A man holds his face. The body does not lie (the meaning of various human body postures)
Not long ago, through a series of experiments, British scientists found that in just one second, when people meet their eyes, they exchange a volume of information comparable to what is obtained in three hours of live communication. Psychology says that because of this, some people find it difficult to look into the eyes of their interlocutor for a long time.
Practice not looking away when speaking. This will help you make new friends faster and also build favorable business relationships
Another reason lies in the person whose eyes they look into. This can be very annoying, irritating, and make you nervous. It seems that the interlocutor is trying to “read” you, listening to every word and creating his own personal opinion. Such moments hardly evoke positive emotions, and a person tends to quickly look away.
It is very difficult for men or women who seem to deliberately glare with their heavy gaze in order to show, for example, their superiority over their interlocutor. From the very first seconds of such communication it becomes uncomfortable, there is a strong desire to lower your eyes to the floor.
The ability to make eye contact is an important quality when communicating.
- More details
Uncertainty and boredom
Very often, looking away when speaking can be a sign of shyness. With the help of a glance, you can express your attitude towards an object, show interest, and demonstrate a feeling of falling in love. Also, one can read in the gaze that it is difficult for a person to find words for conversation, his nervousness, etc. Therefore, they avert their eyes to the side so as not to tell too much about themselves ahead of time and show themselves not at their best.
Uncertainty and lack of composure also often force people not to look their interlocutor in the eyes. Sometimes it can be difficult to find a common language with this or that person, which is why the interlocutor lowers his eyes, begins to nervously finger something in his hands, tug at his ears or hair, thereby betraying his excitement. Such people are simply not sure that they behave and speak correctly.
There are very common cases when you don’t look your interlocutor in the eyes because he is simply uninteresting. In such a situation, there is simply no point in exchanging information both at the verbal and non-verbal levels. It’s enough to simply recognize whether your interlocutor is bored with you. In addition to a downcast gaze, such a person will be characterized by other signs of his disinterest: frequent glances at his watch,
Our eyes usually follow our thoughts, and sometimes, just by looking into our eyes, other people can understand what we are thinking about. Would you agree that reading another person's thoughts through their eyes is a very useful skill? Thanks to this, everyone will be able to understand whether they are being deceived or determine whether your interlocutor is interested in what you are telling him about. Poker players master this useful skill perfectly.
Eyes to eyes
Such contact with the interlocutor indicates that he is very interested in talking with you. Prolonged eye contact may indicate that the person is scared and/or doesn't trust you. Brief eye contact means the person is anxious and/or not interested in talking to you. And the complete lack of eye contact indicates the complete indifference of your interlocutor to your conversation.
Man looking up
Eyes raised upward are a sign of contempt, sarcasm, or irritation directed at you. In most cases, such a “gesture” means a manifestation of condescension.
If a person looks at the upper right corner
He visually imagines the picture stored in memory. Ask someone to describe the appearance of a person, and your interlocutor will certainly raise his eyes up and look to the right.
If a person averts his eyes to the upper left corner
This indicates that he is clearly trying to imagine something. When we try to use our imagination to visually “draw” some picture, we raise our eyes up and look to the left.
If your interlocutor is looking to the right
This means that he is trying to remember something. Try asking someone to remember the melody of a song, and the person will definitely glance to the right.
Looking to the left, people make up sounds
When a person imagines a sound or composes a new melody, he looks to the left. Ask someone to imagine the sound of a car horn underwater, and they will certainly look to the left.
If your interlocutor lowers his eyes and looks to the right
This person conducts a so-called “internal” dialogue with himself. The person you're talking to may be thinking about something you said, or they may be thinking about what to tell you next.
If a person lowers his eyes down and looks to the left
He thinks about his impression of something. Ask your interlocutor how he feels on his birthday, and before answering you, the person will lower his eyes and look to the left.
Downcast eyes
We show that we do not feel very comfortable or even embarrassed. Often, if a person is shy or does not want to talk, he lowers his eyes. In Asian culture, not looking a person in the eye and looking down when talking is the norm.
These “rules” are generally followed by all of us. But left-handed people do the opposite: right-handed people look to the right, left-handed people look to the left, and vice versa.
How can you tell if someone is lying to you?
