Life stories magazine. Funny stories from women's lives
FUNNY STORIES FROM THE LIVES OF WOMEN
Positive stories that happened to them or their loved ones and which, even after time, they still remember with a smile on their face.
OKSANA, 34 YEARS OLD:
– I remember I was getting ready to go on a date and, to make the look more stunning, I decided to try on myself what was at that time innovative and very popular look shampoo - from eggs. I got the exact recipe for cooking, as you understand, on the all-knowing Internet. I prepared everything and, in anticipation of soon having silky and voluminous hair, headed to the bathroom.
There I washed my hair thoroughly warm water and by diligently rubbing, applied all the shampoo to her hair. Then she massaged her head for about seven minutes and slowly began to wash it all off with hot water. And imagine: I look in the mirror after this, and there are small pieces of coagulated protein in my hair! These eggs were boiled right on my head and stayed there!
In general, the date had to be canceled that day - I was busy scooping boiled egg whites out of my head. And since then I have only used store-bought shampoo.
ALLA, 29 YEARS OLD:
– A funny story happened to me just last Sunday. I went to buy groceries for the whole family for the week. And we have a rather large family: a husband, three children and their grandmother (my mother). I ran around the entire store with the list, bought everything I had planned, and even more. I filled the basket completely, and put something lighter on top - bread, a loaf, cookies...
In general, I drive up to the checkout with all these treasures and realize that I forgot my discount card at home. And I felt so offended: I always check several times to see if it’s there... So what should I do? Don't post the products now! I firmly decided: I won’t leave without a discount. Out of resentment and anger at myself, a plan instantly matured in my head: I turned to the man behind me, who was twirling his discount card in his hands, and said: “Could you allow me to use your card?” He looked down at me, looked the disheveled, running and confused girl from head to toe, then looked appraisingly at my basket with two packages of bread and diapers on top and, probably mistaking me for a single mother beaten by life, exhaled: “It must be hard.” you have to, right? Take it, of course, whatever…"
TATYANA, 31 YEARS OLD:
– I received my driver’s license quite recently – last fall. And soon after that, the day before New Year's holidays, an incredibly sweet story happened to me. Naturally, winter is not the best best time in order to hone your newly acquired driving skills. This truism is familiar to any motorist. But, somehow plucking up the courage, I went in my car to my parents (they live near Minsk) to spend the pre-holiday weekend together.
I moved along the roundabout very carefully, clutching the steering wheel, all twitched... Huge trucks were rushing by nearby, the weather had completely deteriorated... I squeezed into the seat and drove so slowly that it seemed that even pedestrians were overtaking me. I soon realized that I had overestimated my level of determination. But there was no turning back.
And after some time, on top of everything else, I was stopped by a traffic police officer. At that moment I thought: “Well, that’s it – I’ve made it! Now I’ll also pay the fine.” She slowed down and began to humbly await her fate, frantically remembering which of the hundreds of rules she had managed to break.
A traffic police officer came up to me, looked into the salon and asked: “Girl, is everything okay with you?” I answered in a trembling voice, almost crying, “Yes.” And he told me: “Don’t worry - you need to ride boldly, without being afraid of anything! Now stretch your arms forward.” I stretched out my hands in confusion, thinking, “Are they going to put handcuffs on me now? Immediately go to prison? Maybe I hit someone and didn’t notice?” And he put three tangerines in my palms and, smiling broadly, cheerfully said: “Happy New Year to you!” And left. But I couldn’t hold back and cried.
OLGA, 34 YEARS OLD:
– My husband works as a proctologist at a medical center. This specialization, as you understand, is quite specific - and comical situations happen to him all the time. But I took a direct part in one of them.
That evening my husband and I were going to go to the Kupala Theater. In addition to the thirst for cultural enlightenment, I was also drawn there by the desire to “walk” my new dress. And since my husband works in the city center, we agreed that I would come to him at the end of the working day and we would go to the theater together. And here I am, all dressed up and happy, walking along the empty corridor of the medical center, convinced that my husband has already changed his clothes and is looking forward to my appearance. Anticipating a romantic evening, I open the door of his office wide and see that a man is lying there in the most awkward position, and my husband is just about to examine him.
The patient is in a position from which I cannot be seen. My husband, distracted from the patient’s “problem” area, looked at me in a new dress and loudly exclaimed: “Wow! I have never seen such unearthly beauty in my life!” Because of this whole picture, I simply froze in the doorway with my mouth open, and the patient, still spread out on the table, not understanding what was happening, blushed deeply and mumbled: “Thank you, doctor... you flatter me...”
