant of field behavior, a violation at the stage of the conceptual-erotic phase), or the inability to pick a flower you like because of the pain caused to it (fixation in the platonic-erotic phase, fear of sexual relations, idealization partners).

R is. 3

At the last stage, the patient is asked to take the rose into the house and place it there, which also sometimes causes difficulties for the patient. At home, the patient puts a rose in water and admires it (from a symbolic point of view, it is important whether the patient wants to trim the stem of the rose, add something to the water to make the rose stand better, etc.). This symbolically characterizes the development of mature sexuality, that is, the ability to create a stable relationship with a permanent partner, which is necessary to realize the need to create a family. For example, some men take a rose with roots, which symbolizes the intention to “take” a woman with all her roots, relatives, and loved ones. Others believe that the partner must first be raised by correcting what her parents did not do. They constantly pull back and correct their partner (“don’t talk so much on the phone”), make decisions for her, impose their idea of ​​happiness on her and push her to take appropriate actions, demonstrate that they do not respect her intellectual abilities (“you won’t understand this”) , disrespect her tastes (“how can you listen to such music”). In an image, this can manifest itself in the fact that the stem of the rose must first be cut, burned on fire, broken with a hammer, etc.

One patient, married with two children, deeply and sincerely loving his wife, picked a rose from a flower bed, brought it home and put it in a vase in the bedroom. For the rest of the time he admired her. Only here the rose bloomed in all its glory. The patient is characterized by mature sexuality with established choices and a stable value system.

It is a mistaken opinion that psychoanalysts reduce all manifestations of human life exclusively to the manifestation of sexual instinct. Mature sexuality, from the point of view of modern psychoanalysis, presupposes not only biological potency and the ability to experience orgasm, but also a whole range of psychological characteristics that a person needs to love and be loved. German psychoanalyst Peter Kutter, director of the Institute of Psychoanalysis. Z. Freud in Frankfurt am Main, in his “Review of psychoanalytic theories of drive and their further development” (Kutter P., 1992) includes the following factors:

1. The ability to take into account and respect the personality of another person.

2. Quite high self-esteem.

3. Relative independence and autonomy.

4. The ability for empathy, i.e. sympathy and empathize into the state of another person.

5. The ability to partially identify with another person.

6. The ability to establish, maintain and maintain relationships with other people.

7. It is necessary to pass safely phases separation And individuation by M. Mahler.

8. The ability to perceive feelings “involved” in love, as well as the ability to develop them.

9. Must be safely reached and passed " depressive position» according to M. Klein, i.e. the ability to perceive oneself and others as potentially “good” and “bad.”

10. Described by D.V. Winnicott ability to be alone.

11. Must be largely overcome oedipal conflicts.

12. Relationships with your loved one should not be overly burdened transfer And projections from early childhood, and should also be relatively free from object dependency.

13. Must have a positive attitude towards your own body.

14. It is necessary to be able to experience such feelings as joy, pain And sadness.

15. It is necessary to get rid of pathological fixations at unresolved stages of development in childhood.

16. Must be properly compensated and leveled deficits in previous development.

The above technique can be carried out in various modifications, depending on the tasks of the psychotherapist. Using the motif " rose bush"proved to be highly effective in the treatment of psychogenic erectile dysfunction, as the following example from our practice shows.

A patient approached us, a mechanical technician by profession, 51 years old, 30 years married, two children, 27 and 18 years old. He lives with his wife in a separate apartment and is satisfied with the living conditions. He is short (170 cm), plump, with a bald head. The reason for the treatment was dullness of orgasm and decreased erection, which did not allow insertion of the penis without additional manual manipulation.

TI 1.95 (trochanteric index - the ratio of height and leg length). Female pattern pubic hair. Male sexual formula according to Vasilchenko (SFM) 232-123-211-1 7/6/4/1 total indicator 18 (rather low indicators). Congestion in the prostate gland was observed. One of the suspected reasons for decreased erection is a lower back injury.

