A terrible state of mind. What to do when you feel really bad


No matter how happy a person is, he will always be missing something. Some small trifle, because of which everything will lose its color and your soul will become lousy. What to do in this case and how to deal with it? In this article we will talk about what to do when you feel bad at heart for no apparent reason.

And cats scratch at my soul

Every person knows this expression. It is known not only theoretically, but also practically. Everything seems to be fine, it seems to be happy, but still I feel lousy at heart. Why?? Often a person is not able to answer this “why” because he himself does not understand it. But still there are reasons. Very often the reason is disagreement with a given way of life, self-deception, lack of happy moments, fear of sudden changes and much, much more. You can deal with this on your own, but if nothing works out, you need to contact a specialist. Don’t be afraid of going to doctors, they are people too, they also have emotions and they can help you. A psychoanalyst will not only help you figure out what the problem is, but also suggest a solution.

What to do when you feel bad?

There are many things and activities that can help you combat low mood and depression. But before you start, you must admit that you really feel bad. First of all, admit it to yourself, and only then, if you want, to someone else. Understanding your problem means half solving it. So, let's find out what to do when you feel bad at heart.

  • First, don't avoid people. On the contrary, communicate as much as possible with your family and friends, throw parties and receptions, go on picnics and visits, but just don’t be alone with your thoughts and don’t distance yourself from your acquaintances - this is very dangerous.
  • Secondly, get a pet. A dog is best, as it is a very active family member who will definitely not let you get bored. Of course, you can also have a cat, it all depends on your preferences.
  • Third, try something new. Go to a resort, try a new dish, update your wardrobe, go to a rock concert or a play at the theater. Basically, do something you've never done before, feel something you've never felt before. New emotions and experiences will help you forget about depression and relieve you from your daily routine.
  • Fourth, do charity work. You can’t even imagine what a joy it is to help other people. Even the smallest ones, but still help.
  • Fifth, play sports. Morning jogging and gym classes will not only lift your spirits, but also allow you to keep yourself in good shape. In addition, this is a good opportunity to make new acquaintances.
  • Sixth, make your dreams come true. Write a list of things you would like to do, but are unlikely to dare to do. Wrote?? Now fulfill it, because dreams should come true, and not remain dreams!

So

After reading this article, you already know what to do when you feel bad. The main thing is to really fight this and not give up, because your happiness is in your hands - remember this.

Sometimes it happens that a person, for no apparent reason, becomes sad and melancholy, “cats scratch at the heart.” You can sometimes help yourself alleviate this condition, of course, if it is not chronic depression, if:

  1. Get a good night's sleep, "sleep" the problem, just dive into sleep like an ostrich into the sand. No wonder they say that the morning is wiser than the evening.
  1. Do simple work with visible results - clean the apartment, clean an old frying pan, tidy up a closet or computer.
  1. Take a walk to beautiful places to remind yourself that there are more interesting things in the world than your fixation on negativity.
  1. Engage in vigorous exercise.
  1. Find the cause of your condition, remember all its details - not only serious, but also funny, and try to look at them from different points of view.
  1. Imagine 3 interesting people in your place - what would they do in a similar situation?
  1. Mentally draw a comic based on your story with yourself in the leading role.
  1. Try to do the same on paper or on a computer.
  1. Stepping back from your problem, come up with a game called “Getting Out of the Deadlock” and set its rules. Presenting the situation as a playing field with a key figure - yourself - allows you to look at it from the outside. Perhaps this will really help you find the solution you need, or the problem itself will no longer seem so scary.
  1. Model from small details a state when you felt good, for example, bliss, and try to mentally feel it.
  1. Select any point on the body and mentally draw a circle with it in the air several times in one direction and the other. This kind of “drawing” breaks internal and bodily tightness.
  1. Write yourself a letter from the past - from where you were happy.
  1. Do handicrafts that involve fine motor skills of the fingers - crocheting or knitting, beading, quelling. If you haven’t done anything like this before, buy everything you need and learn!
  1. Wander around the shops, touch things with your hands, try on the most unexpected things for yourself - those that you had never paid attention to before or could not afford.
  1. Discuss the situation with 2 imaginary interlocutors - a pessimist and an optimist. Moreover, let the first one bring it to the point of absurdity, and the second one, on the contrary, makes it as easy as possible and gives practical advice on how to get out of it, even the most fantastic ones!
  1. Play the interactive game “Underwater World” with your body. To do this, you just need to close your eyes and imagine that you are swimming underwater. You are surrounded by an unimaginably beautiful landscape - corals and starfish, schools of small fish and huge octopuses. Peace and quiet...
  1. Write a story or fairy tale. Come up with a phrase, and then let it lead you.
  1. Try to find benefit in what brought you into a state of mental discord.
  1. Give your loved ones something nice. Perhaps by bringing joy and smiles to those around you, you will get yours back!
  1. Pray.