IRINA, 35 YEARS OLD:
– I’ll tell you a story that once happened to my husband during our vacation in the Czech Republic. We ended up in a water park together and he, like a child, intended to spend the whole day there. Two hours was enough for me and, seeing how inspired my husband was, I decided to leave him to have fun alone and went to the room. He arrived there within half an hour. I asked in surprise: “Why so early?”
To which he told me such a story. Having stood in line for the water park's most popular slide, he eagerly awaited the instructor's signal that he could already slide down. Let me remind you: a smooth downward slide on the water park slides is ensured largely due to the water that flows down the gutters of these same slides from top to bottom. And here is my husband shouting “Banzai!” dives into the gutter, and after him, after the instructor’s signal, a lady with very large volumes and, as a result, impressive weight jumps into the same place.
After a couple of seconds, the husband notices that he begins to slow down and move in jerks. It turns out that the lady blocked the path of the water with her voluminous bodies, but nevertheless rushed with all her might toward my unsuspecting husband. Then I will allow myself to quote him: “And just imagine the horror that I experienced when I saw how she, laughing and screaming heart-rendingly at the same time, flew at me inside this closed chute... I love you so much, Ira, I love you so much!” Well, what could I do? She hugged him and felt sorry for him.
Real stories from the lives of women blog readers about domestic tyranny. Your stories are accepted for this section! How did you meet your tyrant husband, how did the relationship develop, what feelings and thoughts bothered you, and of course, how did you manage to get rid of the tyrant and recover from painful dependence on him? Read, discuss, consult, exchange experiences!
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Women's stories from real life about the relationship between a man and a woman, as well as other issues that concern the fair half of humanity. Tips and exchange of opinions in the comments under each publication.
If you also have something to tell about this topic, you can absolutely free right now, and also support other authors who find themselves in similar difficult life situations with your advice.
There are 5 people working in one office and one is pregnant, let both her and the child be healthy, though without sarcasm. But the expectant mother is already fed up with everyone. First: don’t wear perfume, okay, toxicosis, we’ll accept it. Second, remove the coffee machine and don’t drink coffee in the office, it will make you sick, eat it in the hallway.
She constantly wants to sleep and, but she doesn’t want to give it away either, since she will receive less. Whenever possible, we help, but now we are busy, so we don’t always have time to do our work, and we stay after work or take work home. To which the pregnant woman is offended and asks to take her part of the work, and when you refuse her, she says: “I’m pregnant, you can’t refuse me.” And the fact that I will sit until one or two in the morning does not interest her. And when I told her that at 23:00 I saw her online on social media. networks and she could take the work home and finish it, then she was offended. She said that she was resting at home. It turns out well - he doesn’t work at work, he rests at home. But you have to eat in the hallway or eat foods that don’t smell to her.
A year later, it turns out that the girl who was taken from the orphanage is mentally ill. She drank a lot of blood, and foster mother She threw her fists at her if she didn’t give her cigarettes (or later, a bottle). They also learned that stepdaughter sick, they didn’t give up on her, she got her into a special school because... They didn’t take it to the regular one.
Greetings to loyal readers and story lovers! Women's life stories about love always arouse interest. Sometimes they are similar in plot, but none of them are repeated. Today there is a real story for you...
Gorgeous blonde
Finally, Galina arrived in her native village, which had not changed in two years. Peeling houses, lopsided fences, dirt, dust and people who never smile. She said hello, they answered her, but they could not understand who this gorgeous and slender blonde was.
Previously, Gali had jet-black hair and the same life. Only in a foreign land did she feel what happiness was and decided to dye her hair blonde. Because the black streak is over. White has started...
Basil
Having seen her older brother at a friend’s wedding, Galya drowned in his cornflower blue eyes. The guy's thick, resinous hair fell over his broad shoulders. Handsome!
“Vasily,” the guy introduced himself and gallantly extended his hand. – Can I invite a lady to a waltz?
When the dance ended, Vasily took his partner by the hand to her place. In their village, boys never showed gentlemanly manners. And what kind of dancers are they? They only know how to trample on feet. It was with gallantry that the city guy won Galina’s heart.
The girl worked in a garment factory. He waited for her at the entrance, accompanied her home, and gave her flowers. “But this is real happiness!” – she rejoiced and reached out to him with all her soul. They had already begun to prepare for the wedding when a scandal suddenly broke out.