He recalls that interest in a woman as a sexual partner and the desire to have sexual intercourse with her (libido) appeared at about 12 years of age. The first ejaculation occurred during sexual intercourse at the age of 14. Masturbated from age 15 to 21 about twice a week. Masturbation was of a substitution type, because there was no woman. From 17 to 21 years old he practiced superficial and deep petting. I received information about sex life from friends. The first sexual intercourse was at the age of 20, I regarded it as too fast. The frequency of sexual intercourse before marriage was approximately twice a week. He got married at the age of 21. He chose his wife based on her external and spiritual attractiveness. My wife's sexuality was awakened immediately. After the honeymoon marriage, the frequency of sexual intercourse was 3-4 times a week. I entered a conditional physiological rhythm (CPR), i.e. 2-3 sexual intercourse per week, almost immediately, which is one of the signs of a weak sexual constitution (during the honeymoon, the frequency of sexual intercourse sometimes reaches seven intercourse per day). The maximum excess (the number of sexual acts ending in ejaculation per day) did not exceed two. The last time he had two sexual intercourse ending in ejaculation in a day was when he was 45 years old. Withstands withdrawal easily for 14 days. Withdrawal is manifested by pain in the testicles, and emissions appear against the background of withdrawal. The mood before sexual intercourse is usually bad and anxious. The duration of sexual intercourse is 5-7 minutes. At the time of treatment, morning spontaneous erections persisted.

The patient prefers a wide range of acceptability (different positions, non-traditional forms of satisfying sexual needs, oral-genital and oral-anal caresses), however, in a married couple, due to the position of the wife, the range of acceptability is narrow, which is one of the factors of disharmony in marital relations. The patient's preferred time for sexual intercourse is 4 a.m. The positions of sexual intercourse suit him. The couple is protected from unwanted pregnancy using the calendar method according to the phases of the menstrual cycle.

The patient is not satisfied with the wife’s behavior before sexual intercourse, since the wife does not increase his sexual arousal with her actions and caresses. However, the sexual act itself and sexual relations in general suit him. At the same time, on an unconscious level, the relationship with the spouse as a whole does not correspond to the desires and expectations of the patient.

The patient has the phenomenon of “loss of the penis in the vagina”, since after childbirth the wife did not train the vaginal muscles to contract using the W.H. technique. Masters and V.E. Johnson.

The attitude in sex is characterized by the sociocultural myth of “Madonna and the Harlot”: he would like to have a wife pure, like Madonna, feminine and faithful, and to have sex with a depraved harlot, sensual, accessible, flirtatious. The patient has a gaming type of sexual motivation: he loves play, fantasy, creativity in sexual relationships, and loves to experiment. Psychosocial type – “man-child”. In communication with her husband, the wife takes the position of “accuser” (according to V. Satir). The patient demonstrates an infantile type of attachment.

He loves his wife, the worldview and beliefs of the spouses correspond to each other, and their moral attitudes also correspond to each other. This is largely what keeps them together. On the whole, he is also satisfied with his wife’s role position in the family. There are no extramarital affairs. He explains his loyalty to his wife by the fact that there was no desire to cheat, there was no need for other women. Sometimes conflicts that arise with my wife are related to the family budget.

Considers his appearance to make contact with women difficult, including for the purpose of getting closer (short, fat, bald).

Five sessions of psychotherapy were conducted, which included three sessions of rational psychotherapy, one session using the symboldrama method (motive “ rose bush") and one session using hypnosis.

In the fourth session, the patient was asked to imagine “ rose bush"according to the symboldrama method. The patient imagined red and yellow flowers growing directly from the parquet floor. The image was unstable, the patient tried in vain to hold on to it. An attack of nervous trembling began. The patient sitting in the chair was pounding so hard that he had to frantically cling to the armrests. The incident made a strong emotional impression on the patient. This was followed by an analytical discussion that allowed him to become aware of his problems and also to respond emotionally to them. As a result, the patient regained his erection. At the next, last fifth session, he happily reported his recovery. To consolidate the effect obtained and diagnose the current state, a light hypnosis session was conducted, during which the image of a rose bush spontaneously arose. This time the image was stable. There were many different flowers on the bush. The patient felt joy and pride that he could easily imagine and hold the image of any roses.