Even the happiest people have moments in life when their hearts are heavy and they want to cry. Sometimes it's the blues, and sometimes it's natural depression. In the latter case, you must not neglect treatment under the supervision of an experienced psychotherapist. In other cases, everything is in your power.

How to find the beginning of everything

This will help you understand what to do. First of all, try to remember step by step what led to this heaviness. Find in this the maximum serious, accurate, and...funny. Much depends on the reason why your soul is so heavy.

If you yourself are to blame, for example, you offended someone or committed some kind of offense, you should not suffer too much. Just remember that you have the right to make mistakes and try to forgive yourself. For example, conduct a small training:

First, call your offense the word “Mistake.” This is not a mortal sin, it's just a mistake. Next, remember that you are still good. That’s right: tell yourself “I’m good” and hug yourself. And only after you have calmed down, ask yourself what to do. Now that you have cooled down and understood, you can begin to correct the mistake.

Be sure to ask for forgiveness from the person you offended. Don’t hesitate to do this, because both of you may have a lot boiling up in your soul and ask for forgiveness, and it will be more difficult to forgive. And nerve cells recover slowly and sadly. But only ask for forgiveness when the emotions have already subsided and you can reason and respond to any words sensibly and calmly.

Or it may be that it is not you, but someone else who is to blame for the fact that your soul is heavy. What to do if you were offended? In the same way, understand that a person has the right to make mistakes. Most likely, he did not set himself the goal of offending you, he simply stumbled. if it’s hard after a breakup or the departure of your best friend to another city (country), then you can only take it for granted. Remember all the wonderful things you had and remain grateful to this person. And get ready for the fact that in your future life you will have many new and wonderful people and acquaintances.

Think and talk only about good things

This is the simplest answer to the question of what to do when your heart is heavy. Thoughts and words are material, so negative thoughts will not allow you to get rid of the heaviness in your soul and the blues, but will drag you even deeper. This is the most difficult thing, but try to keep track of all the bad thoughts and forcefully replace them with good ones. This will not help solve the problem at the root, but it will help here and now.

Let your feelings go

Don't believe that you can't help grief with tears. Can. You will release all your sad thoughts if you have a good cry, and then you will probably understand that life is not over yet and will see it in a new light.

Here and now

The most vague and annoying advice in any difficult situation is: “Live here and now.” This can be done with the help of small trainings and exercises.

  • Do something with your hands: wash, weave, knit, sew, write, connect. Just achieve simple completeness and integrity in something small. Just give free rein to your fine motor skills, which will definitely take your mind off your thoughts. If this is not possible, go to the store and try something with your hands;
  • Having found an unexpected point on your body, imagine that you are drawing it in the air and describing circles;
  • Imagine that you are a comic book or a running picture. Try to get out of all difficult situations like a comic book superhero;
  • If it’s cloudy at heart, imagine yourself as a piece of furniture or something else from your home or part of nature (for example, a tree outside the window or a bush). Tell a monologue on his behalf. Firstly, this way you can better understand what worries you and causes heaviness, and secondly, fuse the negativity onto something inanimate;

Remember that you once had a good time

If it happened, it will happen again. You definitely had happy times, because your soul was not always heavy. Try sending yourself a letter from yourself at a happy time in your life or from the place where you had the best time in your life, for example, from the happiest vacation of your life.

Try to recreate as accurately as possible the situation in which you felt good. Assemble it from the smallest parts. If you cannot fully experience bliss, then at least simulate it. You can reconstruct the happiest moment in your life, one grain of sand at a time.

Do good for your neighbor

Think about what you can do to please your family or friends. You can give them small but cute gifts or cook something delicious. If you can make people smile and have positive emotions, then they will come back to you.

Give thanks

Try to thank what brought you to such a dead end. Think about the lessons that can be learned from this, as well as how to push off from this bottom.

Simple tips

  • Go to bed. Maybe it's just simple fatigue. In general, try to relax by changing your surroundings. You don’t even need to go anywhere, you can just go out and go shopping. Take a small amount of money and buy what you wanted, no matter how small.
  • Play sports. You don't even need to go to the gym - just move. You can turn on a video set of exercises that give an active load to the body. Or work out outside - this is ideal.
You might want to bring up old physical skills like doing handstands or brushing up on your stretches. This will also raise your self-esteem.

Don't isolate yourself

Be sure to share your difficult thoughts with your loved ones. You can ask advice from two people at once: harsh and unrestrained in words and affectionate and kind.

If your soul is heavy, the usual blues may be to blame. What to do with it? Just don’t let him get close, because she can get carried away.