There is no absolutely correct algorithm by which you can determine whether your interlocutor is lying or not. The best option is to ask a basic question, such as “what color is your car?” If a person raises his eyes and looks to the right (or left, if he is left-handed), then he can be trusted. Thus, in the future you can understand whether you are being deceived or not.
For example, while telling you about something that happened in class, your friend looks to the right; When talking about his holidays, he constantly looks up and glances to the right. Most likely, everything he said is true. But when he tells you about the beautiful girl he met the other day, and his eyes are directed to the upper left corner, you can conclude that he is clearly “embellishing.”
It is not for nothing that the eyes are called the mirror of the soul. It is the gaze that helps us learn about the feelings and emotions of the interlocutor, even if outwardly he does not show them in any way. However, there are times when a person does not look you in the eyes. How should this be assessed? In our article we will tell you the main reasons for this.
Why doesn't a person make eye contact when talking?
Eyes are the connecting link between the human soul and the outside world, so they are not capable of lying. One of the most common versions as to why a person does not make eye contact is that the person is simply deceiving or hiding the truth.
However, psychologists have proven the fact that this is not true in any case. There are several probable reasons why a person does not look you in the eyes and looks away.
Shyness
This reason has been scientifically confirmed. Shy people tend to hide their own feelings, but their eyes can easily make them obvious. A look can convey interest, love and much more, and a person does not always want his feelings to be understood at this very moment. Therefore, a person cannot constantly look into the eyes.
Excessive amount of information
Just a second glance is enough for a person to receive as much information about another as he could get in several hours of communication. Due to the overload of this information, it is necessary to look away for a while.
Irritation
Often, constant face-to-face communication makes you nervous and irritating. It begins to seem that the interlocutor is trying to unravel your entire essence, and this is not pleasant for anyone. That's why the person doesn't make eye contact.
Feeling of self-doubt
If during a conversation a person is nervously fiddling with something, fiddling with his hair, the tip of his nose, his ears, this is a clear sign of real emotional excitement. This type of person does not look you in the eye because he is unsure of his own actions and what kind of look would be appropriate in this situation.
Heavy look
The heavy, piercing gaze of the interlocutor causes a feeling of discomfort; it is unpleasant to look into the eyes of such a person.
Lack of interest in the interlocutor
You can recognize a lack of interest not only by looking away, but also by yawning, regularly glancing at your watch, interrupting the conversation under various pretexts, etc. In this case, it is better to try to stop communication as soon as possible.
To ensure that communication is always positive and productive, learn to look away from the eyes of your interlocutor as little as possible. Thanks to this, it will be easier for you in both friendships and work relationships.
Why doesn't a person make eye contact when talking?
According to some observations of people, it was revealed that most people do not look each other in the eyes when talking. People in love use eye contact to a greater extent, while ordinary interlocutors, as a rule, do not make eye contact at all.
At the same time, it was revealed that managers who have an effective management style look them straight in the eyes when communicating with their subordinates.
We all know that we need to look the other person in the eye when talking, but few of us are able to do this comfortably. Sometimes a person doesn't make eye contact. We try to look our interlocutor in the eyes, even if we are not very comfortable, but at these moments we feel awkward because we have not been accustomed to this since childhood.
In some countries (especially Muslim countries), women do not make eye contact at all when interacting with men or older people, as this is a sign of disrespect.
Some people believe that when communicating you should look at the bridge of your interlocutor's nose, but such close attention can make your opponent nervous. Well, a direct and persistent gaze sometimes causes uncertainty in a person.
How to learn to look people in the eyes
Try to look at your interlocutor with a softer gaze, while trying to cover a larger area with your eyes, then you will be able to see your interlocutor with peripheral vision for a very long time. The main thing is not to lose eye contact, do not be nervous, and try to behave calmly when talking.
When looking a person straight in the eyes, pay attention to your facial expression; you should look at him softly and kindly. As a rule, when you look closely, you can see a certain rigidity in the gaze, caused by the effort not to look away. If you want to avoid this, then imagine that you are mentally supporting your interlocutor by the shoulder, then your gaze will definitely acquire a certain warmth.
Sometimes a person does not make eye contact during a dialogue. After all, not everyone can look calmly into the eyes, since most of us do not have confidence in ourselves and in what we say. But this is very important, because when making eye contact, the main cause of nervousness is precisely uncertainty.
The main thing is to understand that by looking your interlocutor straight in the eyes, you are thereby establishing contact with him. At the same time, you must be open and your main goal is to win over your interlocutor.