Rose is without a doubt the true queen of beauty among flowers. A blooming rose is like a person who is ready for constant development, open to encounters with everything new, unknown and interesting. Psychologists who practice the symboldrama method are sure: by looking into an opening pink bud, we have the opportunity to see a lot of fascinating and unexpected things there, get answers to important questions and, perhaps, even discover ourselves in the very core of the flower... The main thing is to turn on your imagination.

But first, a few words about the symboldrama method itself. It is also called “day dreaming” or “psychoanalysis with the help of images.” The founder of this direction is the German psychotherapist Hanskarl Leiner. And the session goes something like this. A person, comfortably seated in a chair or lying on a couch, is asked to imagine a specific image, for example, a Meadow, a House, a Mountain, a Cave, a Stream, a Forest Edge, or even a Witch on a Broom. The client is asked to completely relax and focus on the visions appearing before his mind's eye, not forgetting to tell the therapist in every detail about everything that is happening in his imagination.

As a result, the client, practically in a trance, lulled by the soft, soothing sound of the therapist’s voice, seems to be talking about a Stream, a Forest Edge or a Flower, but in fact, in a symbolic form, he describes his own life situation.

Now let’s get back to our roses, or rather to the rose bush. This exercise - meditation, with which you can make an amazing journey into your own subconscious and discover your inner reserves for a more harmonious life.

1. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths. In a word, relax.

2. Then imagine a rose bush with many beautiful, blooming flowers and still very small, closed buds... Stop your gaze on one of these unopened buds. It is still surrounded by a green cup, but at the very top you can already see the first peeking pink petal. Focus all your attention on this flower.

3. And now the green cup begins to gradually open. It becomes clear that it consists of individual sepals, which gradually move away from each other, revealing more and more new petals.

4. Finally, all the petals opened - the flower blossomed completely. Feel its wonderful aroma.

5. Then imagine that a ray of sun fell on the rose. It gives its light and warmth to a delicate flower.

6. Look into the very core of the rose. There you will see the face of a certain wise creature. You will immediately feel his kindness, care and love - he wants to help you and knows how to do it.

7. Talk to him about what is most important to you today. Ask the question that worries you most at this moment in life. Maybe you will be given an item or gift. Don't give up on it. Try to make sense of the clues and revelations you receive, even if you don't fully understand their meaning. Perhaps understanding will come later...

8. Now identify yourself with the rose. Realize that she and the wise being living in her are always with you. You can contact them at any time, ask for support, and take advantage of some of their resources and qualities. Because you are this very rose. The forces that breathed life into this flower give you the opportunity to reveal your essence, your inner potential.

9. Then imagine yourself as a rose bush, the roots of which go into the ground, feeding on its juices, and the flowers and leaves are directed towards the sun, basking in its gentle rays. Then open your eyes.

It turns out that many flowers have been symbols of the Higher Spiritual Self since ancient times.
In different cultures these are the most beautiful flowers: lotus (India), golden flower (China), rose (European countries, Persia).

Often the image of the Higher Self is associated with a blooming flower and is used in spiritual practices.

The progressive process itself from bud to blossoming flower symbolically means development, transformation, reaching a higher level, evolution.

Visualization, a step-by-step representation of this metamorphosis - the transformation of a bud into a beautiful rose, helps to launch the process of change and progress through stimulation of the higher spheres of our consciousness.
This opens our spiritual center and channels which release the inner life force.

Execution technique Meditation "Rose Bush".

1. Take a comfortable position. It's better to sit. Close your eyes, achieve complete relaxation, inhale deeply and exhale several times.

2. Create in your imagination a rose bush, strewn with a large number of roses and unopened buds. Fix your attention on one of the buds. It is still covered with green petals, but a light pink tip has already appeared on its top. Focus on this image, the center of your attention is in it.

3. Observe how the green petals of the calyx slowly and smoothly begin to open. They gradually move away from each other and curl downward, revealing to our gaze delicate pink petals that have not yet opened, but the bud is already trembling with the strength and energy contained in it. We see all its beauty and fragility.

4. The pink petals of the bud gradually begin to open. They smoothly and slowly unfold and turn into a blooming rose. Feel the aroma of a blooming flower, inhale and fill all the cells of your body with it.

5. Now imagine that a ray of the rising sun fell on this delicate pink flower. He warms him with his warmth and light. Focus your imagination on this image - on a rose illuminated by the sun.