I have been feeling very bad for the last 5 years. It’s like there’s a lump of dirt stuck in my chest and eating away at me from the inside. I haven't wanted anything for 5 years now. No sex, no work (which I simply no longer liked), watching movies, walking, talking and, in the end, living too. Every day I come to work, communicate with my workmates, pretending that everything is fine, smiling in their faces, joking with them, and when I come home, I turn on music and lie and listen. I just listen and dream of dying or being born in another century. But there is no one to tell the truth. Parents have been divorced since 2010. Relations with them are as cold as ice. My father demands a lot from me, what I don’t want, I don’t like. But I have to do it so as not to disappoint him, and in the end I still make a mistake somewhere and disappoint him. Maybe I lack love or something else that I don’t see or realize? At home too, I just stopped cleaning, I live as... well, I just live as I live. I don't care about anything. I want to scream so loudly that someone on the other side of the universe can hear. Why does it hurt so much? Why so bad? What is wrong with me? I'm 28 years old, but I feel like I'm 80. I'll say this if it weren't for Mom and Dad, I would have committed suicide.<ред.мод.>... Lord, how bad my soul is. I would like to write so much here, but I doubt it will help me in any way, I doubt it will instill in me the spirit and strength to live on. People will read what I wrote and many will think about it. What a moron. Or they'll just sympathize with me. And I just won't care. I want to be free from life. I want to jump from a plane and just fly down with my eyes closed and know that just a couple more moments of the flight and I will be free. I have no one to complain to, no one to tell how bad I feel, no one to cry on, and this is probably sad from the point of view of a normal person. I understand that suicide is not the answer. And it won’t make it any easier for the family. But I didn’t even care about my family. I'm scared by these thoughts. This is probably the first and last time I write something on the Internet.

Support the site:

Sasha, age: 28 / 05/23/2017

Responses:

Hello. It seems to me that it would be right to remember when you began to have such an attitude towards life. It was five years ago - what happened to you then? Maybe some unfavorable events that affected You so much. And all this time you are struggling with their consequences. Think about it. Perhaps the reason is generally in Your work. It was at that age that he began working. The responsibilities you perform can be very exhausting. Relationships with management or team. At first glance, everything may look good, but in fact it is a source of discomfort. I know from personal experience how powerful this can be. Working in one organization, my soul was heavy all the time and I didn’t want to do anything after work. There was always something wrong with my health, despite my young age. After some time, the organization moved and I had to leave there. And, as time shows, it was right. In the place where I work now, everything is completely different. Much easier than before, emotionally. In addition, I had free time from work to help other people. And this is actually very interesting and not at all difficult. Additional motivation when you feel that you are bringing benefit to someone. Think about it, maybe you should decide to change something in your life. And then the desire and strength to live will appear.

Mikhail, age: 28 / 05/24/2017

Hello, Sasha. You wrote: “I want to write so much here, but it’s unlikely that it will help me in any way...” And I think that if a person has a need to express more than he says, it is necessary to satisfy this need. Perhaps it is in the unspoken words that you can understand something and find a way out of your difficult situation. I think we need to take advantage of this chance. I also realized that you have no one to talk to, try to see a psychologist, don’t isolate yourself. Happiness to you, Sasha, may a ray of light shine in your life.

Olga, age: 35 / 05/24/2017

Sasha, how come you didn’t think of seeing a doctor, a psychiatrist! It seems to me that you are suffering from depression, which means you need to treat it and recover. Your whole life is in front of you. The joy of life, the enjoyment of life will still be available to you.

Madam, age: 55 / 05/24/2017

Hello Sasha! Depression is a disease. And she needs to be treated. And it can be treated in different ways. It is imperative that you have a purpose and meaning in life. We can advise you to start your own family. According to my observations, people who get married cope with depression more easily. Or turn to God, become a Christian, this path has given many people joy and meaning in life. Or turn your attention to other people who really need help. It also gives you a desire to live when you understand that other people need you. And if all this does not suit you, then contact a psychologist or psychiatrist, it depends on the severity of your depression. But since you are in long-term depression, then you probably need to see a psychiatrist. But you have to live. We have to fight. We must win.

Arina, age: 27 / 05/24/2017

Dear!
There is no need to be discouraged. It's difficult to advise. First of all, you are not alone. We are all living people and can lose motivation. There is a slight depression on the face.
There is a positive. You are young, healthy, functioning normally - going to work, i.e. slight depression. You do not have the burden of incapacitated relatives, wife, children. This is positive, because hands are untied.
For example, it’s easier for me to be lonely, but having a family is stressful.
Come home from work and turn on not music, but some satirical speech, read something funny, for example.
Visit your primary care physician.
Find some hobby or passion. Lots of dating sites.

Kolobok, age: 47 / 05/24/2017

Hello. Sasha, it looks a lot like protracted depression, so don’t put off visiting a psychotherapist. Take your vitamins, they will give you strength. And another piece of advice - fall in love! Start a family, every man needs care, guardianship, attention, feminine affection, and you are no exception. I think your mood will change, you can’t go against nature, as they say))) Good luck to you!