My beloved became jealous of the watchman Uncle Vanya. Galya laughed, since there was no reason, and jokingly said: “Fool, I love you alone.” “Am I stupid?!” – Vasily was indignant. - You're the dirty hillbilly! I must kiss my footprints because I pulled you out of the dung!”
There will be no wedding!
The girl was dumbfounded by such words. She took off the ring that the gentleman gave him when he proposed, and, crying, rushed into the entrance. Vasily did not appear for several days, only a week later he came to make peace.
She did not listen to flattering words. “There will be no wedding!” – she said angrily. “I’ll show you again!” - the groom threatened and climbed a tall tree near the factory.
- I'll jump down! I'll get hurt if you leave me! - shouted at the top of his lungs.
All the workers ran out to see this performance. Someone laughed, someone got scared and asked Galya to think.
- Oh, baby, where are you putting your head? – Uncle Vanya either asked sadly or asserted.
Black streak in life
I forgave, but still loved this fool. When they got married, the newlyweds were given a room in a dorm. It would seem, live and be happy. At first it was like that, but then it started happening. Vasily never drank or smoked, but was “weak in the head,” as people say.
The wife had to please in everything and not say a word against. He stays late at work, doesn’t have time to cook dinner, and walks around with bruises. If she buys herself clothes, she will be beaten again, because “she spent the money on stupid things.”
Even the fact that his wife was carrying a baby under her heart did not stop the tyrant. The birth of a son did not bring peace. He beat me because “the child was crying.” She quickly turned from a blossoming 20-year-old girl into exhausted woman. She was constantly bruised.
And the husband was still handsome, and remained so. Only the wife understood that the soul of a tyrant was hidden behind the beautiful wrapper. He also took on a mistress - she had to endure it. Once I asked my husband to help me carry the cans into the basement and here I decided to have a conversation:
- Vasya, let's get a divorce. You have another one. Don't torture me!
- Wha-o-o-o? – he became furious and grabbed his neck.
The woman lost consciousness from pain, and when she woke up, she saw a pink spot on her chest. It turned out that the husband poured grape juice from a can on her. With difficulty I climbed into the apartment.
“If I hear about divorce again, I’ll strangle you!” – he threatened, without taking his eyes off the TV.
White stripe
Since then, Galina began to think about how to escape from the despot. Fortunately, a good opportunity soon turned up. A friend came from Italy and said that she needed a substitute to take care of the sick Signor Giovanni.
“It pays well, let’s go,” Lena persuaded. “And we’ll tell yours that you’ll look after a paralyzed old lady and bring money for a car.”
And in fact, Vasily raved about the car, but was in no hurry to work. Galya, of course, could not save anything from the seamstress’s salary. Finding my husband in good mood, started talking about Lena, how many euros she earned.
“You see, others are going abroad, worrying about their family, but you are attached to the factory like a flea to a dog,” Vasily grumbled displeasedly.
- Yes, she invites me with her too. Maybe I should rush? We'll finally buy a car.
- Oh, you came up with a good idea! - the faithful beamed. - Just send the boy to the village.
Signor Giovanni
Italy met with heat and beautiful scenery. She ended up in the picturesque and cozy town of Tivoli, 20 kilometers away. 67-year-old Signor Giovanni did not need special care, although he was a cancer patient; rather, a lonely man wanted communication.
Tivoli, Italy
- What to do? I only know two words in Italian – “grace” and “bongiorno,” Galya worried.
“You’ll learn,” my friend consoled. - IN good hands I got it.
And in fact, it turned out that the signor found consolation in teaching Galina Italian. He pointed his finger at some object, said the name, and the woman carefully wrote everything down. After two weeks they understood each other without words.
The signor became cheerful and blossomed next to his young nurse. Two years flew by in a flash. With the kind and respectful attitude of Signor Giovanni, Galina turned from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan.
She forgot about humiliation, bruises and insults. Therefore, I almost didn’t remember my husband, I just really missed my son and parents. I decided to take time off to go home.
The signor was depressed that he would lose her. Going down to the table in the evening, he put it on a plate wedding ring.
- Gala, I want you to always be with me!
- But I'm married. – Galina was taken aback by surprise.
- I know. Go. Solve your problem and come back immediately. I will wait for you. And your son...
How did this story end? Guess for yourself.
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