6. Look into the middle of the rose and you will notice how the face of a wise being appears there, which radiates understanding and love for you.

7. Trust him, tell him what worries you now, what problems you are solving, what difficulties you need to overcome, what choice to make. Take advantage of this moment to understand something important and new for yourself. (Here you can take a break in order to write down this wisdom, feel it, let it pass through yourself, delve into it and reveal it even more.)

8. Now reunite with the rose. You are a pink flower. Realize this. Realize that this rose and spiritual being is always within you. You have access to them at any moment in your life; you can take advantage of their universal wisdom, knowledge, and energy. This life-creating power that created this beautiful flower will allow you to develop your true essence and everything that comes with it.

This helps you understand and follow your true values. Good luck!

For you, the video “How a Rose Blooms.”

P.S. Friends, visit the site, read the latest publications and find out who is in the TOP of the best commentators of the current month.

Year of publication and journal number:

Technique “Playing as a baby” 1)

Introduction and rationale

Rivalry between siblings in preschool age is the result of the arrival of a new child in the family. The stress experienced by older children is especially great if the age difference between them and the newborn is less than three years. T. Field and M. Wright (Field T., Rite M., 1984) note that in the games of preschool children, soon after the birth of a brother or sister, envy, aggressiveness and increased anxiety appear. For an older child, a larger family is associated with a new situation in which parental attention is focused on a younger brother or sister, which is explained not only by the need for the mother to spend most of her time with the newborn, but also by the fact that she is sleep deprived, experiences overwork or postpartum depression .

In this situation, the older child often strives to behave like a baby, thereby unconsciously trying to attract special attention to himself - approximately the same as was given to him when he himself was very small. Instead of discouraging such behavior, you should give the child the opportunity to be a baby again, creating special conditions for him to do this and allocating a certain time. Parents' use of the Baby Game can be effective.

Description of the technique

To carry out the “Baby Game”, the mother will need 15-30 minutes a day. The game is that the mother behaves towards the older child as if he had become a baby again. The child again, like a newborn, feels himself in the center of maternal attention and care, and this can reduce the severity of the feelings of resentment and envy he experiences.

During the game, the mother should not answer the phone in order to give the child as much attention as possible. The game can begin by showing pictures or clothes familiar to him from the first years of life, or by showing video recordings in which he will see himself as a baby. It is possible to offer the child one of those games that were played with him in early childhood. After the game, its participants can embrace each other. Different, individual approaches to the child are applicable. For example, a mother, putting the child in a crib or rocking chair and letting him suck on the bottle that he sucked in childhood, imitates motion sickness, shows books familiar to the child from the first two years of life, and during the game gently hugs and kisses the child or gives him a massage. helps relieve stress, imitates the speech of a newborn or sings a lullaby. From time to time she may say to him:

When you were little, I also sang for you, played with you the same way, held you in my arms... You were so pretty. We loved you so much and we love you just as much now. I remember once...

The best way to end the game is to put the "baby" to sleep by wrapping him in a baby blanket. Thanks to this game, the child is able to realize that once he really was the center of maternal attention and received from his parents everything that his newborn brother or sister now receives. As a result, the feeling of envy towards them loses its severity.

Here are some items that can help a child survive the regressive experience of infancy: baby blanket, bottle, pacifier, rattle, diapers, baby lotion, rubber toy, etc.

• Set aside a special place and time for this game.
• You should not play in the presence of other family members.
• Continue to play regularly with your child until he loses interest in the game; then you can offer him the games that he loved to play in early childhood; he will soon return to his age-appropriate stage of development.
• The father and other people close to the child can play in the same way as the mother.
• Try not to pay attention to your child’s desire to play the role of a “baby” outside of the specially designated play time - this will tell him that you expect more mature behavior from him.
• During the game, remain ready to accept the child in the role of a “baby”, thereby you can satisfy his need to be such a “baby” for a little while, but do not openly encourage or provoke these needs.
• From time to time, tell your child that you really like to play like this, because while you are still proud of how big he is, you are sad about the time when he was a baby.
• Try to play this game even if your child does not actively participate in it at first; For some children, it takes some time to remove their psychological defenses.