Irina, age: 29 / 05/24/2017

Dear Alexander, I would like to warn you that by freeing yourself from life in this way, you will not become free, since this is an unforgivable sin. Try to slowly figure out what’s wrong, try to figure out the meaning of a person’s suffering, why they are sent to him, maybe just if everything was fine, then you wouldn’t think about what you need, maybe it’s time to pay attention to what’s really important for each of us. This is to establish a relationship with God. Unfortunately, we people remember Him only when we feel bad. With the Lord in your heart, then death will be real freedom, but only when your time comes, when God decides so. And thoughts of suicide are being sent to you by the enemy of our salvation, drive them away! True freedom is in the Lord, because He is the Truth. I hope my message will help you, don’t give up, and then you will see how wonderful life is) I also had such a terrible state, I understand what you mean... but if you don’t give up, then everything will start to get better, look for the main thing, this very Truth, learn her...Take care of yourself.
***
Life is beautiful in all its images: Speaking everyday prose;
In the descriptions of poets, figurative;
In black clouds and pink clouds... And she rushes - madly!..
It hits with blows - crushingly!
So that we forget to live sublimely... So that life is painful for all of us!
I will make every effort, To touch eternity with my heart, To make life sparkle with its edges, Taking me into the world of infinity!

incognito, age: 26 / 05/24/2017

Sasha, there is always a reason for such a state: sometimes these are somatic reasons, sometimes it is an event for which you suppressed feelings, drove them inside yourself and it seems that you survived, but it comes out in the form of such an unwillingness to be. Maybe you do a lot of things that you don’t feel like doing. It’s good that you wrote here - this is at least some step to help yourself. When you can’t figure out the reasons, it’s best to consult a psychologist (not just anyone, by recommendation). It is clear that you have such a need. Normally, a person should be happy - this is his normal state. I wish you to find yourself again, the one who smiles when you wake up in the morning.

Anna, age: 36 / 05/24/2017

Great, why are you depressed? I read your letter and you can’t even imagine what a happy person you are. Let's go step by step:
1.Your health is fine
2. There is a job, there is income
3. There are people close to you
5. Young, you can outrun everyone
Here is a list of your main assets. You're a grown guy, oddly enough, people have times when they want to die. So, I’ll tell you this is your life and only you can fix it, become happy. Stop becoming despondent, because despondency is also a human sin. Just get out of this state with the help of God and start living without looking back. What will help you is faith. You don’t need anyone to cry, all the strength and faith is already in you. Talk to God, because He is always with us. Ask for help, repent, start thanking and I’m sure changes will begin in a good direction. Everything is temporary, be patient and grateful, my brother. Happiness to you.

Just a guy, age: 23 / 24.05.2017

Hello Sasha!
I'm very, very glad you posted here! And I’m glad that I saw it too and can write to you. The most important thing I want to ask you is to try, if you don’t accept it, then understand: either we control our thoughts, or they control us. When I accepted the second option, I felt about the same as you. Therefore, let me tell you WHAT NOT TO DO, so that you don’t get scared by your thoughts later.
1. Try not to listen to music while thinking about something. No matter how strange this advice may seem, it is very important. If you don’t go deep into medical terms, but to put it simply, then you are simply “twisting” yourself, cultivating a state in yourself that is then so difficult to recover from and so difficult to control.
2. No matter how pointless it may seem, do some things. In fact, this is also a good way to take a break from heavy thoughts. Moreover, when we understand that we are useful to someone (and you can help your parents), strength appears for other things that are useful directly to you - communication, walks, sports.
3. Communicate! Communicate!!Communicate!!! Treat communication as a cure for your condition: take (for now) twice a day))) That is, in the first half of the day you talked to someone, and in the second.
4. I could be wrong a thousand times, I’m sorry if that’s what you think, but such despondency can be due to a lack of understanding, acceptance, non-judgment, faith in the best in you, sincere support. Even one word can give all this, if it is from the heart and sincere - perhaps it is worth looking for a psychologist, if not face-to-face, then at least on the Internet, you can find a free one. And you are unlikely to be mistaken if you talk to the priest - in any Orthodox church church (this is from personal experience, this moment in my recently hopeless life was key).
5. Watch videos about compassion. It’s so easy to google it - it’s difficult to explain what happens when you approach this topic, even passively.
6. Know about yourself that you are a good person. Know this firmly, and when doubting yourself: to do or not to do, say to yourself: “I will do as a good person would do.”
7. Don’t even doubt that this condition will pass! It is not necessary that all problems will suddenly disappear, but you will definitely be able and in the mood to solve them and at the same time enjoy life! Often only hormones are to blame for depression - so maybe this aspect is also worth thinking about?
Hold on!!! Everything will definitely get better!

Natalia, age: 35 / 05/24/2017


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