Try to be attentive to the facial expression of your interlocutor; you can “mirror” him somewhat, that is, take the same pose, or demonstrate emotions using the same facial expressions.
The main thing is not to confuse the ability to look into the eyes with the ugly habit of looking at people, since the latter most often causes hostility on the part of your interlocutor.
Why doesn't a person make eye contact? There is a widespread belief that he is telling lies and deliberately hiding his gaze so as not to reveal his real intentions. This may well be true, but there are a number of other reasons why the interlocutor specifically avoids eye contact. A person may not make eye contact because of his character, temperament, lack of courage, or lack of self-confidence. The qualities that form the personality in each of us are expressed differently, and this affects how sociable a person is and how he behaves during a conversation.
A person does not make eye contact when talking - the main reasons
Banal shyness
This fact has been confirmed by scientific research. A person knows that a glance can give away feelings, so he deliberately averts it. Many lovers try to hide their increased interest because they are afraid to openly express their feelings or are waiting for the right moment. If at the same time your interlocutor blushes and begins to say some nonsense, then love is obvious here!
Diffidence
These people find it difficult to communicate with others because they constantly worry about what people will think of them. An insecure person rarely makes eye contact, and often does so furtively, because he is very worried about his emotional experiences and thinks about how best to behave during a conversation.
Heavy unpleasant look from the interlocutor
Such people are often called energy vampires, who seem to deliberately “drill” with their gaze, wanting to suppress and show their superiority. The heavy, gaze of the opponent seems to penetrate the interlocutor, causing discomfort and causing unpleasant emotions. In these cases, eye contact is very difficult, so many try to avoid it, for example, by lowering their eyes to the floor.
Irritation
Some people may be tired of attempts at close eye contact on the part of their interlocutors; they think that they are trying to catch them in something bad and experience unpleasant emotions and irritation about this.
What the interlocutor says is absolutely not interesting
If an averted indifferent glance is combined with a yawn, and the person you are talking to often looks at his watch, then you should quickly stop this dialogue, since it is ineffective. In this case, there is no sense of verbal and non-verbal exchange of information.
Intense information flow
In a few seconds of close visual contact, you can get a very large amount of information, which is equivalent to many hours of frank communication. Therefore, even during a confidential conversation, friends sometimes look away in order to distract themselves and digest the information received.
Why does a person close his eyes when talking?
A squinted gaze means precise concentration of attention on a specific object. A narrowed, intense gaze can indicate an increased tendency to criticism and hostility, and also reveal the callousness of the person. Half-closed eyelids of the interlocutor during a conversation indicate his high self-esteem, arrogance, swagger, and complete inertia to current events.
If the interlocutor closes his eyes without much effort, without squinting them, it means that he is trying to abstract himself from external events. Such self-isolation helps to concentrate well on thinking about some task, reflect on upcoming events and enjoy sensual visual images.
Considering the situation as a whole, it is quite possible to understand why a person hides his eyes when talking.
7 basic gestures of a liar- it will be interesting for everyone to read and perhaps get to know yourself and also in order to know when a person is hiding something from you. Although some of the options may mean something completely different, for example, that the person is complex and there is no intention to deceive, therefore, using these statements, you need to feel the person.What gestures can give a person away if he is lying? These are gestures associated with touching hands to the face. An experiment was conducted with nurses who, in a role-playing game, were instructed to tell patients lies about their condition. Those nurses who had to lie were more likely to use hand-to-face gestures than those who told the truth to their patients. Now let's look at the various hand-to-face gestures and the conditions under which they occur.
1. Touching the Nose
In essence, touching the nose is a subtle, disguised version of the previous gesture.
It can be expressed in several light touches to the dimple under the nose, or it can be expressed in one quick, almost imperceptible touch.
One explanation for the nature of this gesture is that when bad thoughts enter the conscious mind, the subconscious mind tells the hand to cover the mouth, but at the very last moment, out of a desire to disguise this gesture, the hand is withdrawn from the mouth and a light touch is obtained on the nose.
2. Collar Pull
Scientists have found through research that lying causes an itchy sensation in the delicate muscle tissues of the face and neck, and scratching is required to soothe the sensation.
This seems to be an acceptable explanation for why some people pull back their collar when they are lying and suspect that their deception has been discovered. The cheater also appears to have beads of sweat on his neck when he senses that you suspect he's cheating.