Using Guided Visualization to Enhance Play Therapy Processes

Introduction and rationale

In accordance with the ecosystem view of play therapy and taking into account its modal features, it can be considered that the main goal of treatment is to help the child learn new effective behavioral strategies that will allow him to satisfy his needs without interfering with the needs of other people. Children with certain behavioral problems or with signs of emotional distress appear to be unable to meet their needs effectively or to have them met in a socially acceptable manner. To help such children, a play therapy specialist must work together to teach the child to understand his own needs and determine what prevents him from satisfying these needs, and then find and facilitate the development of more effective behavioral strategies.

In such work, the method of guided visualization can be used, which has much in common with both relaxation methods and hypnosis. If all of these methods are placed on a continuum, with conventional relaxation techniques at one end and hypnosis techniques at the other, guided visualization will occupy a middle position. When using it in working with children, I first use exercises aimed at achieving focused attention against a background of relaxation, and then evoke in young patients visual images that contribute to the direct or indirect solution of their problems and satisfaction of needs. The directional imaging method has two extremely valuable advantages. First, the child gains control over his body and his feelings. Secondly, the method enhances the positive results of using other play therapy techniques by activating the creative imagination, which allows the child to model different life situations in his fantasies and, with the help of a play therapy specialist, develop new practical skills. In other words, guided visualization can help a child learn sophisticated forms of pretend play, and while these can be extremely effective in their own right, I would like to highlight the special power of guided visualization here.

Description of the technique

Guided visualization can be used at any stage of the play therapy process. The child should be able to consistently follow simple commands and should not resist relaxation. Although the ultimate goal is to master effective self-regulation techniques, in the initial stage the child acts as a follower and the therapist teaches him how to follow instructions. Younger children can be asked to take a journey in their imagination; older children can be told that guided visualization is associated with the development of self-control and is based on self-hypnosis techniques.

Fundamental to the guided visualization method is that the therapist teaches the child the basics of relaxation. If the child does not object, he can be asked to lie down or sit in a special chair. The progressive muscle relaxation technique (Jacobson E., 1938) is one of the most effective ways to prepare a child for a guided visualization session: the child is asked to concentrate attention on different muscle groups in turn in order to achieve their greatest relaxation, and in the end relaxation of all muscles is achieved . Young children may have some difficulty with progressive muscle relaxation techniques due to the need to remain still. The technique of alternating tension and relaxation of the main muscle groups is more suitable for them (O"Connor K., 1991). You can, for example, ask the child to bend his toes and then relax them, then move his knees and relax the muscles of the thighs, tighten his stomach and relax it and etc. Each muscle group is slowly tensed and relaxed several times. Although deep muscle relaxation contributes to the success of guided visualization, in the initial stages of work it is enough to ask the child to simply follow commands associated with focusing attention on different muscle groups. The child should be taught to achieve relaxation with eyes open. This will help him further activate his imagination in conditions that are not conducive to immersion in complete relaxation.

Once at least minimal relaxation has been achieved, elements of directed visualization can be introduced. Its plot and the range of images associated with it must correspond to the needs of the child, his life experience and level of mental development. This correspondence is well demonstrated in the example below.

Michael was eight years old when he was referred to play therapy due to fears. Significant changes had taken place in the boy's life in recent years, and his parents did not pay enough attention to Michael due to the distress they themselves were experiencing. Play therapy aimed to identify the child's needs and the obstacles that prevented them from being met. The use of the guided visualization method was justified by the need to eliminate the boy’s neurotic manifestations and reduce the level of anxiety (Michael, in particular, experienced such strong fears that he woke up at night).

Taking into account the boy's age, the technique of muscle tension and relaxation was used to achieve relaxation. Attempts to put Michael to bed, cover him with a blanket, and put a pillow under his head caused a sharp increase in anxiety: the boy was afraid that in this position he would fall asleep and have a terrible dream. Therefore, the child was offered a chair in which he could relax.

During the conversation with Michael, it turned out that the greatest relaxation effect is caused by memories associated with swimming in the lake. However, this effect lasted only as long as the boy imagined himself not far from the shore - where he could see the bottom of the lake and could not be afraid that water monsters would attack him. When the boy relaxed, the therapist asked him to imagine himself lying in shallow water, near the shore. This imaginary picture was then intensified, causing a variety of sensations. Michael was asked, for example, to feel the warmth and softness of the sand on which he was lying. He was then asked to feel the warm water in which the body was immersed, imagine a bright blue sky with fluffy white clouds, and hear the soft lapping of waves. The rhythm of the movement of water in one direction and the other was then synchronized with the boy’s breathing - the waves either rushed towards him when he inhaled, or retreated when he exhaled. Michael was very pleased and was eager to try this exercise at home. The therapist advised him to exercise in the morning, immediately after waking up, in order to eliminate his fear of falling asleep, which could interfere with the visualization.

In the next session, the psychotherapist taught Michael to evoke a pleasant image for the boy for the purpose of self-control, while discussing his phobias. If Michael began to feel afraid, the therapist asked him to breathe with the waves, following their leisurely, measured pace. When Michael managed to relax, at the therapist’s command, he imagined frightening night images. At first, Michael was asked to imagine himself lying in a lake near the shore, while conjuring up a monster appearing in the outline of the clouds. Since they were just clouds and not real monsters, they did not make a frightening impression on Michael. A little later, these monsters came to life, and Michael was able to imagine a rather complex image: other monsters rose from the waters of the lake and rushed upward to protect the boy from those that attacked him from the sky. He turned into a warrior endowed with magical powers, whose funny words caused laughing monsters to fly to pieces. At this stage of the work, the psychotherapist suggested that if Michael suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night from fear, he should use all the tested images to calm himself. Since Michael was able to successfully use this technique, he was asked to evoke the same images before going to bed in order to prevent the occurrence of nightmares. The boy managed to successfully influence the nature of his dreams and ensure a sufficient degree of control over his fears.

As can be seen from the above description, it is extremely important that both the relaxation process itself and the evoked images are under the child’s control. The psychotherapist, initially acting as an instructor, later only gives a signal to begin the relaxation process, promotes better concentration and explains how to use the exercise at home. If the child still fails to maintain sufficient control over the process of relaxation and visualization during the session, it is unlikely that he will be able to successfully perform the exercise at home, and he will constantly require the presence of a psychotherapist. It is obvious that such work, at least in the version described above, includes elements of cognitive behavioral psychotherapy and systematic desensitization. As noted in the Introduction, the method of guided visualization increases the effectiveness of the psychotherapeutic process. In the above example, despite the severity of his fears, Michael managed to reduce their level by about 80% in just a few weeks, and in the next few days, completely get rid of them. Having mastered the exercise, he was able to quickly achieve success. He then used a similar exercise to eliminate other symptoms associated with increased anxiety and improve his performance at school.

“Rose bush” technique 3)

Introduction and rationale

I first became acquainted with the Rosebush technique in the monograph by J. Stevens “Awareness: Research, Experiments, Experience” (Stevens J., 1971). This book describes various imagination exercises designed for adults. I decided that the Rose Bush exercise could be easily adapted to work with children. And indeed, for many years I was able to use it successfully.

I believe that guided fantasy or visualization is a powerful tool that can help children express repressed feelings, needs, aspirations and thoughts in a safe, gentle way. Often a child responds much more easily to a metaphorical representation of his life than to crude realistic images. Fantasies are a bridge to the child's inner world, through which the child can better understand himself and recognize his inner world as his own property. The process of directed visualization involves awareness of metaphorical images and the establishment of a deep semantic connection between these elements and the child’s inner world, which contributes to mental stabilization and support of his personality.

Description of the technique

I ask the child to close his eyes, take a few deep breaths and imagine that he is turning into a rose bush. I tell him: “You can become any flowering bush, for example (a rose bush.” Then I ask what kind of bush he has become. Is this bush small or big? Strong or weak? Does this bush have flowers? If so, then what? What color are they? Are there many or few of them? Have they fully blossomed or are there only buds? Are there leaves? What do they look like? What do the shoots and branches look like? What kind of roots does this bush have or, perhaps, does it have no roots at all? If there are, are they long and straight or curved? How deep do they penetrate into the ground? Does the bush have thorns? Where does this bush grow: in the yard, in a park, in the desert, in a field, under the moon or somewhere else ? Is it standing in a pot or growing directly from the ground, or maybe breaking through concrete or asphalt? What is around the bush? Are there other rose bushes nearby, or is it standing alone? Are there trees, animals, birds or people around? How does this bush live? Who takes care of it? Is the weather good? Is there a fence around the bush, or maybe stones or rocks?