This gesture is also used when a person is angry or upset, while he pulls his collar away from his neck; to cool it with fresh air.
3. Rubbing the Eyelid
This gesture is caused by the brain's desire to escape from the deception, suspicion, or lie it encounters, or the desire to avoid looking into the eyes of the person to whom it is telling a lie.
4. Scratching your neck
In this case, the person scratches the area under the earlobe with the index finger of his right hand.
This gesture speaks of doubt and uncertainty of a person who says: “I’m not sure that I agree with you.”
It is especially noticeable when it contradicts verbal language, for example, if a person says something like: “I understand exactly what you are experiencing.”
5. Fingers in the Mouth
A person puts his fingers in his mouth in a state of severe depression. This is a person’s unconscious attempt to return to that safe, cloudless time of infancy.
A small child sucks his finger, but as for an adult, in addition to his finger, he puts objects such as cigarettes, pipes, pens and the like into his mouth.
If gestures associated with covering the mouth with one's hand indicate deception, fingers in the mouth indicate an internal need for approval and support.
Therefore, when this gesture appears, it is necessary to support the person or reassure him with guarantees.
6. Scratching and Rubbing the Ear
This gesture is caused by the desire of the listener to isolate himself from the words by placing his hand near or on top of his ear.
This gesture is an adult improved modification of the gesture of a small child when he covers his ears so as not to listen to the reproaches of his parents.
Other options for touching the ear include rubbing the pinna, drilling into the ear (with a fingertip), tugging on the earlobe, or bending the ear in an attempt to cover the ear hole.
This last gesture suggests that the person has heard enough and perhaps wants to speak out.
7. Protecting the Mouth with the Hand
Protecting your mouth with your hand is one of the few gestures of an adult and has the same meaning as a child's gesture.
The hand covers the mouth and the thumb is pressed to the cheek, while the brain at the subconscious level sends signals to restrain the words spoken.
Sometimes it may only be a few fingers near the mouth or even a fist, but the meaning of the gesture remains the same.
The gesture of "protecting the mouth with one's hand" should be distinguished from evaluative gestures.
If this gesture is used by a person at the time of speech, this indicates that he is telling a lie.
However, if he covers his mouth while you're talking and he's listening, it means he thinks you're lying or doesn't agree with you.
+ 17 additional rules
1. The expression of emotions and reactions is slower than how a person usually behaves. It starts late, progresses more violently, and ends very abruptly2. Some time passes between words and expression of emotions. For example, they tell you that your work was done brilliantly and only then, after realizing what they said, they smile. When a person tells the truth, the emotional reaction will take place simultaneously with the words.
3. What a person says is completely inconsistent with the expression on his face. For example, when someone says the phrase “I love you,” the person feels as if he or she has eaten a slice of lemon.
4. When expressing emotions, not the whole face is involved, but only a part. For example, a person smiles only with his mouth, without using the muscles of the cheeks, eyes and nose. In this case, the eyes really become the mirror of the soul, because learning to specifically control their expression is very difficult, for some it is impossible.
5. When a person tells you a lie, he appears to be trying to take up as little space as possible, pressing his hands to himself and his legs one next to the other.
6. The person will avoid meeting your eyes.
7. A person touches or scratches his nose or ears. In rare cases, touch the heart area on the chest with an open palm.
8. A person will “defend” instead of going “on the attack” in a conversation.
9. A lying person may try to turn their body or head away from you.
10. He may unknowingly put some objects between you, creating some kind of “protective barrier.”
11. A liar can use your words to make the answer sound very similar to the question. “Did you break the far window on the second floor?” “No, it wasn’t me who broke the far window on the second floor.”
12. You are not given a clear answer to the question; instead, they give you a “floating” answer that can be understood in different ways.
13. Your interlocutor may talk more than necessary, adding unnecessary details. He feels awkward when there is a pause in the conversation.
14. When a person lies, he may omit pronouns and speak in a monotone voice.
15. A person can speak softly, but at the same time it is grammatically incorrect. The sentences will be confusing.
16. If you believe that they are lying to you, try changing the subject of the conversation. If a person is really lying to you, he will willingly change the subject and appear more relaxed.
17. The person uses humor and sarcasm to get around the topic.
These signs make it pretty easy to tell if someone is lying to you. But, of course, we should not forget that there are exceptions.