As can be seen from the above questions, I strive to stimulate children's imagination, offering various options and possibilities for forming an image. I have noticed that children who are inhibited and have strong defensive tendencies especially need help in getting their creative juices flowing.

Then I ask the child to open his eyes and draw a rose bush against the background of the surrounding landscape. I usually say, “Don't worry about your drawing—it doesn't have to be your best work; If something doesn’t work out, you can explain it to me.” Later, when the child begins to comment on the image, I write down his words. I usually ask you to describe the bush in the present tense and in the first person. I ask the child questions, addressing him as a bush, for example: who is looking after you? you're lonely? who dwells in your branches? etc. After the child finishes the description, I look through the notes and read each of his statements out loud so that he thinks about whether they correspond to what happens to him in real life.

I have successfully used this exercise both individually and in group work with children and families. Teenagers - both boys and girls - respond especially vividly to it. For them it is an effective means of self-determination. When a seventeen-year-old teenager told me that a bush had fallen to the ground and was apparently dying, his suicidal intentions became obvious to me for the first time.

An eight-year-old girl named Gina described the bush this way: “Red roses are blooming on me, but I don’t see any thorns, leaves or roots. The earth helps me survive. I grow up in Disneyland because I want to be happy. I feel well protected (there is a high fence around the bush). The gardener takes care of me and waters me once a day. It's a sunny day now. I'm very beautiful. Sometimes I feel lonely. I'm going to see my dad tonight. I'm a little bush. It never rains here, only sometimes it snows. I see people. There is grass around me. It’s easy for me to grow without roots - if someone wants to transplant me to another place, it will be easier to do.”

Later, Gina commented on her own statements. “I feel well protected” - “But not in real life.” “Sometimes I feel lonely” - “I’m going to visit my dad tonight.” “I’m a small bush” - “I wanted to be smaller - I’m too big.” “It never rains here, only sometimes it snows” - “I don’t like rain, it’s a pity that it doesn’t snow here.” “If someone wants to transfer me to another place, it will be easier to do it” - “I don’t know what will happen to me.” Gina is adopted, her parents are divorced. After their divorce, she clearly suffers: she often cries, experiences night terrors, cannot concentrate in class, and is not independent. Thanks to the exercise, it became clear to me how difficult the current situation was for her and that she was very worried about her future. It was very difficult for her to confess her experiences to me, and only thanks to the “Rose Bush” I was able to gain access to them.

Exercise “Imagine that you can do it” 4)

Children really need to develop self-confidence. In the book “How to Develop Your Child’s Independence,” Stephen Glenn writes about how important it is to give a child the opportunity to be independent: “The prevailing view is that “good” parents and teachers always explain to the child what to do and how to do it. However, the most effective approach is when parents and teachers provide the child with the opportunity to find a way to solve his problems himself” (Glenn S., 1988).

If a child suddenly realizes that he can perform this or that action himself (even a rather complex one), he will independently achieve success, solving those practical problems that previously seemed impossible to him.

Introduction and rationale

Sometimes while working with children, some ideas arise suddenly, by themselves. I don’t remember when or why I started using this method to give my child confidence in his abilities. However, when you work with elementary school students, you don’t always ask yourself why this is so and not otherwise, and you give preference to any exercises that have the greatest effect.

How many times a day can a child turn to the teacher with the words:
- I can’t tie my shoelace. Help me please.

I have seen some teachers kneel down to tie a child's shoe, even if the child does not ask them to. I understand that these teachers have the student's best interest at heart, but they are missing an opportunity to truly help the student develop valuable skills, develop responsibility for his actions, and increase his self-esteem.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, I volunteered as a teacher's assistant once a week. The teacher instructed me to teach the children to tie their own shoelaces. Now imagine a dozen little faces turning to you in the hope that you will finally teach them to tie their shoelaces.

Description of the technique

When a child learns to tie his shoes, he already knows what to do - he has seen others do it many times. If you ask a child to tie his shoes, he will probably answer, “I don’t know how to tie shoelaces.” But if you ask him to pretend he knows how to tie his shoes and show you, he will be able to get at least a few steps of the process right. Then you will be able to exclaim in admiration: “Great, something is already working out! Just a little bit left, come on!” You can encourage your child with the words: “Wow, you can do almost everything yourself!” or “You just pretended that you couldn’t do anything, but in fact you could do a lot yourself.” In an imaginary play situation, the child feels more free and is not afraid that something will not work out. And having completed any task independently, he will help other children. Apparently, the process of independently solving problems is more valuable than its result. Mutual help from children gives them a lot. No matter what we are talking about, the psychotherapist, the kindergarten teacher or teacher, and the parents will be able to see with their own eyes how the child copes with the situation on his own.

Literature:

1. Glenn S. (1988). Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World. Rocklin, CA: Prima Publishing and Communications.
2. FieldT., and RiteM. (1984). Children's responses to separation from mother during the birth of another child. Child Development 55:130-1316.
3. Jacobson E. (1938). Progressive Relaxation: A Physiological and Clinical Investigation of Muscular States and Their Significance in Psychology and Medical Practice, 2nd ed. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
4. OaKlander V. (1988). Windows to Our Children: A Gestalt Therapy Approach to Children and Adolescents. Highland, NY: Gestalt Journal Press.
5. O"Connor K. (1991). The Play Therapy Primer. New York: Wiley.
6. Singer J. L. (1973). The Child's World of Make-Believe: Experimental Studies of Imaginative Play. New York: Academic Press.
7. Stevens J. 0. (1971). Awareness: Exploring, Experimenting, Experiencing. Moab, UT: Real People Press.

Now in every more or less large city there are schools or centers where they teach women's practices and techniques for controlling intimate muscles. But before you take this issue seriously and sign up for such a course, I recommend that you start practicing simple exercises on your own that will prepare your body for more serious techniques.

Here I have collected some important tips and simple but effective practices that do not require much effort or additional “equipment.” So,

• First of all, let's learn relax your stomach. In order to appear slimmer and more attractive, we suck in our stomach, not realizing that in doing so we are damaging our health. The lower abdomen is one of the main energy centers, which is responsible for our sexuality, reproductive function, creative energy and generally positive emotions. And by straining our stomach, we provoke problems in many areas, since we deprive ourselves of access to the reservoir of feminine power; in addition, a belly tightened with a belt interferes with the normal circulation of energy throughout the body. All this limits our sexuality and can lead to congestion and female diseases. Monitor the condition of your stomach throughout the day, it should be relaxed. It is better to tighten the muscles of the perineum so that our sexual energy does not come out.
• Next tip: breathe with our bellies, that is, when inhaling, we lower the air below the chest and diaphragm, while the stomach inflates and protrudes; and when we exhale, we blow it away. We try to monitor the depth of the “lowering” of the air.
• And now a simple exercise for intimate muscles "Bud - rose": when inhaling, we squeeze the muscles of the perineum as hard as possible (“bud”), while exhaling, we relax (“the rose blooms”). This exercise can be practiced while urinating, tightening the muscles so that it stops. To begin with, it is recommended to do at least 50 repetitions.
• Exercise "Cat's Back": From the kneeling position, lean on your hands. The back is relaxed, without excessive bending, the head, neck and spine are in a straight line. Inhale, as you exhale, bend your spine upward, lowering your head and strongly tensing your abdominal and buttock muscles. Gradually relax and return to the starting position (10-15 times)
• "Pelvic lift": starting position - lying on your back, knees bent. Exhale and press your back to the floor. As you inhale, lift your pelvis off the floor, tensing the muscles of your abdomen, hips and perineum. As you exhale, relax, lower your pelvis.
• Simple exercises familiar from childhood also help train intimate muscles. "Scissors" and "Bicycle"". I don't think you need to describe them.

Following these simple tips and regular exercise will help you take a step towards prolonging your youth, restoring vital energy and maintaining health. I hope these practices will become part of your life as healthy habits. Read more about the benefits and beneficial effects of women's practices on the body in the article